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Yağmur Kaya Dec 2019
What exactly it is that you want?
Life, or death
The end or the breath?
Or you just want none
You only wish to be drawn
In the holy waters of the middle
Standing in the very deep
To be numb but also to feel
Hear the breezes of the tears
No chaos is here, there's nothing to deal
Nothing to worry and nothing to bear
Water caresses you like you're a child of her
Nothing to exclude and nothing to despair
Nothing to repress and nothing to depress
But in the meantime, your lungs got full
Water caressed you and now she's hugging you inside
Don't blame her, she only wants to become one
with you, with me, with them and with all
No not the sorrow, she wants to give you peace
But in a sudden you start fighting like a beast
You are a monster! She doesn't want you any least!
You are disgusting, you throw up while she's given you a feast!
You're mad, you scream, you swim!
You swim till it's the top that you reach
You're born now, born again, the air gives you pain
Your eyes all are blurry there's nothing that you can see
You only hear and it is now the tears of your own
They run down like they miss where they were from
Then your vision recovers but your mind feels heavy
You didn't miss this place then why did you come here?
Again? To the place which is giving you pain
Constant pain, endless fights, sinful thoughts!
What is it? What is it that you want?
Then it hits you, now you know the answer
You just want it
The all that can be given
Yağmur Kaya May 2019
All my actions
All the words I've said
All my choices
All the colors of the fate
To me, they look and stare
But they don't actually exist
I've made them up
So I could give a meaning
To being alive
To stay here
Like it really matters
But it does not
I'm just fooling myself,
like everyone else
And when we'll die
We will realize that
But it will not matter again
Cause we'll be gone
And never coming back
Yağmur Kaya Feb 2019
I didn't even have you
So yes, I cannot lose you
But I did
But I do
I'm losing you
every second
that I don't have you
by my side,
by your heart
every second
that you don't have me
in your dreams,
in your thoughts
But there's nothing I can do
I cannot have you
I cannot lose you
But I did
But I do
Yağmur Kaya Jan 2019
I cannot reach you
In any thought of mine
Or in any universe
Or in any destiny of god
But my desperateness for you
always exists
In the wormholes
Or in the unknown galaxies
And I know it, I will love you
until cosmos reaches its limits
But guess what,
no one knows
when will it
or will it ever
As my love's existence and fever
But I accepted it, your impossibility
Now even a dream of you is actually enough for me
Because love is not about having
It's about feeling
And I can feel you even if you're not here
Or even I have never touched you or hugged you or kissed you
I don't need any memories to love you
You are enough for me
just standing somewhere
breathing, laughing somewhere
Somewhere where I've never been
But it doesn't matter, cause I've learned
How to always feel you
Within my being
Yağmur Kaya Jan 2019
It was so beautiful
Like we've known each other
I wanted to hold your hand
But, of course I couldn't

I just wanted to hold you
Wanted to embrace,
Wanted to touch your face
Feel the heat of your skin
Hear the beat of your heart
Ready to be teared apart
But, of course I couldn't

I was so close, so close to do,
to do all of this!
Was so close to you,
so close to lean and kiss your lips!
Wish I could, how I wish I did!
I asked myself, right said should left said shouldn't
And of course, I just couldn't...
Yağmur Kaya Jan 2019
In every face, I search yours
In every sound, I hear your voice
In every look, I see your eyes
In every place, I dream I'm in your arms

Always, and always
I think of you
I think of you and how you think of me
How I wish my poems could make you see
that how my love is deep and real as my pain
I'm aching, every night and day
but I'm hoping, that you'll love me someday

All the time, when the sun is gone
or when the night is done
All I think is, you and your face
I'm curious of how your lips taste

Just, please
give me a chance
I know that, you will not regret
Just let me touch you, and your heart
Then you will understand what I meant
Yağmur Kaya Jan 2019
You come, you go
No one notices
You laugh, you cry
No one sees
You yell, you hush
No one hears
And the worst part is,
you got used to this
You think you deserve,
all of it
You're not worthy
You mean nothing
If you disappear,
no one would care

I'm right here
Don't you see me?
I'm just a silhouette,
standing here and there
Touch me now!
Say that I'm gone!
No, I'm right here,
front of you while,
all of you laugh, talk and share
But soon, I'll be gone
I'll do the inevitable
Because if I'm gone
I'll no longer be,
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