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 Feb 2015 TINA
Laura
1/15/15
 Feb 2015 TINA
Laura
don't tell me idolization isn't dangerous
you see,
i haven't worn red lipstick since i found out you didn't like it
and now i don't know if i like it or not
i can't tell if my favorite show is my favorite show because you,
sir,
liked it first.
parts of me are parts of you and i wonder who i'd be if i took you out
but i don't
remember
how to do it
throw me to the wolves;
but at least wolves are loyal to their own pack.
want some  ice.
funny voices;
they do say laughter is the best medicine.
haha?
i.
the strongest urge
to carve the word "home"
on your lips--
i have yet to discover why it pulses  within me, flaring up at every touch,
and leaving residual fingerprints on the inside of my skull.

ii.
was never really good at learning languages, but the french do know how to speak otherwise--
speaking in tongues (passionately speaking) is a pastime that looks right for our inquisitive mouths.

iii.
seal every promise not with pinky fingers, nor swears on holy bibles, or unfortunate gravestones--
no, please seal mine
with a kiss.
Obsessed with kissing.
"I'm broken in places people don't even have names for. I'm sad. I'm nothing to romanticize. God, I'm falling apart, I'm in pieces, why can't you see?"

"You're beautiful, even when you're in pieces."
Tonight
i.
forehead kisses;
flannel covered embraces.

ii.
funny how a such a simple act
made me so intoxicated, yet it seems natural.

iii.
the nature of these feelings has nothing to do with
butterflies in my stomach, but maybe a whole flock of birds.

iv.
I can feel my heartbeat in my throat, my face is flushed,
going faster than any hummingbirds, whether inside me, or in my head.

v.
so warm, so promising, so deadly--
fleeting moments like this make me wonder
why I bother trying to breathe around you.
Strawberry blond
She's hopefully despairing, insanely sane,
But I lovingly hate contradictions.
sighs
you tasted like shattered glass
and I was never one to walk away
from loving cold hearts and mosaic minds,
while mosaics are considered broken art
still sometimes I wonder if the same could be spoken of broken hearts--
mine never looked quite as good
        as the concrete and sea-glass odds and ends
configuration that sat brightly on my mantelpiece though.

   I also never quite figured out why my name always sounded
just as disjointed off your lips--
why my name never felt normal when it reverberated off the walls as
it was released from your gray toned voice
and why the syllables seemed to sound
less like a moniker, and more like a broken apology--
my name never rhymed with "sorry" but for some reason, it did
when you said it.
your name still sounds like a sin I have yet to forgive
and I've contemplated going to church just to hear
it be exposed to confession--
but I realize now that I confessed all the sins I've ought to say
and this feeling is merely the leftover aftertaste of
shattered glass and blood bitten gums
gnawing at the corner of my mouth.

you once told me,
"the past is the only thing that matters
because it never changes."
I don't remember what I told you,
but I don't smash empty wine glasses anymore
just to feel
like we never parted.
This is the last poem I will ever write about you.
teenage crime has yet to be measured in
stolen kisses, blatant personality forgery, and heartbreak.
society.
i.
let me entice you to darker pleasures,
let me ****** you with sashaying hips.
and well placed caress.
ii.
flirtation is an awful habit of mine,
but I don't think you mind.
iii.
darling, you're a goner and I've barely begun.
habits
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