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A test, another thing to best,
A new you for another day
Sometimes you can't survive the burden,
That lay on top of you.
Your shoulders were never weak,
Until you saw the path that lay ahead
The mystery of life brings you down,
How does someone stay content amid such chaos?

Building yourself up every day
Only to be broken down again,
Overcoming your shallow misdemeanours
One day at a time.
If there's no bliss at the end, is it even worth it?
How hard must one grovel?
Maybe you've never seen the real thing?
Or maybe this is that path you were too afraid to travel?
If overcoming is the result, why must I even bother?

Maybe all I want
Is to persevere,
But towards a tangential goal
The sight of which still seems near,
It is too much, I often lose myself
In trying to build houses,
Over the grounds of disdain and despair.

Maybe all I want
Is to be happy right now,
Not thinking too much
About the load that I have to carry.
On the road with my dusty soul
I often wonder about could have been
Had I been normal,
Not letting my mind into overdrive
Running wild with thoughts asynchronous,
Maybe then I could have finally put on a savoury smile.

Can't always be proving myself,
I should instead focus on growing myself
To deal with things I've never dealt with before,
Tackle all of the unknowns
Trying to hold on to my peace of mind,
Never letting go of the grind.
What if I lose myself in the process?
What has been the purpose of all this struggle?
Isn't it to find solace in all things uncertain?
Or just make peace with what you had always known,
Still not fit for the task, I have got to grow.

I have got to rise, be mature
Get real about the situation,
Can't escape anymore
Is it a stronger sense of urgency,
Or a deeper sense of complacency?
That keeps you dwelling
Upon how things will eventually turn out,
Maybe you've always known.
Even with the work, you'll probably still end up ashore
In a sea of ghosts,
Never once been able to set sail for the treasure island.

Don't let the result bother you, they say
Well, that's the novel approach,
You've always been told to stay awake.
Never resting, never sleeping
For you might miss your chance,
With your ever fading vision
It's getting rather harder to hang on,
To the thought of you ever climbing up the skies
Bringing upon a tear down your eye.

Regardless, the wheels of change are in motion
You have to play your part,
Even if you feel like a deserted hut on a mountain hill
Like a cactus plant on a long country road.
It feels like the strangest thing,
But now you have a deeper understanding
You have to put it all on the line again.
Let your purpose be all-consuming
For this time if you fall short,
You fail with a purpose
Of trying to never let go of it,
For now, you are closer than where you were before.

If I let my sins do the talking,
You'll only hear them say
Pleasure is all you were seeking,
Pain is what lead you to stay.
Knowing this story of right and wrong,
Of pleasure and pain, of black and white,
Has got no end
Things so often knock you off your spirit
Bring you down.
For it was never binary
But rather multifaceted,
It was all the colours that you had found.

Maybe that's the only lesson here
Altering your thought process,
To walk with different shoes at different times
Always staying on top of each phase.
Winning is rather inconsequential now
In the longer run,
You'd have enjoyed your date with destiny,
With all its ups and downs.
All the times you'd have previously frowned
Now you'll smile in the same place,
For now, you learnt how to let go
Of that two-faced coin,
Holding on to the idea that experiencing a multitude of emotions
Is still a better result than waiting for the ultimate win
Feeling all the colours of the rainbow after heavy rain.
.
The clouds are especially hazy tonight
Maybe they are putting up a fight,
With the moon and the stars
While I am just sitting here by the river
Gazing at my phone, getting no network bars

Just like the river, in life, there is an ebb and flow
That is the only way I know how to grow
To a newer version of myself,
Fading out of somebody I used to know.
A new world awaits,
While you sit here
Trying to pick yourself up
Dust yourself off,
Collecting the pieces that once were
A whole part of you.

Seems like a never-ending journey,
To push yourself through
The trembles of your voice,
Now all feel like a cacophony
Hoping to strike
Yet another one of that epiphany,
That put you to sleep.
For days on end,
You used to weep
Of times unknown,
Of times gone.

Times when you let things slide,
Instead of taking control
Times that once seemed a bliss,
Ever so wonderful
Ever so full
Happy with what you got,
Rather than pondering
About what you deserved.

All seems lost
You're clinging to the last breath,
The last ray of sunshine
Seeping through the window
Of your soul.
The feeling of love
Perpetually evading you,
The pain is real
Something you can't control.

For once you realize
All is not gone,
All is not lost
Trying to think of better times,
That will come to you.
Love and hate,
Being equal parts of you
Not letting emotions drive you,
Relinquishing all that you held close.
Building yourself up
Fixing your flaws,
Moving on,
To another version of you.

Is it possible to connect again?
Is it feasible to love again?
Never seeking external validation,
Your self worth at stake,
That got shook
With every passing mistake that you ever made.

There's a gun to your head,
You feel like running ahead
But you stop
Knowing you can't run forever.
The time's up
You better man up instead,
You've got blood on your hands
Your death, your demise
Grief finds a home in your heart
Makes it hard to just restart.
Sometimes you just don't
Want to fight anymore
Stick to what you know,
Before this chance also blows.

The sun is drowning,
The night has come.
Waiting for a new sun,
To put an end to your run.
Finding glimpses of happiness
Through the fierce rain,
For a new world
That's calling out your name.
Time, an ever flickering flame
Makes you wonder where you stand,
If there was any other way around
To control it, mend it, change it
So that it won't rebound
The vibrations of time make you astound
It hasn't been kind, you say
Another minute, an hour, a day, an year you thought was there to stay
You didn't know when it flew by
I guess we'll wait for some time until this storm subsides...


Are we all meant to walk a path or should we strive for changing it?
And in turn, changing ourselves, with this passage of time
Pondering about the past and future from where you stand is itself a crime
So are we the criminals or were we robbed of time?


A moment of pleasure, a moment of pain
Ever wondered what's the last stop for this train?
Dust of the future, landing upon us today
The chaos and havoc of the present making your plans sway
Is it time for a change?
Is there any other way around it?

Time, for ever-flickering, is also ever-changing
Changes for the good and the bad
There's no hiding, but maybe we're on track
To drive the winds of change
By embracing them ourselves from the inside
Devoting it towards self-growth and development
Maybe we'll mentally hold on to that idea while letting destiny drive us
Towards a brighter future or a bitter end.

Move on, all alone, if you have to
There's all too much of this agony
The world is suffering but what's there left for you
Let that drive you towards creating a difference
And march closer towards your victory...

As I climb, as I rise high looking down upon the vibrant haze
I'm preparing myself for the next phase...

— The End —