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Odysseus needs a job he calls pima community college art department chairperson sends her his resume she does not respond after a week he catches her on phone she says he lacks proper credentials laughs to himself his whole life never worked lucrative or reputable position gets job working at thrift store wacky group of coworkers customers store frequently smells like public latrine job expires after 7 weeks he gets better paying job working at record exchange Odysseus always loved music everyday he learns new artist or band his coworkers are at least half his age they pester him about being slow on keyboard he never learned to type neither he nor his generation could have foreseen future would revolve around keyboard he plods on register keys people smile politely kids he works with fly fast making many keyboard mistakes November 29 2001 george harrison dies of cancer he is 58 years old Odysseus recognizes he is from past world different era of contrasting standards ‘80’s behavior is totally unbefitting let alone ‘60’s beliefs it is 2002 and one badly chosen word is sure to send someone flying off the handle he watches his language carefully co-workers mostly born in 1980’s grew up in 1990’s they live indifferent to hopelessness he struggles to bear none of them believe in higher power music is their religion he wonders what their visions concerns for humanity are? they seem addicted to consumption as if it is end in itself he questions what is hidden at root of their absorption? loneliness? despair? apathy? absence of vision? where is their rage against social conversion current administration? he warns them about homeland security act privacy infringement increased government secrecy power they shrug their shoulders why aren’t they looking for answers? why don’t they dissent? do they care where world is going? he realizes they will have to learn for themselves few coworkers read literature or know painters philosophy their passions are video games marijuana “star wars” most of them are extremely bright more informed than he often Odysseus needs to ask questions they know answers to right off the bat he is like winsome uncle who puts up with their unremitting teasing “hey you old hippie punk rocker get you fiber in today? stools looking a little loose! peace out old man” in peculiar way he finds enough belonging he so desperately needs they tell him stories about their friends *** addictions eating disorders futile deaths he is bowled over by how young they are to know such stuff job includes health insurance which is something he has not had since Dad was alive having some cash flowing in he buys laptop computer with high-speed connection cell phone trades in toyota for truck opens crate of writings he abandoned in ‘80’s begins to rewrite story sits blurry eyed in front of computer screen his motivation has always been to tell truth as he knows it he wonders what ramifications his labor will bring positive or negative results? he guesses his story will sound like children’s fable in stark brutality of distant future october 2002 3 week ****** spree terrorizes maryland virginia  district of columbia 10 people killed 3 critically wounded police believe white van responsible october 24 man and 17-year-old boy arrested in blue chevy caprice juvenile is shooter assailants linked to string of random murders including unsolved shooting of man at golf course in tucson Odysseus mentions incident at work speaks of prevailing terror madness in america co-workers kid tell him he is crazy “did you see a white van parked outside the store Odys?” they seem desensitized to increasing national atmosphere of anger panic or perhaps they are overwhelmed by weight trauma of modern life lie after lie prevailing  havoc slaughter make for dull numbness in world they know suicide is compelling option december 22nd 2002 joe strummer dies from heart failure at age 50 Odysseus’s eyes wet he adored the clash everything they stood for loved joe strummer and mescaleros he plays “global a go-go” over and over listens sings along with first track “johnny appleseed” march 2003 president bush launches attack against iraq united states seems drunk with “shock and awe” zealous blind patriotism many people politicians countries around globe question unproven line of reasoning saddam hussein possesses “weapons of mass destruction” Odysseus gripes “not another **** vietnam” record company allows employees to check out take home used product Odysseus stopped watching movies in 1980’s he has lots of catching up to do particularly likes “natural born killers” “american history x” “american ******” “fight club” “way of the gun” “******” “king of new york” “basquiat” “frida” “*******” “before night falls” “quills” “requiem for a dream” “vanilla sky” “boys don’t cry” “being john malkovich” “adaptation” “kids” “lost in translation” “25th hour” “28 days later” “monster” “city of god” “gangs of new york” “**** bill” list goes on perfect circle becomes his favorite band followed by tool lacuna coil my morning jacket brian jonestown massacre flaming lips dredg drive-by truckers dropkick murphys flogging mollies nofx stereophonics eels weakerthans centro-matic califone godspeed you black emperor magnetic fields fiery furnaces dresden dolls smog granddaddy calexico howie gelb sufjan stevens warren haynes dax riggs john vanderslice alejandro escovedo sean paul elephant man bjork p. j. harvey ani difranco aimee mann cat power sophie b. hawkins kathleen edwards mia doi todd kimya dawson regina spektor carina round neko case fiona apple nina nastasia beth gibbons mirah rasputina dr. dre talib kweli immortal technique murs slug atmosphere trick daddy eazy-e tricky list goes on october 21 2003 elliott smith commits suicide stabbing 2 wounds into his chest Odysseus thinks about music when jimi hendrix stood up at woodstock deconstructing national anthem on guitar it took courage when punk emerged with ugly screechy sounds attempting to divorce itself from melodious harmonies of 1970s complacent crosby stills nash  the dead kennedys and *** pistol did not pander to conventional commercial success what they performed were desperate gutsy songs trying to reclaim music rock’n’roll is no longer about inventing instead it imitates its glorious past hip-hop and rap come nearest to risking rebellion but are caught in gangsterism infantile self-adulation no longer does music offer vision of what is or could be instead it conjures looping escapism from hopelessness of modern life he continues working at record shop for several years store contains every genre of music cinema he grows weary of retail sales weary of higher-ups constantly changing rules dictating what to do head manager is manipulative drama queen thrives on crisis once in private admits stealing from company Odysseus nods not knowing what to say head manager works Odysseus hard keeps him down atmosphere of conspiracy betrayal hang at start of each day assistant manager routinely taunts berates bullies teases regularly calls Odysseus “dumb-****” or “****-up” other times laughs after goading Odysseus to flinch eventually bully backs off and they become friends retail pushes Odysseus to brink of misanthropy corporation requires all employees to exercise overt courteousness while serving a public of disrespectful gang bangers demanding “show me black market brotha lynch mac dre why ya godda keep dat **** behind da counter? dat’s ****** up hey old man i ain’t got all day” it always amazes him when shoplifter is caught with product stuffed down his pants thief blatantly states “i didn’t do it i don’t know how that got there” thanksgiving through christmas to new years is most swarming stressful he feels like automaton greeting customer scanning product looking at screen to see if price agrees with product typing money amount counting money into drawer counting money out handing change to customer handing customer product receipt next customer cockroach capitalism packs of masses line up in endless stream of needs stupid remarks job also involves trade appraising condition value resale probability of cds dvds video games tapes vhs vinyl news of  iraq war gets dismal mounting civilian casualties suicide bombers hostages beheadings beginning of 2004 reports of torture ****** psychological abuse **** ****** ****** of prisoners at abu ghraib prison guantanamo bay white house cover-ups denials growing insurgency increasing u.s. body count other costs he thinks about men and women who are so much braver than him then comes re-election and lavish republican parties parades cheney rumsfeld tom delay and whole regime smirk portentously on tv none of it makes sense anymore “we the people of the united states” what does it mean? the dreams and aspirations of his generation have long since faded away he is citizen of forgotten past current world is barbaric place he barely recognizes there are real pirates with machetes rocket launchers on the seas big drug corporations hiding harmful findings kidnapped children abandoned children crooked politicians corruption at every level of society horrifying stories daily ******* priests slave markets extreme heinous cruelties abruptly everyone is acknowledging society is worsening life is not the same he does not understand people and certainly does not understand america or the world he remembers when all could be so good modern existence has turned everything into madness what happened to lessons of history? it is as if Odysseus fell asleep and when he woke everything is changed he is mistaken about what he thinks he knows feels pity for people america pity disgust sorrow he misses his dog
Anais Vionet Jul 2023
(a sonnet in iambic pentameter)

I was drawn to you, from the first instant
something about you aroused my senses
a message unspoken, and insistent
that could somehow bypass my defenses.

I couldn’t show it, you couldn’t know it,
so I sat quietly and ignored you.
When chasing dreams, love is unbefitting
this I’d been told, and so, it must be true.

When I met you again, you were funny,
not what I assumed, you were something new.

Hashtag, as a boyfriend, he’s been money,
such was the start of our kissing booth truth.
BLT Marriam Webster word of the day challenge: Hashtag: a symbol (#) used to categorize tweets
Jake Espinoza Sep 2012
Write something about nothing, call it poetry.
Quiet jet-engine speed turmoil indecision on the topic.
Silent bodies, screaming minds, communication desired and avoided
Chance glances, glimpses. Hoofing it.
Write poetry about nothing, call it something, but only in whispers to yourself, pretend to hope to be heard, have interest feigned or genuine directed your way.
        Confusion. Mingled strings of internal conversation.
        Misdirected. I can’t think crooked, focalisation se présente sideways. Self-expression in non-poetic terms seems likely. Saw girls, one on Detroit street, summer clothes and quiet face, scampered inside from the yard littered. Saw her again in the street next to a minor catastrophe, passed her by and looked.
        Let’s take a second to breathe, introduce a silence to the mind so that everything that comes can be better heard. So much background noise, minor thoughts mingle into static, almost impossible to interpret the bemused psychobabble. Empty it out, slow down, relax, and maybe you’ll begin to recognize coherent thoughts; organize the jumble of words fighting to be understood all out of order and as yet meaningless. Thoughts keep revolving, recycling; the girl, she reminded you of Melissa. Same style, a girl whose mood is always a grateful summer to your wintry perspective. Refreshing reminder, easy on the eyes. This girl’s likeness and your friend the poet, separated; his utensils. The paintbrushes he flourished about to create were not wooden and sable but liquid and smoke. That small ******* secret voice suggesting unwholesome things, acts unbefitting of brotherly conduct. He is my true brother, my family; an extension of my own soul. I went to treatment, they broke me down, whittled away at my rough hewn surface to make sculpture, a replica of others, manufactured to meet requirements and specifications deemed necessary for target successes. This talk of will, sacrificing my own, force-fed trust and mantras begetting themselves in circular fashion, turning in sync with the earth’s rotation upon its axis in its course of necessary revolution.
        Expended effort and time saved or served, goals impossible until forgotten, let go empty space ellipsis let god. Self-supplanted in unpredictable incomprehensible present, trying to avoid thoughts of crumpled papers in paper bags serving as receptacles for things undesired or abandoned or too truthful, I’m forgetting what it is to hide from myself which makes it possible to disappear. Tune in to the present, your train of thought – a queue – crowding, crowds rushed and frantic me first says everyone impatiently awaiting their turn for attention. Starved but forgotten proper nutrition. Self-criticism equating to self-analysis – spontaneity – uncontrollable, unforeseeable in the present aromatic mixture of mason jars swarmed with colored lights beautiful dim in darkness in which beer was swilled, time spent in unkempt kitchens nervous, standing walking evading settlement peace or rest, this is excitable discomfort, anything to slow down or feel a surrogate thereof. Forgotten words remembered, past rooms beautiful dim in darkness, proper illumination – see everything just right, not too brightly though not too dark. Living in this room for now, seeing as though immersed, submerged in memory of smiling faces easy laughter, cold-eyes Vera and well-at-ease. There is a wealth of self-acceptance. These people, their faces shine contentment, comfort, and mine is manufactured. I’ve become a factory where everything is sought after and nothing is attained because my goals are intangible, comprehensible but beyond aid, sorry, it’s just the way you are, maybe you’ll know one day, but we can’t help. We don’t waste our time with questions of absurdity, we live in this present moment, and that’s how we do it – no plans until plans come. No thoughts until thoughts come. Easy transitions in conversations, we don’t think of how to be ourselves, we just do it because we slow down, we know we are breathing, and it is not in our nature to forget it. It is not in our nature to live in our heads, to flail in a swell of questions less dense than water, we attend. We simply are.
        This is contentment. This is their seamless skin where mine corresponds to scars and rabid suspicious scratches dug deep. They were content with their surfaces; I was convinced of malice subcutaneous hence the scars and blood breathing open air. It is this suspicion that draws a line, places me on one side, them on another; it is this curiosity intrinsic and ironically unquestioned that digs the trenches in shape of graves. This fatal imaginary need for understanding where there is nothing to be understood. Questions are my poison, self-manufacturing, self-sufficient destruction, coming hot off the assembly line in my skull. Questions incubating further questions error: implement infinite loop, killall. Find the bug, recompile, run. Sit still, learn from the wind and atmosphere you’ve learned to sense which makes you an outsider only because you wanted this somehow. Uncertainty, confused reflection, arbitrary comments; coincidences, conspiracy, breakpoint. Programs running in smooth operation.
        Radiohead blaring, self-conscious self-care, these people enjoy themselves with unconscious grace, they let themselves be and immediately I tear my mind in two to understand what they understand without understanding. It is the nature of love and music that displays the closest correlation. These people are my idealized notion of grace, rendered more so by speed of processing, depth of analysis so that they appear not only graceful creatures, but with grace amplified as if observing them in slow-motion. So much contingent on understanding, contingency notwithstanding if I was comfortable with ignorance, if questions did not occur. These people are appropriate; balanced, no need for brutal introspection, no need to stir up sand composing the sea bed. These people, they understand certain things I cannot as of yet. They understand, they know without knowing that things are the way they are because things are the way they are and that’s ok, we’re ok, and everything is and will always be ok as long as we know well enough to leave well enough alone. We are each other, serving compliments to sainthood.
        ...let go, and be one with us, for love is in our hearts.
It took a few lines to get into it. Also, this is meant to be read aloud, somewhat intensely.
onlylovepoetry Apr 2019
don’t leave me!
(the leaving is in the writing)

she whispers in his ear,
after they’ve climbed into bed,
their tiring bodies both embraced,
soft sunken into, by, a familiar mattress,
after a sophisticates city night out seeing stars,
stars, human and astral,
city lights dusk heightened the vocal sparking,
singers singing songs of love from
radio days long ago

don’t leave me

she intones, a prayerful demand,
equally a command and a begging behest,
puzzling what prompted this pressed request,
spoken with urgency born in her breast

don’t leave me
drifting off and into his thin place,
but tugged back by this cri du coeur,
unsponsored and unwarranted,
nothing recalled that justly provoked,
a statement topping of anguish and fear

don’t leave me
he repeats in a rising questioning inflecting
puzzling riddling unbefitting a mellow-toning sleepy ingredient,
whatever do you mean, I leave you only
to dream, to purify, refresh and deep rest reset,
and return come morning with new poems,
what angst comes to stir this asking,
delaying my adventure to nightly restoration?

don’t leave me
repeated and repeated, dressed in urgency,
for I see the little things,
the wavering walk, the slowing of the thinking,
the walls, black n’ blue, whining about your into bumping,
the instant eagerness with which your body accepts
your voyage to dream places where
one goes and gone and must go unaccompanied,
some who are chosen and some who choose, not to return

don’t leave me
for the signs are ample, a certain weariness
dresses your face and crowns thy graying mane,
the slight labored breathing from steps once
bounded and leapt, the seeing and the hearing,
each slightly weakening, two orchestral instruments,
together off key and lessened in their triumphal vigor,
these words of mine, a royal guard,
keep them in your dreams

don’t leave me
minor missteps in the elongated negated of dying gracefully,
my tuning forks are sensitized,
and any slowing motion
both visible and hearable, and filed under inevitable

I will not leave you tonight,
my body warming as per usual,
your cold feet intruders indicate it’s you have left
for your own nightly visitors, occasional terrors,
you’ve woken me from my allotted sleep hours,
many poems now retrieving and in need of scribing,
while the fingertip digit flys across the digital keyboard,

I am more alive than I have ever been;
the leaving is in the writing,
each poem a steppingstone,

but the poems come fast and furious,
sometimes two at a time, the muses are bemused,
the prognosis is for thousands more and warn:

do not wear out your olive oil anointed forefinger,
the lubricated pointer of the way, wherein is contained

through that index
finger,
your body of works in the
“yet to arrive, yet untaxed filling station,”,
must be seen to fruition,
for it is only then that,
only love poetry
is ready for long lasting
eternal realization





5:36am 12th April, two thousand nineteen
Emeka Mokeme Aug 2018
Holding on to whatever
is not worthy or needed
is terribly frustrating,
a waist of time and lives.
Letting go of the
unnecessary and unbefitting
is the only ultimate proper
response to lack of result.
Whatsoever that is beautiful,
and acceptable to the heart,
the mind has to admit
and adjust to all its ramifications.
Healing comes after turmoil
and chaos that ravages the body
and mind.
Our mood recovers from the shock
and pressures of the world outside.
Nothing can be more devastating
than the mere ignorance of ongoing
deception choking the life out
of the people.
Taken by the horns,
this beast of burden has to go down.
The fire is rekindled within
and ignited by the unknown forces of
the divine light burning in the heart to
cleanse our impurities of the body and mind,
refreshed by the spirit with sublime light.
©2018,Emeka Mokeme. All Rights Reserved.
Love too strong for
those who bear it
is a curse invoked
by a deficit of worth.

It is not enough to
seek validation through
a proxy designated
Heaven on Earth.

With no center of gravity,
no anchor in character,
obsession is the limit
of the capacity to love;

Projecting impossible
desires and untenable
expectations amounts
to blasphemy of.

True love may not be
forever or easy;
parting may never
be pleasant to bear;

Love is not merely
what's pleasing or comfortable;
love is a crucible;
love is not fair.

Those fleeting failures
and moments of error
are chances at triumph,
a challenge to change.

Breaking our boundaries,
ballooning outward:
love is inevitably
savage and strange.

Unbefitting to cling
to the bridge that enables
a star in its wand'ring
to cross the abyss;

To carry the ballast
of vast insecurity
over that chasm,
untenable risk;

Or swallow the poison
of foolish dependence
on whimsical paramours,
obesiance thereof,

To be hung from the neck
by detestable premises,
weak and debased
by untenable love.
To learn how to love well, we must accept everything it throws at us - including heartbreak and thwarted expectations.
Ian Vehrmt May 2013
There is an entire world
that you do not belong in.

Their dreams seem distant,
their hearts of stone,
their smiles withered;
upon them shines a different sun.

You reach out,
but are unseen.

Did they do so, too?
Why, they did of course,
with upraised words most unbefitting,
they reached out as well
to you.

What good, however?
Between us, a chasm.

And those that,
much to your surprise,
did jump it -
did not jump to treat with you,
but as you,
to linger.

You linger still,
as do your hopes.

You do not in vain
hope for this different world
of peace and understanding
of gaps sutured shut
with meaningful intention.

But your words
are misaligned.

And you are, to all,
foreign,
of malice,
greed
and hatred.

You do not dream in vain,
but for now, you don't belong.
I've tried my best to let it go,
Perhaps I've not tried hard enough.
But still I feel so empty and hollow,
It all seems to be getting quite tough.
One step forward and two steps back,
Just one thing I can not seem to hack.

I hear your name and my worlds collide,
I don't know how and I don't know why.
My love for you I have never denied,
But I've always hid it I'm still so shy.
I had a chance that came and went,
Just like a love letter that was never sent.

A void so black and unfulfilled,
A broken heart that's left to bleed.
A once proud soul just hurt not killed,
A sudden stop with no warning to heed.
An inescapable chasm cut to the bone,
And now I'm left to clean-up alone.

I know I'll get through what perils ahead,
And speak the words left so long unsaid.
A life time of pain will relinquish its hold,
Instead of vacant the sign will read "SOLD".
A broken dream will mend in time,
But the sentence so far is unbefitting the crime.
Jake Espinoza Dec 2012
I've been brainwashed. Several somebodies have taken a cerebral antiseptic to the outermost crevices in my head, trying to scrape away my thoughts deemed poisonous. Condemned, pieces on the wrong end of a long finger, almost touching the targeted areas. The finger long and rigid attached to an arm, long and rigid, like that of a cruel king delivering a death sentence.
    Scrubbed me clean, they did. They know I am fond of it, so they went deep, taking extra precaution. Scoured. Sent me off, bid me goodwill with farewell kisses, waving handkerchiefs from modest doorways and lattice windows, farewell. Be careful out there, remember all we've taught you from the kindness in our hearts and the space in our pockets, our hungry bank accounts.
    Play along, play nice. Let's sit and try to write poetry when it feels like we forgot what it was. Smoke more cigarettes than usual because they're lights and it's the same. Walk to town, around town, back to the second floor to your strange home. Forget how to measure the passing of time without using hours and days. Nothing catches my attention when every minute's watched, waiting for the next small thing to happen. Live a life both empty and full. Miss your friends, experience a dull ache in your chest, then clean away that sad feeling with the next small thing you have to do joy-free. You don't have to like it they say. You just have to do it so I'm told. Just do what you're told. Don't think about how long it's been since you felt alive. Don't think about why you don't feel alive.
    Just do what you're told. There'll be time for being young when you're old and comfortable, when everything's set in place for you to live without financial difficulty or crushing loneliness carefully ignored. There are several minds I miss. There are people who remind me to feel alive, remind me that I want to, remind me of the hunger carefully ignored but all pervading, present as a dull ache. Remind me what I enjoy, remind me what it feels like to want something. Rekindle the cold ashes that had once been ablaze with glorious thoughts and words to strike dumb. Remind me how it feels to be powerful.
    A life of endless toil, tireless subordination, unbefitting of kings among men, we who see what others cannot, we who endure the suffering of madness because poetry is the fruit of our sacrifice, the music constantly in our heads. We for whom simply being alive has never been enough. We for whom the thought of ending a poem after it's begun feels like admitting a friend's passing.
    We who don't know how to stop.
    We who will never want to.
I'd like to revise this eventually, but I'm sure it won't happen for a while. So, enjoy.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2018
.who said... that German was, unbefitting to fulfill the concerns for the operatic?! Germans sing the most... nettopern known to man... their baroque reinterpretation... shudders the body to usurp all the ancients' phobias borrowed from the Greeks... goosebumps and... ****... like:

  freude, schöner götterfunken,
tochter aus elysium,
wir betreten feuertrunken,
himmlische, dein heiligtum!


but then again...
  anemia with the Wagner...
come: walhall..
       come Chopin...
and an...             orchestra!

you are born, to be lived...
and what questions you have,
are questions indeed,
but they are rudimentary...
and asked,
even if asked at all...
at what could be
beat estimated
the worthy time...
beside the / outside
the mortal script...
                   known as... life;

how does that feel?
when feeling
perfects
the "art" of the implosion
of thought?
the, missing moral "ought"
of the narrative?
the lost, theta?!
how does, that, "feel"?
all, emotion,
yet, seemingly,
no, thought?
   how does that feel...
mother?

ship, micro-cosmos of
quasi-Braille telegraph...
how, does, i, "feel", mother?

the complexity of human expression,
within the confines
of the childish beginning,
culminates in the banal finality of...
   that, which, is mortal...
       that, which, is mortal...
will always over complicate the sentence...
and make life, almost causeless.

we are all but wagers,
in a game that consist of nothing more
than a win, or a loss...
a game, waging...
   falsely perpetuating
a gain... mortality...
and a game waging...
not falsely perpetuating
a loss... again: mortality....
why should i forgive
the bass guitar omission in modern
music?!
Ryan P Kinney Dec 2015
This One’s Mine
by Ryan P. Kinney

I could tell something was wrong from the moment I saw her. The usual vibrancy that I find so irresistible was replaced with fear and doubt.
“Go look in your bathroom,” she said.
Laying on the counter I saw it. In our over-litigious world the blue donut no longer proclaims the news.
Just one simple word.
“PREGNANT”

I was immediately ****** into the eddy of doubt that plagued my accidental lover.
We had to be sure. So she made an appointment for the coming Tuesday to verify our fears. I anticipated that day with great anxiety. I needed to know, to create a solid path to follow. But the day came with no resolve. The doctor cancelled at the last minute. Life was torturing me for the sin of corrupting Erin’s innocence.
What I feared more than anything was the uncertainty. I’ve always feared it more than death itself. Death is going to happen. It’s inevitable. While I cannot anticipate the when I can try to prepare for it. Uncertainty gives me no straws to grasp at. Nothing to get ready for. Nothing to control, to steer, or get my bearings.

Nonetheless a week later our suspicions were confirmed. The depth charge known as a baby had been detonated into my life. My emotions became chaotic shrapnel, cutting shards into my every thought and confidence.
In those early stages my mind was a flurry of fret. My brain conceived every outlandish scenario: from adoption to challenging for sole custody. Only occasionally would a rational thought throw a life-saver into the churning murk of my thoughts:
“You survived Lisa, Ryan.”
“You will survive this.”

My first difficulty was Erin. She has been a conundrum between my word and my nature since I fell in love with her. For one symbolized by fire it is in my nature to burn that which I hold closest. But my word, the mock chivalry, deceives me into trusting that I will do what is best.
I loved her, I hurt her. A little over a year after I first picked the lock to her chastity I had left a time bomb in her life. No matter how little commitment she wanted from me, she would now be linked to me for the rest of her life.
And while it is undignified, assinine, and unbefitting The Phoenix, the human portion of my soul affixed misplaced blame, then shifted to lament and anger...
“You should have known better. You played with one born of fire and we both got burned.”
“Why was I never good enough for you?”
“My life was finally going in a direction I wanted it and now this comes to **** everything up.”
Angry more at myself but blaming Erin, I sought revenge on my life through self-pity and self-destruction. I desperately sought the affection of a woman I hadn’t corrupted. Yet, I was still afraid to corrupt another with my desperation. Eventually, I came full circle. It took both of us to create this child. It will take both of us to continue creating him. Although we may never be one, our unity will still exist in our son. It will have to be enough.

However, there was another storm on the horizon. And its name was Kinney.
My family is a curse, who it is my responsibility to love. No one else can understand them. They don’t even love themselves very well. Ours is a family where dysfunction is the only way we function. It’s like some unsolvable, incomprehendable equation that must still exist if the fundamental laws of reality are to hold true. No one else should have to take this taint of Kinney upon them. Yet someone now does, one poor mother and a marked child.
I am sorry that you both will have to share the blight of Kinney.
And, so very, VERY proud of that.
There is a twisted pride in surviving the curse of the Kinney. This survival is a quest to turn all that dysfunction into unyielding potential, of creating something beautiful from all the filth. Is it any wonder that I fought so hard with Erin to ensure that the label “Kinney” was somewhere in my son’s name? Another son to carry on the sullied name, another to try to make it mean something. The mark of Kinney is my stamp of selfish pride in having created something from nothing, my greatest art project.

Initially, the reward of my child felt as though I had been sentenced to 18 to life. I had reached a point in my life where I was ready to move on from Erin. I lamented something as trivial as the loss of my love life. My whole life was soon to belong to someone else. Control of my existence has shifted, seemingly overnight, from the culmination of my experiences to a little person not even half-formed yet. A deadline had been placed on my youth.

Slowly, acceptance began to quell the hurricane of emotions and uncertainty turned into certain doom. I began to make plans. In true “Ryan” fashion I looked to the future. It was time to get to work.
My anticipated son gave my dreams a sense of urgency, a deadline. A series of shelved, unfinished art projects burst into an organized chaos of activity. My art studio was erected in four months. A room full of storage was converted into an actual room. My most personal space, my bedroom, has always undergone radical changes each time my personal mindscape must radically change. It, like my life, was incomplete. It now better reflected the man I wanted to become; chaotic, nuanced, lived-in; not the man whose most brilliant pieces lay hidden in boxes. My entire foundation, which my home had become since the last foundation was shattered, underwent and is still undergoing major baby renovations. It is time I made room for someone else in my life.

To the beautiful mother of my son, who I will always love if for no other reason than she gave me this new life, I say this:

“Just as fire breeds we too shall watch our little spark explode into life. We will guide, tend, and fuel. It will be our job to give the energy of the universe form and function. The fires of a phoenix and the faith of a believer burn within our child. As Blessid Union of Souls says, “Love will find a way.” Ours will find its way into our child. I love you Erin, but I will love our child more.”

I remain full of doubts and insecurities  in my life as one self will end when our child is born. Born of con artists and addicts, this cliché haunts me, “Can I do it right?” The only promise I can make is that the world will never be the same. The Phoenix is drawing to a close. The latest manifestation of Ryan, The AntiFather shall rise from its ashes, bearing, like all spent phoenixes, new life.

As I enter this new chapter in my life I have one thing left to express:

Of all the people it could have been with, of all the doubters and underestimaters, all the possibilities, potentials, mistakes, and failures. For all my incessant ramblings, babblings, worries, and obsessions. To the world in which I bring my son, I say this,

“******* *****, this one’s mine.”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=alh2uHjTHHU&index;=15&list;=PLPvb07CD2LbgXN0YvnrZ79D9vrgGEUYUY
Cerasium Dec 2016
The age of betrayal
Unbefitting of a king
Passed down from gen to gen
The curse of never-ending pain

Solitude takes hold
As trust runs dry
The knifes of many
To heavy to bare

Seconds turn to hours
Time slips away
The ache in the heart
Remains to this day

Years go by
The suffering never ceases
Knives remain stuck
In this target on our back

Ever so casually
It grows bigger and bigger
Soon taking over
So nothing else remains

Betrayal hurts the most
From those you hold so dear
For when their knife slips in
Your heart shatters in two
You always had that fire
burning in your eyes
Life's force flowed
through your veins
So vibrant , so alive

You had a laugh
that rocked the boat
You made the difficult
into a joke

So I was unprepared
to find you there
Laying still as if asleep

I studied every wrinkle
upon your face
But I could find no trace
of the you
I used to know

I sighed
with the loss of an age
I had come to find
the very last page

Peace was so unbefitting
of the manor I knew
You would be so
unapproving of the show

I came to say goodbye
but you were not there
Instead I found you
in the sunset of my dreams
that night when I looked
up into the stars
Last-ting Pleasures (Leonard Cohen)


“Morning coffee on the balcony of this old duplex, the cat at my feet, and a couple of biscuits. Notebook near by. No one coming over.“

Leonard Cohen
                                 <>

aging with graces saved from so many spectacular failures, I took droplets of wisdom where they were free to drink, yet  
the best, were the most costly, for which you never end paying

but here I sit, well traveled, in Los Angeles sunshine, do my calculations, my final preparations, memorizing the blessings
so they flow easy, no stumbling, unbefitting a poet-writer lover

obligations diminished, bills paid, goodbyes said and spent, so long Marianne, lines of jewish buddhists wisdom seekers not too long, a few women come, last looks, a reminiscence for themselves

lovers seeking preservation, a signatory on their diaries, proofs, of what I know no longer know to state, sated, the statuary
sentence almost served, and last scribbles, to notebook dispatched

It is His Will, and yet here I am, asking forgiveness, as tradition demands and more, understanding, for it was all transcribed into praise of You and your god-sparked creatures, ah, bon chance, until we meet again, bring your robe and tallit, let us recite psalms

for if there was ever a wilder king, finer poet, lusting for life and god, all of us just birds on the wire, gambling which course to fly, where to, so waiting patient, resolution of the only remaining unanswered question, who by fire?

anyone, each of us, who first asked ourselves why not! before we ever thought,

                           why?
Silver Heinsaar Feb 2018
Conductor in the public
Playing irony's symphony
A mockery that some will applaud to
And others,
They don't know what to do.

The man stayed true
Given to the nature of his taboos
Controversy middle name
Lived his life to be entertained
A game where no sides were chosen
Equally rightful,
Yet fair must be proven.

"How do you contend when there is no victor?
What would you do without a leader?"
"Unbefitting," they said
"Our approval, you certainly won't gain
This dumbest, most ethereal opinion
Could never hope to belong here."

Thus the words that find no place
Shall be acted out on his face
A poker,
Nonetheless.
the flesh goes familiar, those “things “ that manufactured
desire frequent, hacked by time, weakness of spirit, no blame,
just the same, the not so vague re-collections, not insane, we-
we’re crazy desirous in ways only humans can rationalize
naked crazy desire, mating for life, the eroticism of certain letters,
e, k, s, t & y
and unbefitting, un-bewitting:
accident incredible incredulous,

you have spelled ecstasy,
not reality for ecstasy
is a state of trying to
make memories so crazed
that they become
lore
factual,
actual,
but beyond
belief,
singed with
grief, at their
disappearance
from current
history.

we play Prince, Michael Jackson,
The Commodores,

like the way
we tasted,
eclectic,
eclectic,
*******
direction,
the wordle
of interconnected
devolvement
fluidity

she states you write differently,
what’s the differential that been inserted?
are you pregnant or just elder?
her head shaking, possible sighting
of tears, fall into teacups, poured into
the aquarium, where the species
remind us we don’t cross breed,
and when we don’t, we master
the creation of rationalizations
and know, no, that it is a far worse
than the then of naked, pure, unlimited
desire.

ah.


we agree,
that changing my name
would be gracious,
efficacious,
hazardous, potentially
noxious and go back
to our laptops to
shed verbal tears.
Vulgarity holds a simple singularity
That seems to grip my brain steadfastly
I seem ignorant in my ranting tones
a child playing adult and acting rashly

Unbefitting of a lady to be emitting
The anger and simple roughness
Or unrefined lack of care
No need for acts of roughness

Sorry I didn't keep my promise
That I swear when you aren't near
I'm sorry for this disgusting course of action
I'm sorry mom for all the things you didn't hear
Stephanie Okoro Jul 2017
What has the world come to?
I travel upstream in the world looking for peace but I'm unable to find it,
I run to the north, I see killing.
I run to the east, I see hatred.
I run to the south, I see racism.
And finally I run to the west and I see discrimination.

Where shall I go now?
The world has been sheltered with dishonesty, criminality and delinquency.
There is no escape, it's a prison now.
Love has faded,
Peace has vanished,
And honesty has disappeared.

I'm tired of people jumping into conclusions,
I'm drained of seeing disturbing actions,
I'm jaded of hearing unbefitting appelations,
I'm tired...
But there are no solutions
Humanity has been corrupted
Even if it's unwanted.

Every night I close my eyes
and hope to wake up in a tranquil world
But everyday my hope weakens more
as I wake up to the exact same heartless world.

I dream that hatred would abandon the world
and peace would be welcomed.
If we could learn how to love, we would solve every single problem.
you may say it's just a dream
But that dream will not be just a dream if everyone could make it a goal

How shall we ever restore humanity if everyone keeps on building their own paradise by destroying other people's paradise.

Let's not just sit and watch
Let's improve,
Let us make it a better place.
This poem is about things that has been happening in the world lately.
The tide knows her claim—unchallenged, certain.

Her song hums through the mist, calling all to surrender. Death answers—silent, unwavering. Her dutiful servant. He walks where shadows lean, where breath falters, where neither fear nor sorrow can speak.

Steady. Composed. Indifferent. The sea whispers no doubt into him. He does not falter. He does not waver. He does not ask questions. He does not hesitate. For he is her perfect servant.

And yet—

There, beneath the surface, an annotation—unexpected, unnatural. A body does not sink. A figure rises.

𝐀 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞.


Not the drowning girl. She sank as fate decreed, obedient to the current's pull. But the imposter—how does he breathe? How does he surface?

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐚’𝐬 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞?


Fate did not write this. Fate does not err. Fate does not twist what is certain.
But there he stands. Dragging that girl from the tide, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧.

But it is no matter. For death does not falter. He does not waver. He does not ask questions. He does not hesitate. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭.

Yet—

His steps slow. 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐩 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐭.
Not fear. Not doubt. Not hesitation—no, no, he does not hesitate.
For that would be a 𝐥𝐢𝐞. An 𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 in the telling. A 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 in the verse.

He moves forward, as he always has. He reaches, as he always will. He takes. As he 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭.

And yet—

His fingers release without command. His breath lingers without reason.
How foolish. How utterly unbefitting of death.

And yet—


The stranger blocks his path. Defies the tide. Speaks in a voice fate has never written.
The stranger does not belong here. Not among the shore. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲.

And yet—

He stands. Unmoved. Undrowned. Unbroken. 𝐃𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲.
A mistake. A parasite. 𝐀 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞.

And yet—

He stands. 𝐀𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐦.

What a reckless intrusion.


Death looms, shadowed and certain. His gaze does not waver. His grip does not loosen. He does not hesitate. He does not wait. 𝐇𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤.

Except—

The stranger watches him. Knows him. Sees through him. He tilts his head, 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭.

"𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘨𝘢𝘻𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺."

Lies. Deception. Twisted words from a voice fate does not recognize.

"𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚."

The command is 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥. It 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 be obeyed.

And yet—

The stranger does not obey. He does not cower. He does not fear. 𝐇𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐚.

Instead—

He 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬. Softly. Gently.
As if death is an equal. 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞.
How insolent.


"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦."

The stranger’s voice carries no force, no malice, no challenge. And yet—it cleaves through the silence like a blade.

But it is no matter, for fate does not write hesitation into death. Fate does not allow uncertainty to linger in his grasp.

Yet—

Death’s fingers do not close around his throat. The traitor’s breath does not vanish.

No, he does not waver. He does not question. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭.

"𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚, 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚."

The command is 𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐞. The voice sharp. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥.

And yet—

The stranger does not move. Does not flinch. 𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝.

"𝘓𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘦."

He watches. Studies. Understands something that fate insists 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭.

𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫. 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭.  

And yet—


"𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦, 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩."

𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐩, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫.

𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰. 𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬. A fool’s defiance. A voice drowned in 𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.

Fate does not falter. Fate does not bend. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭.

Except—

He still does not take Alcyone’s soul. He stands. He waits. He listens.

How foolish. How utterly unbefitting of death.

And yet—

"𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒄𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍."

A 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞. A law written into the tides themselves. There is no room for hesitation.

But then—

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐬.


Softly. 𝐀𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫.

"𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘯𝘰. 𝘍𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩. 𝘉𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘖𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘤𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘦𝘸. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳…


𝘈 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨. 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯."


The words cleave through certainty. Through inevitability. Through death’s understanding—no, no, there is nothing to understand. 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞. No, no. That can’t be right. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭.

When death hears those words, 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐑𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.

“…𝙄’𝙢 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮. 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠."

And yet—

𝐇𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥’𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥.


"𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘈𝘭𝘤𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴."

𝐀 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤. 𝐀 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐲. 𝐀 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.

And yet—

Death does not refute. Does not impose. Does not take. 𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞.

How foolish. How utterly impossible.

And yet—

"…𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙙?"

He speaks. He commands. He threatens. He claims.

Not a question. No hesitation. Never the breaking of certainty.

"𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴?"

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Silence lingers. Tension stretches. 𝐀 𝐩𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭.

Ah, but not hesitation. No. Death is silent in an act of defiance. He knows the imposter 𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬.

"…𝙂𝙤 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣."



The imposter smiles with false appreciation and turns to that pathetic, shivering, cowardly girl’s soul. Daring to turn his back on the servant, death. What a foolish decision. It is for this which death has waited, to take him by surprise!

"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘵."

Yet—

The imposter still speaks! Still lives! That useless servant still watches in silence!

The Sea stirs. Seethes. 𝐑𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧.

"𝖨 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗅𝖾𝗍 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗆𝖾! 𝖨 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗇𝗈 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗇, 𝗇𝗈 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁, 𝗇𝗈 𝖿𝖺𝗍𝖾! 𝖨 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗌𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖼𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝗎𝗇𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌𝖾—𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝗈𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖢𝖾𝗒𝗑!"

Alcyone’s voice is firm. 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬. More certain than The Tide permits.

And yet—

"𝘐𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘵? 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘨𝘦?"

𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧. 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐩. 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡.

Except—

Alcyone hesitates. Recalls. Knows.

And yet—

"𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗏𝖾𝖽!?"

"𝘛𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳."


The word lingers, 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞’𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞.

"𝘈𝘭𝘤𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘦𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘺. 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘍𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

Fate rejects the empty promise. 𝐑𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞.

"𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥. 𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦."

𝐋𝐢𝐞𝐬. Foolishness. Impossibility.

And yet—

Alcyone’s soul listens. Pulses with consideration.

“𝖨 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖾𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝖨 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖾𝖺𝗇. 𝖳𝗎𝗋𝗇 𝗆𝖾 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗋𝖽? 𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗉𝗈𝗐𝖾𝗋 𝖽𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖽? 𝖠𝗋𝖾𝗇’𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖺 𝗆𝖺𝗇? 𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎?”

"𝘕𝘰, 𝘈𝘭𝘤𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵, 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥. 𝘓𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸.

𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦.

𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘦𝘢’𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦."



Before the traitor and the tern’s departure— Before the flight beyond Fate’s grasp, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 turns—

To death. To hesitation. To silence.

"𝘞𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯?"

That useless servant does not refute him. Does not command The Tide to reclaim him. Does not move.

"𝑬𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒐𝒓 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒂 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒎𝒆. 𝑰…𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕."

How foolish. How utterly impossible.

He has no preferences. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞’𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭, 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲, 𝐝𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭.

And yet—



Lies! Lies! Lies! A twisting of the story. A defiance against what was written. 𝐀 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝.

This is wrong. This is unacceptable. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞’𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥!


He should not wait. He should act. He should take. He should impose. He should force. He should reap the soul before him, before it flees beyond his grasp.

And yet—

He does not.

A mistake. A betrayal. 𝐀 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐚’𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞.

The stranger does not falter. Does not fear the wrath pressing upon him. 𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲!

Instead—

He leaves. He carries her away. 𝐇𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

And death—

Waits.

And yet—

The Sea cannot reclaim him. Cannot tear him from the shore. Cannot 𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡’𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐲.

Why?

Why can he hesitate? Why can he allow defiance to stand? Why can he let them go?

He should punish. He should impose. He should act.

And yet—

That useless servant waits. For something unknown. For something unspeakable. For something supposedly forgotten. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭!

But The Tide pulls—

And death—waits.

The Tide pulls. The Sea calls. The weight presses upon him.

And yet—

That useless servant does not take. Does not move. Does not impose.

How foolish. How utterly impossible.

And yet—


𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐝. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞’𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥.


That useless servant should have struck them down. Should have obeyed what was written. Should have taken the soul marked for burden.

And yet—

The burden lingers! The weight remains! Not upon the girl. Not upon the stranger.

Upon 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡.

This cannot be! This cannot stand! This cannot— But he waits. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐡𝐢𝐦.

He hesitated. He faltered. He questioned.

No! No! 𝐍𝐨!

He waits. He should wait for punishment. Yet he waits for revelation. For something unknown. 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭!

The Tide commands! The Waves pull! The Sea roars in fury!

And yet—

That 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐭 waits!


𝐇𝐨𝐰. 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐇𝐞. 𝐃𝐞𝐟𝐲. 𝐌𝐞.
The voice has been ever present. But here, in the seventh realization upon 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑊𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑊𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔, it is finally heard.

Oh, but I better be careful what I say. For it was never written. According to Fate, it should have never happened. And yet...

Do you think she would punish this omniscient witness?

— The End —