I want that typa relationship
That pinky swear typa relationship.
That "you hang up, No you hang up."
That speaking as 3rd person type of relationship. That "Lefa is not talking you." Typa relationship.
Lol, that "I'm never talking to you, I'm still mad," but yet remind me every 10 minutes that you still mad at me.
That relationship when you dead mad at me and still bring me a blanket cos I'm cold.
I want that relationship.
That "Babe how do I look?"; "Wow babe, God must've been showing off when he created you", typa relationship.
I wan't you...
You're my typa relationship.

I grew up on a farm
Happy smiling childhoods
Running to & fro with the cows
My very best friends
Little did I know
This would soon end

I moved to the city
While singing a ditty
I was pretty sad
But I knew that here, fun was to be had

I bought an apartment
But I reminisce about the farm still
Oh boy do I miss it
Enough to ****

I still dream about the farm
So one day I took a visit trip
I saw the cows again
My thoughts were running wild like snip snip

Oh boy the farm is fun
Just like the rays of a sun
I recommend you try it
Before you forget to try it

Dude i have no clue
no ******* idea...
why i continue to fantasize about chue....
idk...
what is it...
like 8th grade...
you...
the memory
continues...
after these past 2 years i still fantasize about you
....and i cant picture you accepting me...
for who i am
i can't
....like
when i picture you
...like i have to be o some mila kunis, megan fox, kim k typa ****...
its like i have to be this trophy in order to keep attention
...its like i knew you liked me
....and it was an interesting attatchment ill say....
but...
i guess it wasnt meant to be
i was looking for a **** buddy back then
and so were you
we were 8th ******* graders
i was immature af....
i didnt know **** tbh...
i was an air head...
who only cared about boys, popularity, friends, and herself...
i was a ***** lowkey
i wanted to be on top...
of the world
...of that school
...of him lol
but i was on the inside
...insecure
but he made me...
he fooled me
..into thinking he was securing me
....like ****
i was a fool
and i was def crushin on em
but now....
its really embarassing to think about
like....****
***
was 8th...the ****
ya know
that whole shabang
was really messin up
and im done with that past
pretending...
insecurity..
attention..
like....
i am over that
you were real to at the time
i was insecure looking for someone to clench on to
keep me up
motivate me
....but you did the opposite
you were like a demon in disguise
...no offense
i mean at the time speaking
but i dont want to cringe...
when i see a pretty *** girl
i dont need to pretend to be "pretty"
nor what you want
nor be that *****
because im not
...im so much more
....like....****
im done living a life in the shadows
a hidden life
my life...is what is what it is
take it...
leave it
i dont care
you are gone
im never gonna see you ever again
but i mean im sorry we couldnt be friends
but the tide
the flows gotta flow
ive gotta go
take ****
and ill keep it in the toilet...lets say that

it was a tuesday afternoon, in the middle of june,
this barternder and blue moon will surely be my demise..
Its become a routine, every week im a fiend but suddenly to my surprise...

A woman walked in standing at 5'4, seeemingly hungover and beat.
Eyeliner & lipstick fading..lookin as if she couldnt find sleeep,
her hair has half *****, half curly and partly braided.
she sat on the stool next to me partly *** what i stated...
I said "welcome! take a seat, this is the sober section, besides. all the good seats are taken".
She smiled, more like a smirk, then proceeded to sit, at first oddly looking a bit shaken..

i noticed she was young, pobably barely 21, and she had a tattoo on her back, as she reached for her purse...
Clearly i didnt kno her origin, but an idea i was formin, especially when her art read, 'beauty is a curse'...
Clearly she was gorgeous. Green eyes with a brown complexion..
I asked her in awe which town she was sent from?..

She said she was from the bay..
grew up in her mommas house but now shes living with her bae,
I said oh word, whos the lucky man who gets to keep you???.
She said God......
*** she doesnt need to mess with people.

what brings her here,?
in this bar by the pier,
where theres something in the beer, making normal people fear.

She said she came to spread the word of God....
immediately i figure shes a fraud.

Hows a 'martini, piercing on her lip, tattooed from her back to her hip,
looking like she wont tip....'
typa girl claiming to be holy?

She smiled, more like smirk, and whispered,........
you dont even know me.

And proceeded to say she came in this bar because there was a presence of a demon in disguise..

I laughed are u sure it isn't just u?
She held up a mirror. I saw a demon in my eyes.





-afj

Time to get untop
Been drug down
and stepped on
im untop now
and your being smashed on
Use to say my **** was alright
Now you callin me every night
I get my **** hard
cause you bout to break my bed board
your *** so fat it looks like a fat kids face stuffed with cake
and **** can you make dat *** shake
its almost terrifying like that anaconda typa snake
so yeah im smokin and ashin on your back and them ****** jigglin
So they ain't fake
for gods sake
For gods sake for gods sake

Prayin for a snow day,
a lay at home day.
drinkin hot cocoa, bumpin some old Drake.
like "come winter"
and hope it comes we do!
pimpin season is over
i jus wanna lay here with you.
we know its not that serious,
talkin from experience.
this thing'll probably last a couple months,
maybe a few.
But im down to make it somethin
unforgettable
incredible
typa winter u throw up on a pedastool.
Till just after Valentines,
hear the last romantic chimes.
and pimpin seasons back on,
then you cant be mine,
and neither of us would mind.
at least,
I hope to find.

Mama used to describe love as such a beautiful thing
That when I fall in love, I should feel happy and safe
That one day the man of my dreams will buy me a ring
And when he proudly hands over his last name, there should be no other female in the whole world he would rather claim
And when I thought I found such a lovely thing
I truly thought I was in love, but then I started hurting
I had no typa freedom, didn’t experience any typa love
My days felt like they were becoming longer, perhaps even colder.
I obeyed his rules, or else I was punished. I prayed I wouldn’t get beat
He saw the tears form in my eyes and roll down my face
He leaned in to kiss me, as my body froze over
He cried as he said he was sorry and that it was love
That it was love who took over.
That he had to punish me because he loves me
That it was love!
He said this love was destined, and how I could never leave his side because the connection we had, that it just had to be fate. But I felt that I was slowly dying on the inside.
I was in pain, physically and emotionally
I couldn’t tell anyone what just happened. Nothing of what hes done
Im going into shock, mentally drained.
But he held our hands tightly together
Spoke gently into my ears and said, babygirl it will all be fine
This love we have, its gonna last forever
I thought to myself… forever? This love… was gonna last FOREVER?
And it was as if he could hear all my thoughts, he said
Forever baby, this love is forever ever.
Mama didn’t tell me bout this part of love!
No one told me about this part of love!
I didn’t know this was part of love… because my body was aching, some parts bruising
It was as if I was locked up, my true emotions were always contained
I swear im slowly going crazy, I think possibly falling in love
I started falling in love with the man who had me mentally restrained
I didn’t find the love mama was talking about
But- I think maybe I found one even better
The stockholm syndrome typa love

daddy was a lot of woman typa man

mama was fast
a one night stand

drugs; they had in common
crack was in demand

heard he was crazy, so she ran

I fell from hell

wasn't given no hand

I got up anyway
*and tall I stand

Disposable likes

Dispensable loves

I wish I could throw it all away.

Somebody tell all these recyclable guys
To step down from their endless pride
and just be sustainable- but reusable for later

Reducible heartbreaks

Reprized 'I love you's'

I wish there was a safe way to get rid of our minds.

Without polluting everything around our youth
Because none of us want our children knowing
That one day they might be susceptible to that typa thing...

The world would be such a better place if we didn't waste

Maybe if we all knew

Sometimes we need to dispose of things the right way;
Instead of putting in on top of another pile-

It would be.