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Jet Nov 24
i hate loving you
youre entitled to everything without knowing
entitled to my happiness
entitled to controlling my feelings
entitled to my love
i hate loving you

because youre entitled to so much but can leave in one second

i hate loving you cause ill never stop loving you
Jet Nov 10
Welcome to AA. Also known as Addicts anonymous
Well, hi I’m Jetzael, and I have an addictive personality. But you can call me jet. It started about 4 years ago with small things.
You know, from the things I ate to the seats I took.
But then my addictive personality escalated to people. But let me explain to you how my addiction with people worked… or works.
Itll start of by needing to take a glance at you. That would fulfill my high. Then I needed a simple hello until I needed a hug, a conversation, lunch every day, a seat next to you, it never stopped! My addiction with you never stopped, it just kept growing.
And when my high wore off, you didn’t get out of my head. What were you doing? Were you happy? Did you need something? Are you mad, sad, frustrated? Are you okay? … am I okay?
All I could ever think about, was you.
And we all know here, addictions never end in a good high.
So it got to the point where my questions turned from were you okay? To was I ever gonna be.
I went through the withdrawal. All alone. All the restless tearful nights until I got high again. Not by you though. But her name was oxycodone, with her friends Percocet and codeine.
They became my best friends. They always distracted me from you until I got tired of them, because you… pff… you gave me highs that codeine could never. But then came along all the restless, nauseous, and chilly nights until they all got out of my system. Why? Because I was growing an addiction for you… again. Would you still like me this way? Would you support my ways? But the one question that kept me up all night was, did you still love me?
At least just a little bit?
But then my old home-girl came through, Maryjane. And numbed my mind away from all the questions and thoughts that existed about you.
She would smoke me out every day, before the sun was even two minutes into his 12-hour shift.
We would be numb the whole day so I never had the chance of thinking about you. Couple of months went by, but if you wanna be exact, my addictive personality could tell you how many months, days, hours, minutes and seconds it was. But that’s unnecessary.
I mean, all my highs were starting to let me forget your scent, touch, words, even your face.
But then you crossed me again, and all those things I thought I forgot about you, rushed back into my head faster than any other drug that existed.
So here I am again, craving highs, not from oxy, perc, codeine or marijuana,
but from you.
Growing an addiction for someone is can be worse than an addiction for a drug.
Jet Nov 10
Mama used to describe love as such a beautiful thing
That when I fall in love, I should feel happy and safe
That one day the man of my dreams will buy me a ring
And when he proudly hands over his last name, there should be no other female in the whole world he would rather claim
And when I thought I found such a lovely thing
I truly thought I was in love, but then I started hurting
I had no typa freedom, didn’t experience any typa love
My days felt like they were becoming longer, perhaps even colder.
I obeyed his rules, or else I was punished. I prayed I wouldn’t get beat
He saw the tears form in my eyes and roll down my face
He leaned in to kiss me, as my body froze over
He cried as he said he was sorry and that it was love
That it was love who took over.
That he had to punish me because he loves me
That it was love!
He said this love was destined, and how I could never leave his side because the connection we had, that it just had to be fate. But I felt that I was slowly dying on the inside.
I was in pain, physically and emotionally
I couldn’t tell anyone what just happened. Nothing of what hes done
Im going into shock, mentally drained.
But he held our hands tightly together
Spoke gently into my ears and said, babygirl it will all be fine
This love we have, its gonna last forever
I thought to myself… forever? This love… was gonna last FOREVER?
And it was as if he could hear all my thoughts, he said
Forever baby, this love is forever ever.
Mama didn’t tell me bout this part of love!
No one told me about this part of love!
I didn’t know this was part of love… because my body was aching, some parts bruising
It was as if I was locked up, my true emotions were always contained
I swear im slowly going crazy, I think possibly falling in love
I started falling in love with the man who had me mentally restrained
I didn’t find the love mama was talking about
But- I think maybe I found one even better
The stockholm syndrome typa love
Sometimes, its not that they cant leave, its that they dont want to. its crazy how love works
Jet Nov 10
life is the worshiped lie
death is the hideous truth
in between lies the untouchable skies
where death awaits for you
Jet Nov 10
earbuds in
volume set to max
faces go blurry
as everything fades away, I put on my mask
Jet Nov 10
enamorate de ti misma
y tendras un romance para el resto de tu vida
un amor eterno
  Oct 22 Jet
Styles
Ever since I felt you;
I rather not live
if l have to live without you
me forgetting you
is doubtful
my feelings for you
are more than just a mouthful
you are the reason
love, at first sight, was so insightful
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