Mama used to describe love as such a beautiful thing
That when I fall in love, I should feel happy and safe
That one day the man of my dreams will buy me a ring
And when he proudly hands over his last name, there should be no other female in the whole world he would rather claim
And when I thought I found such a lovely thing
I truly thought I was in love, but then I started hurting
I had no typa freedom, didn’t experience any typa love
My days felt like they were becoming longer, perhaps even colder.
I obeyed his rules, or else I was punished. I prayed I wouldn’t get beat
He saw the tears form in my eyes and roll down my face
He leaned in to kiss me, as my body froze over
He cried as he said he was sorry and that it was love
That it was love who took over.
That he had to punish me because he loves me
That it was love!
He said this love was destined, and how I could never leave his side because the connection we had, that it just had to be fate. But I felt that I was slowly dying on the inside.
I was in pain, physically and emotionally
I couldn’t tell anyone what just happened. Nothing of what hes done
Im going into shock, mentally drained.
But he held our hands tightly together
Spoke gently into my ears and said, babygirl it will all be fine
This love we have, its gonna last forever
I thought to myself… forever? This love… was gonna last FOREVER?
And it was as if he could hear all my thoughts, he said
Forever baby, this love is forever ever.
Mama didn’t tell me bout this part of love!
No one told me about this part of love!
I didn’t know this was part of love… because my body was aching, some parts bruising
It was as if I was locked up, my true emotions were always contained
I swear im slowly going crazy, I think possibly falling in love
I started falling in love with the man who had me mentally restrained
I didn’t find the love mama was talking about
But- I think maybe I found one even better
The stockholm syndrome typa love
Sometimes, its not that they cant leave, its that they dont want to. its crazy how love works