October, 27, 2017 (Friday)*

Flying down the open empty road, unaware of the surprise attack waiting for us ahead as we continued to drive.

My eyes set on the left side of the road, low like the cold temperature of the wind who's warmth couldn't be revived

A light breath of snowflakes swept over the road like floating silk as my eyes were stolen for a moment by a small feathered creature

Closed up like a rabbit in it's hollow, frozen like fish trapped in a sheet of ice, trembling like death was its new teacher

It was only a blink of a moment I saw it, and a gap of years seemed to rotate around this trap of love

"Mom.. I think that was an owl..." I said with my voice almost in a whispering disbelief. My hand giving her arm a wheel turning shove

"What should we do?" She said as if I was the higher authority. I turned my head to look back, in the opposite direction of the car.

"Turn around..." My mind got into a conflict with those words... I'd be late for work... That didn't worry me, even though we weren't that far...

I didn't know how much longer the animal of sky and flight could handle the harshness of Octobers cold shoulder.

I felt her foot slowly increase it's pressure onto the brakes, her small stormy Toyota turning around, being forced to submit to her.

Approaching slowly, the road was surprisingly empty and alone.  My pupils motionless as they starred

For a minute I believed the lies that I was being an idiot. My mind was tricked into thinking it was a small thick branch with many lairs.

But the truth screamed louder than the wind's howl as shards of ice and snow caused it's feathers to **** outward

To shield his small fragile body. My mind went blank, amazed to be able to steal this opportunity, the car slowly moved downward

Into a gravel driveway, that rested next to a stand. I removed my pink hoodie and inserted myself into the dangers of being alone

Begging and praying in my head to my Lord for guidance, I crossed the wide road, my soul knowing who was in control

  I crept behind the railing and as quickly and quietly as possible I approached it.

Numbed to my existence. It's head in a stage of black and deathly hibernation, I could see it's dying spirit

Lightly, I tossed the bright magenta hoodie over it like a net. A little hop was it's only reaction

I swung my legs over the railing and carefully surrounded it with my hoodie and hands, longing to show it passion.

But it's little strong black claws  fearfully grasped onto the cracks in the road. Like a hook trapped within the jaws of a fish.

I could feel nothing... Only the loud threatening heart beats within me, giving my bangs a swish.

With the steady guidance of patience, my shaking fingers removed his terrifying grip, and quickly swaddled him.

I carried him like a newborn infant as I cautiously recrossed the road, feeling my soul has met natures grim.

We both inserted ourselves into the heat blasting automobile, my mother gasped when she saw the little feathered screech owl cradled in my arms

Still trapped by hibernation's drug. I held him close to the heated vents,  hoping that life will be surrendered to the side of the warm.

His feathers were in several shades of tree bark brown, he had two little feathered peaks that looked like horns to a crown

Softer then even the silkiest chinchilla,  his eyes were closed, but within minutes, only the eye lashes of his right eye flickered around

Suddenly, time revolved around the neck of him, for he turned his head right towards me, and his right eye of sun bursting glow revealed its self to me.

My blood stopped pumping, my lungs shut down, my heart trapped in ice, my eyes making contact with his, feeling like a ship lost at sea.

One of Nature's King of the sky finally awakened, but what was his next move? For these little beast were proud and protective over their bodies

Where their wings have soared over, they claim as theirs, They have used their beaks and claws as weapons against my kind. They have been given the label of being naughty.  

Was I it's next victim? Was this choice a blood dripping trap? Was adoring my Lord's creation a mistake?

The Lord brought this little one in my path for a reason, how can I doubt His plan? For this moment, He wanted me to take.

It's round smooth moving head looked to the left, and then to the right, and then back at me, it's little eye blinking, and very tired

It jumped! But jumped closer into me. It's white and light brown feathered chest against mine. It's head cuddled right into my fingers like a tangled wire.

Softly and lightly I petted it's super soft silky small head, seeing his one eye going into a happy squint.

It only cuddled more and more, demanding more of this sweet affection. His eye gave me that hint

Soon, he started to wander around on my legs, exploring all of this high technology unknown to nature

Flew about a few times to test and experience the ways of human beings, his wings stretched out and soared like sliding glaciers

Once we approached our destination of a recuse center, his curiosity grew as he bonked his head against the dashboard window. The poor thing!

He looked at me, feeling shameful, and filled with stupidity as he flew to my lower arm, and then my elbow that was up high. He nested into it like a king.

He remained there and studied me, his eye never looking away. My soul was at peace until it lashed open it's left eye. My sight got drilled

It was only for an image of a second that I saw that bright red, dark purple, and indigo eye. His left eye was blood filled.

He quickly closed it and snuggled closer to my chest. I felt a hollow part of me being revealed and filled with grace

It's funny how the Lord planned everything out, how he allowed me to experience this sweet heart capturing moment of this wild owl's gentle face.

My Hallow, the name suits you well. For it was an honor for our Holy creator to allow me to interact with the forest beast of flight

A hollow part of me was realized and filled. A desire, a new way to make my Creator made known... through your opposite personality of fight

Permanently blind in your right eye, but your spirit is still sweet and calm to only me. Yours wings still spread like the wide flames of a wild fire

Your unique different colored eyes beaming with adorable sweet love. But also determination that is deep and dire.

You're small, but even our God used David to defeat Goliath. You're an animal, but God used a Donkey to lead Balaam away from danger!

You may not be normal again, but the Lord can still use you, for He has used you and many other animals in my life, although I was a stranger

Hallow, the Blood Filled Eye Screech Owl, I won't allow this lesson to be stolen from me, the lesson of freedom, wisdom, and trust.

The Lord will call us to do the craziest, weirdest, most unbelievable things at times. We shouldn't let these test turn to dust

and if the Lord called me to do something like this again...

*I'd do it in a heart beat...

As you breath,
With trapped lungs,
Like a fly caught,
In the silkiest of webs.
Her manifold shell,
Multiple eyes of harrowing,
A succubus to the harmless,
dampening a gentle candle lit,
In sheer darkness.

******* on our blood,
Like a hundred leaches,
Her nature thicker than mud.
Fluid runs smooth,
like ash and water,
but she stains your heart,
in gray poisonous matter,
Using you like puppet on strings,
from the very start.

She hides behind the lies,
That she fills within your head,
like a hot air balloon,
soaring through skies,
Unaware of what's below,
Avoid prickly skinned women,
They'll eat you alive.

Desires vs. Reality*
4/14/2014

Things are starting to look up a bit.
Or rather, *I'm starting to look up a bit.
Things are still bad.
There's no changing that.
But I'm beginning to notice that not all the world is filled with such chaos.
I mean, I've always believed that there was good out there.
But I suppose I've never truly believed that there was good here.
In this town.
In these walls.
In me.

However, now I see that I've got potential.
But that's it, for now.
Potential.

I want, so badly, to be able to paint like Millais.
I want, so badly, to write like Sylvia Plath.
I want, so badly, to explore, and be ever so determined and inspired, as Darwin.
I want, so badly, to dazzle and dance across the screen, like Hayworth and Astaire.
But, alas, I can do none of these things.

I am just a girl. Nothing special. Least not to anyone else.

I cannot be what I long to be, and it breaks my heart.
I cannot paint, or dance, or sing-
but I can breathe!
and live!
and write!
Though maybe no good at all, by God, I will write!
For nothing stirs my soul like the dragging of my pen across the page.
And by God, nothing stirs my soul like the heat of those stage lights, and fifty eyes on upon me.

I may not be who I dream to be, but ****** I will continue to be until the stars pluck me from the Earth and dance with me.

Until my feet are lifted off the Earth, and I'm carried on clouds to Jupiter.
Or Venus.
Or Saturn.

And there, I shall sing with Cobain and Strummer!
And I shall laugh with Monroe and Hepburn!
And I shall write with Bukowski and Thompson!
And I shall dance with Charisse and Gene Kelly!
And I shall dine with a thousand queens, and lay in the silkiest of sheets!

But until then, I shall simply live.

I shall live a life devoted to words, and I promise to write whenever inspired, and dance whenever music plays, and sing, as loudly as I please, simply because I can.
And I promise to never promptly believe unknown truths.
And I promise to be kind to the universe.

And lastly, I promise to live,
and breathe,
and be,
because,
well,
the universe does indeed have plans for me.


Copyright © *2014 Scarlet Van Allen