"humouring" poems
I have always loved you.
I imagine us 30 years down the road.
I am massaging your shoulders,
relieving knots.
Life gets me in knots too.
I've put the kettle on
I have my own key now so I come and go as I please
like the old friend I've become.
I feed your cat when you go away at weekends.
Smelling your pillow
Remembering you at 40.
Your dressing table
as I pictured it.
I have my own family now
but I met you 10 years before I met my wife.
I rode the wave of your smile,
came crashing down
the day you announced you'd met someone,
holding out for the real thing.
For; I was just a boy,
what could I deliver apart from newspapers
and the odd dodgy innuendos? you laughed at
tossing your hair.
Humouring me
but,
Never letting on that you cared.
I slip away every second night
when the second hand rests between the 8 and the 9
and it is quarter to 10.
I am on my way to see you.
We play cards and toast a drink into midnight.
Sometimes I reach for your delicately aged hand
twiddling with your rings,
knowing mine would have been the sparkly one.
But not a patch on you.
We lock eyes for around a minute,
My throat is dry.
Telepathically I tell you
I have always loved you.
Whether you are 45 or 75
I will always love you.
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014 at 10:43 PM UTC
we're a child
then the world intimidating us
so we became adult
we're an adult
then the world humouring us
so we keep becoming adult
the child is sleeping inside
the child is sleeping inside
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 6:39 PM UTC
Soft shelter
I urge your preternatural
brigades of perspective
to ground my resignation
in some hypothetical
formation of inclined leisure
If I'm treading mere chance
in my hope then I urge you
not to simply humour me with
sly tomorrows assuring
optimism in the brittle molts
of days shrinking to reveal
solar aspirations
I'll turn my back
to the broken weather like
a naked sibling
There is nothing humourous
in humouring
though I've taken it
in self-destructive perpetuity
Tie me to the rack of realism
like Odysseus before the Sirens
I'll sigh and swallow
yet another new medication
one for soft shelter
in compounded sleep
where perspectives hide
and the chemicals of moods
long dismantled
congregate behind blindfolds of
destiny's clumsy executioners
May 24, 2014
May 24, 2014 at 10:40 PM UTC
Awake in the night
and who to call?
The one owl
watches my soul.
It knows silence
Like I know words
it knows smiling
humouring my slurs
Shoo it off I may
With my five fingertips
A stretched hand
once open, now stands.
Denial is funny
the river that never lies
slowly eroding, quietly
painfully clarifies.
Lifetimes and lifetimes
the truth floats by
caressing that simple answer
over the lids of my eyes.
Open them I mustn't
refusing so much to see
Once the water rushes in
there will be nothing left of me.
Nov 17, 2012
Nov 17, 2012 at 9:39 AM UTC
Blood dripping from these fresh cuts.
Laying next to me the knife responsible for this heinous act.
Only suicidal thoughts run through my mind.
Oozing blood trickles steadily towards the floor.
Desperation to end my life seen in my eyes.
Devastating pain I feel as I pull the knife down my arm again.
Reminiscing the past as I lay in a pool of blood.
Evil pumping through my veins.
Neglecting the choice to live my life.
Choosing suicide over living a life of pain.
Humouring myself as I laugh at my cuts.
Enduring the sacrifices I am making.
Difficult times of my life ending this very night.
Knives and blades sticking out from my skin.
No remorse I will for taking my life.
Infectious thought running wild with my emotions.
Fighting these demons in life ends now.
Ending my life with suicide as I slit my throat.
Feb 27, 2011
Feb 27, 2011 at 8:36 PM UTC
This old heart of mine
is a veritable mine
of experiences:
joy, sorrow and raw passion
compassion on some occasion
This old heart of mine
has served me true and faithful
humouring my every mood
with percussion sublime and varied:
slow and dignified beats for prayer and devotion
fast and furious when I must flee some terror
joyful and expectant when she passed by
chaotic and bewildered when I'm discarded
This old heart of mine
has seen me through times hard and easy
I begin to take her for granted
Though there's a price to pay
For, certainly, one of these days she'll beat no more
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 9, 2015 at 9:06 AM UTC
There's an question in my head
The answer is always whispered back
Always no
Love is consistency
Knowing what's right
And settling for nothing less
Not giving up
Not humouring a fallacy
Or cradling a lie
It's a battle always
But the other side of love is never the same
A state of constant change
And when it's at its weakest
Is when love can then take over
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 8:43 AM UTC
She was always humouring me
to prevent trouble
without humour perhaps
the world may be burnt out.
Mar 10, 2016
Mar 10, 2016 at 3:06 AM UTC
I am female
I keep boys under my skin
they think they think
they’re
right deep under my skin
but my skin is deeper than
the fault lines
that carry love waves
and I like it that way
-
You know me, you love me
you care for me
sometimes
-
I do too, humouring
those that are lost in my flesh now
swimming in my blood stream
tunnelling through my veins
when really I just want to
rip apart yours
Oct 19, 2014
Oct 19, 2014 at 2:46 PM UTC
You destroyed me with one simple look
Eyes collide and the universe empties itself out
Floating in ether with stare unblinking
Who will back out first I wonder
The game we play is a dangerous one
You make the rules and I move along
Addicted to you I follow blindly
Into this dangerous path you trace for me
I wonder how you knew
That humouring me would be the way in
And I cannot get you out
I cannot push you away
From the little nest in my heart where you stay
Planning your way in
Deeper and deeper in
The lights are blinking furiously
Sending alarms across my body
But I am tuned to you I don't want to hear
The alarm ringing I'm addicted, I fear
Do not trick me into loving you
You know I'll be hurt if you do
Take that chance and jump aboard
On the crazy train we ride abroad
In a country where I am no longer afraid
To say the words that hurt me before
Give me faith
Don't let me down
I don't know if I can handle
Being left again this time around
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 3:41 PM UTC