"dreadfulness" poems
Rest in peace willow of the nest
My condolences for such dreadfulness
I did not mean for the sun to neglect you
I did not mean for your leaves to abandon you
Forgive me, dear willow of the nest
Forsaken by all the living
****** by such dreary darkness.
Dear willow tree,
No longer will I burden thee
When your seeds begin to grow
I hope that you know
Your new life will intertwine with my death
And with my last breath I’ll curse you with my sorrow
You won’t see me tomorrow
Past the pain of now’s goodbyes
Please tell me why, oh why!
Dear willow of the nest
Do you think pondering such revenge is best?
Trade your soul in for new branches instead of
Sleeping in the maggots that fill your trunk bed
Meanwhile,
lingering upon the magic tops of neighboring trees are new seeds
They shall bring with them bold opportunities,
Their company shall bloom gardens
They shall dance in the wind while summoning a thousand pardons
For they shall not be the ones to fill your empty nest
That once carried in it a hopeful wish, at best.
Every last piece of me has dispersed into the universe
Never again shall they come together
Never again shall I be whole
You can grow old with your new endeavor
While I create art with my soul.
Goodbye, my beloved willow tree of the nest
You were a fantasy; a courter; a lover;
A whimsical romance, at best.
Mar 11, 2011
Mar 11, 2011 at 7:40 PM UTC
As of lately, I've been lost in translation
in this transcended state of thought
every thought running into one another
Impeding on the clarity of my perception
Leaving me in a state of panic
Searching for something slightly out of reach
As the needle threads the weave
My mind entangles the threads into
a mass insanity of run on sentences
Leaving me nothing but breathless
Left in a state of weak existence
Wrapped within the roots of the
stem of my thoughts and they
grow into shadows of monsters
trying to break free from the dark
but they cannot reach the other side
The light, it seems much too far
to carry on. This train wreck
of distortion is slowly seeping
into my soul. Deafening the
voices at my beck and call
A tragic winding road of
memories keeps bringing me
right back to the same place
I just left and now I'm right
back where I started again
A streaming flowing river of
never-ending thoughts
Always escaping me
Just there long enough
to hold on to a string of words
that hardly make any sense
Am I dreaming or is this death?
I cannot recall ever lying down
on that bed. Resting my head
where all those demons dwell
The lump in my throat fiercely swells
and the smoke filled coughs mask my cries
Repairs the dreadfulness of my daily life
I cannot escape this restless mind
It won't let me rest, it won't power down
The switch is broken and I've lost my crown
along with all the jewels I once possessively possessed
My mind is wandering somewhere
and I haven't a clue when It's due back
© 2013 Christina Jackson
Jun 23, 2013
Jun 23, 2013 at 2:07 AM UTC
You still make your own bread
because it reminds you of your mother
working hard to feed her 10 children
during the dreadfulness of war, near the flaming stove
It reminds you of a time when things were anything but easy
When you had to save your meal for a scarcer time
When you woke up before the rooster's call
and prayed for your family's safety
When you realized just how much
burden and uncertainty your rib cage can carry
When you learned what strength really is
and how grief truly feels
When dehydration turned your tears into dust
When sleep was a luxury your worried eyes could not afford
When every new breath felt like a responsibility
and every water drop down your throat
felt like blessing you couldn't afford
You still make your own bread
I think people wonder why you want to remember such a painful time
But I understand you completely
Pain is the bitter flavor your taste buds are used to
It is the background music of your video
The idea of remembering the painful past
Is not to feel pain, it is to feel the joy within the pain
The flour taste remaining on your lips
after you voraciously devour the loaf of bread
The weight your thin arms learned how to carry
The look of appreciation your mother gave you
The sense of responsibility that made you feel needed
The sunrise that made you feel yet alive
The 5 minute snooze that gave you energy
The relief after tear-less cries
The prosperous smiles
And the loss of fears
You still make your own bread
It tastes terrible
But I love it endlessly
Apr 1, 2016
Apr 1, 2016 at 1:22 PM UTC
when time starts to slumber foward
a revealation too great to walk
perseverance spirals into a void
of confusion
depression
clocks tick backwards
but your mind wanderes in the future
a time in the future
a moment in the past
an hour of the present
the channeling of fate
sometimes everythings just perfect
the music is sweet to the soul
the body wants to move
a tear of joy
after winter is spring
the trees dance and the flowers smile
the spring sings songs of peace
silence in the loudest of heights
a time for dreadfulness
a time for raving
a time for serious thoughts
a time for plurfect
its good to not judge
acceptance of time as it is
peace is when you understand
you don't need to understand
a time for experiencing
a time for understanding
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 5:10 AM UTC
Sitting semi-sola on the cornerstone,
Next to unknown; destination: another home.
And in a moment of a day not so dreary with cofidence to loan,
I'd ask them to take me with them to not feel so alone.
But I didn't have happiness to borrow or loan,
So I sat still and quiet against the cornerstone.
I watched them ride away, feeling completely alone,
Watching them silently as they made their way home.
And in another moment where I had something to loan
Other than dreadfulness at the self-ignited idea of being alone
I'd ask them to take me to another cornerstone,
***** and dusty, but nevertheless a true home.
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 9:41 PM UTC
when time starts to slumber foward
a revealation too great to walk
perseverance spirals into a void
of confusion
depression
clocks tick backwards
but your mind wanderes in the future
a time in the future
a moment in the past
an hour of the present
the channeling of fate
sometimes everythings just perfect
the music is sweet to the soul
the body wants to move
a tear of joy
after winter is spring
the trees dance and the flowers smile
the spring sings songs of peace
silence in the loudest of heights
a time for dreadfulness
a time for raving
a time for serious thoughts
a time for plurfect
its good to not judge
acceptance of time as it is
peace is when you understand
you don't need to understand
a time for experiencing
a time for understanding
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 5:09 AM UTC
**Keep holding on to the light.
It never fully leaves when the moon rises.
But be aware of the shadows.
There’s a whole other world inside of them.
They drag you down and down.
Until you hit the bottom of your soul.
It’s cold and dark, an unknown existence.
You can never leave, it’s too late.
Stay like the weak wreck you are.
You’re not even trying to escape.
Do you give up that easy?
You’re a mess, an emotional mess.
Stop crying, it won’t help.
Stop shouting after your consciousness.
Free your soul from the fear.
Help, instead of being trapped inside of yourself.
Purify the darkness, let the moon rise once again.
Letting the light help you live.
But there’s a risk, the shadows.
They’re waiting, they’re hungry for a pathetic prey like you.**
*Stop keeping the circle of time in your life.
Leave it alone, before you fall into a pit of misery.
It’s dark down there, just like your soul.
It’s more lethal than ever; with walls painted with despair.*
**Eyes straining in the dark, searching after something usable.
Stay sane, if you can keep up with the twisted voices.
Don’t let them drag you deeper down.
Don’t let them manipulate you once again
A million worlds in one.
They’re all inside of me.
Screams filling my lungs, it’s ringing in my ears.
They’re controlling me from my blind side.
Keep up with the running tears,
The pain has gotten deeper.
The hatred is using me.
The fear is haunting me forever.
There’s a hole in my heart.
The moon’s shining through my emptiness.
It’s making me sleepy, I see them.
It’s the shadows, they’re gonna get me.
I woke up by the river; mirroring the stars.
The moon saved me once again on this summer night.
The shadows dragged me here, they wanted to drown me in dreadfulness.
They’re what I fear the most; my Summer Nightmares.**
May 22, 2017
May 22, 2017 at 4:58 AM UTC
I glared Pandora in her sinful eyes
And simply asked her, "Why?"
Concerning all the dreadfulness unleashed upon the earth
And only for a peek, for the sake of curiosity.
Serpents and plagues spewed past her decaying lips,
Tears streamed and turned to blood
On contact with her ancient skin.
Her eyes pooled and screamed "I'm sorry,"
But faint and drowning, as if under oceans:
Seas of anguish
And centuries of bearing blame.
Jul 24, 2013
Jul 24, 2013 at 8:51 AM UTC
i am in stasis, prisoner to the nightsky
and all his dreadfulness
laying, helpless - waiting
for someone to steal my heart and end this
senseless aching
no more pain shall be felt in the name of a ******
angel
the lord has no sympathy for those who speak with their eyes
i am deaf to the silence and my ears bleed everyday
tell me you were crying on the day i stopped loving you
watch me as satan's hellboys
laugh with glee
while they pull apart my rib cage
bone to bone
watch me wonder if the pain
is worse than the love i felt for you
tell me that in the wake of all this destruction,
i have been made stronger
a black pearl waiting to be torn from its home
some day i wont have to wait anymore
Sep 4, 2016
Sep 4, 2016 at 11:32 PM UTC
I have uncovered that there is no word that holds more sorrow than potential.
Fate lies as only an unwitting alibi,
Malice only a valcher in its wake.
Potential is the reaching, unavoidable canyon in the soul,
So very tainted and saddened for things that never existed.
It is a pitiful nostalgia for words never spilt to the floor.
For the kisses that never stained the lips.
For the fingers that never brushed the skin,
With the electricity that was never felt.
For the places that were empty of you.
Potential, I have found,
Is a human construction.
Sinisterly designed to haunt you with who you are,
Remind you of who you are not,
And the vast, treacherous difference between the two.
-
(I mourn you in all the things we had not been,
I mourn you in all the places we had not seen.)
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014 at 8:52 AM UTC
What was that was "best" about my true feelings for you?
Is it that you once knew I did?
Was it because you had feelings before as well?
What excatly do you know or see?
Is it really ok if we were never meant to be?
One day can we not be on with eachother in harmony?
Is it not now but later?
Even with an "I'm sorry" that can light up the sitution,
To solve such a problem,
Why can that be enough for me?
I should be on top of the world but only a frown of unstabled expression lays on my face.
Should tears fall down, like any other?
Nothing but nothing is my answer,
A piece of paper that glazes at me with dreadfulness and a woeful picture of precious memories of a one sided story.
All over again.
But Thank You,
You really don't understand how much it can change the way someone view on everything.
Again Thank You,
May 2 , 2012
-
May 3 , 2012
May 3, 2012
May 3, 2012 at 3:26 PM UTC
Maybe I'll exhibit an ounce of satisfaction
When I see your heart fumbling on the floor,
On account of all the pain and sorrow it caused
No
Your burden doesn't turn you into a Saint
And no
You will not cloak yourself on hope
You'll not shade the bitterness that comes with hate
you will long for and sail on dejection,
Always looking on dreadfulness of your past tales
Dry your eyes
am talking to you
As days bleed into years
you'll soak up a great deal of agony
your life will be on a constant loop of despair
And then
Only then
You will remember this poem
Jun 26, 2017
Jun 26, 2017 at 11:29 AM UTC
"Perchance I was immune,
Or just dictated to be.
"Hearken," says the distant tune
Of my heart's running beat."
"Alone was I in this mini hideout,
Isolated from anguish and pain.
Strange how the dark comforts me,
Compels me to believe I'm sane."
"My old man seems present,
But he is not there
Does not seem to be himself
But a monster from my nightmare."
"Each time he tattoos a bruise on me,
I hear him curse my name.
Mothballs were my only comfort
Hanged clothes were the very same."
"The pattern repeats by itself,
Bluster transcends the boundary.
Even in my nicest, loveliest sleep,
In deep quietude you barge in."
"I desired to abruptly end it all
Inside this fancy closet.
Is life all solitude and dreadfulness,
Or was my life just an accident?"
"It breaks my heart to know
I always seemed invisible.
It were my last words.
Bid farewell, wooden wall."
It were my child's last words.
Forgive me, wooden wall.
Aug 8, 2015
Aug 8, 2015 at 7:35 AM UTC
As much as I miss the London Tube,
for its grandeur aesthetic,
for its fast-paced movement;
I fear of missing you,
for the way your lips shape up your pretty smile,
for the way your brevity articulates your erudite thoughts,
for the dreadfulness of the warmth,
and the heartbreaks that follow suit.
As much as I fall in love with The City,
for its vintage Victorian era buildings,
for its chaotic hectic way of life;
I fear of falling in love with you,
for your deep meaningful eyes,
for the firmness of your principles and values,
for the dreadfulness of the warmth,
and the heartbreaks that follow suit.
But the fearfulness of life is what makes us humans,
To be in fear, to be wishful, to be hopeful,
To move forward in higher spirits and stronger heart.
Oct 15, 2017
Oct 15, 2017 at 7:40 AM UTC
they think, yet have
they googled bullying.
what is so wrong with
being kind and gentle
in approach.
we have found here
that softness works
well.
to escape the dreadfulness
of life.
prevent wars, even small ones.
sbm.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 1:51 AM UTC
She walks in beauty and with elegance.
But I cannot seem to reach for her lips.
She leaves to go on her annual trips.
When she’s gone, I fill up with helplessness.
I will never feel such a blessedness
Until her restless green eyes come back here.
Losing her is the only thing I fear.
Just the mere thought fills me with dreadfulness.
The baroness came to grant me a kiss.
My heart skips a beat as she walks towards me.
Her radiant smile burns into my soul.
Spirits combined for a moment of bliss.
Our love shall last, it was meant to be.
To be joined at last, to become a whole.
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 31, 2019 at 3:57 PM UTC
Baptized in water, to wash afresh life
They flipped a quarter to pay a wreck their stripes
Too many strikes in the lines; I've done ill twice
To prove a lesson I never seem to learn
And by the next turn on an unfamiliar road
As where the water drips off the bottom sink—filled in dirt
I'll over think a wish that employers pay my worth
Baptized in fire, of all those miscreants I'd like to burn
Setting flame to burning evil intent of worldly incense
As the idea of a heaven paradise, is the only call to repent
To accept the mess you made—no sense or point to be afraid
Tip the finger despite the good intent, but a middle finger in prayer
Nowadays sinners aren't ashamed, to gain success out of his name
Heathen, Atheist, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist; all the same
Living the most lively of lives, but we'll all die in the end
Baptized in Earth, saying goodbye to befores, family and friends
It's the spoil of soil that buries my dreams with a fresh rose
She smells of intentions, but I cannot smell good with a ****** nose
Ironically all things are red, that of which we've read
To share with the young, or not really care—we all die in the end
Caught in this life's trap of the pleasure's unfair; a bear in a snare
To rob you bare, with tears and a ripped bandage that you tear
The ones you love aren't always there—in moment's phone call away
_Ring, ring, beep, beep, sing, sing, sip, sip_; sorry I'm drinking today
You're just throwing those hopes in the air, feeling down by gravity
Baptized in winds, swinging carelessly in hopeful imaginings
That you're the one to be the golden egg of your family
An idea I had once till it cracked, so I sit back relax and laugh
Mask my pains with a grin and jokingly demeanor to always pass
Speaking smooth joy out of a tongue of jazz, and jazz hands
Fingers splayed to play in quotation marks of having a good day
And the line phrase of always saying, "yeah I'm definitely okay"
All in these elements—restless, pretend excellence, dreadfulness
In the endlessness of subtle pettiness, of my helplessness
As of my gentleness elegance, in being my life as the evidence
I've been baptized fully by the full of all these elements
Sep 19, 2022
Sep 19, 2022 at 4:52 PM UTC
Remember the last time we walk
Also it was our last time to talk,
It was the night of snowing December
Freezing our bodies with its cold winter
But there's no use crying again and again
As memories flows of you leaving with a train,
Together with our tears falls like rain
Saying our last farewell caused pain
Those vivid memories of you leaving for war
Drowns me with anxiety and uncertainly,
Waiting for you to go home feels like enternity
But keeps me aiming far;
And I've always known war is a game
A game of life and death
Which even a man without a name
Would die in womb of his mother;
Now death has prevailed, your life has ended
Promises, shattered, broken instead;
Your lifeless body was an evidence
Of war's dreadfulness and cruelty at worst.
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 10:22 AM UTC