"appy" poems
*i think, you should stop going to italy, for one, oh **** me, keep going on hedonist piss-fuck fests to places like mallorca, but stop going to italy, you're making my stomach ache from laughter, with what you come back with, the so-called "innovations"; somehow i'd just poach my cauliflower, and drizzle it with fried breadcrumbs, and serve it as a side-dish to fried eggs (2), and some tatties; for goodness sake, even cauliflower cream soup makes more sense, garnished with some fried chorizo!*
first it was avocado on toast...
who the **** puts avocado on bread?
i can imagine putting it in pasta...
but on bread?
hey, what the **** does
the acronym f.a.d. mean?
i don't know, and i won't google it...
o.k. avocado on toast...
nothing near guacamole,
but fair enough...
but what i discovered... pushes
the button where i turn into a fox laughter
(fuchslachen) -
i couldn't stop...
you can find it in the weekend
section of the saturday times newspaper...
written by nicola m.
cauliflower and mozzarella pizza...
you have to be ******** me...
cauliflower? on pizza?
one of my housemates at university told
me an anecdote:
i was in a restaurant once,
and asked for a pizza with no cheese...
he continued:
and then the head chef came out and
asked me... are you, insane?!
a bit like: bread... but no butter?
and i thought i was insane eating a watermelon
today, whole,
the red pulp, and the outer layers including
the skin included, allowing myself
a gorilla imitation cameo gimmick...
but i thought i was mad...
but there's avocado on toast...
and now... cauliflower on pizza...
it's a ******* side-dish!
wait, don't tell me... you're going to put
some potatoes onto the pizza the next frizz
comes along... right?
how about beetroot?
thankfully, if i have some
wacky ideas in terms of culinary escapades,
they happen, drunk, after 12a.m.,
and i'm the scientist, and the experimental rabbit
2-in-1...
a newspaper column?
apparently, you get one, putting avocado
on toast...
or cauliflower on a pi-zzzzz-ah...
to be honest, even though i haven't tried it,
grilled aubergines on a pizza could work...
the toast? marmite and cheddar...
english people should stop glorifying holidays
in italy... they're ****** cooks...
an italian would just look at
a pizza with cauliflower and say: cosa?
i'd suggest heading to scotland first,
and picking up the vibes from some haggis.
**** me...
avocado on toast...
caulifower on a pizza?!
now i can die happy, 'appy,
clapping: encore!
Jun 10, 2017
Jun 10, 2017 at 2:54 PM UTC
Speakin’ in general, I’ave tried ’em all
The ‘appy roads that take you o’er the world.
Speakin’ in general, I’ave found them good
For such as cannot use one bed too long,
But must get ‘ence, the same as I’ave done,
An’ go observin’ matters till they die.
What do it matter where or ‘ow we die,
So long as we’ve our ‘ealth to watch it all—
The different ways that different things are done,
An’ men an’ women lovin’ in this world;
Takin’ our chances as they come along,
An’ when they ain’t, pretendin’ they are good?
In cash or credit—no, it aren’t no good;
You’ve to ‘ave the ‘abit or you’d die,
Unless you lived your life but one day long,
Nor didn’t prophesy nor fret at all,
But drew your tucker some’ow from the world,
An’ never bothered what you might ha’ done.
But, Gawd, what things are they I’aven’t done?
I’ve turned my ‘and to most, an’ turned it good,
In various situations round the world
For ‘im that doth not work must surely die;
But that’s no reason man should labour all
‘Is life on one same shift—life’s none so long.
Therefore, from job to job I’ve moved along.
Pay couldn’t ‘old me when my time was done,
For something in my ‘ead upset it all,
Till I’ad dropped whatever ’twas for good,
An’, out at sea, be’eld the dock-lights die,
An’ met my mate—the wind that tramps the world!
It’s like a book, I think, this bloomin, world,
Which you can read and care for just so long,
But presently you feel that you will die
Unless you get the page you’re readi’n’ done,
An’ turn another—likely not so good;
But what you’re after is to turn’em all.
Gawd bless this world! Whatever she’oth done—
Excep’ When awful long—I’ve found it good.
So write, before I die, ” ‘E liked it all!”
2.4k
Anytime you feel lonely
Beckon for me to come into your arms
Catch hold of my hand in the shadows, in the back row
Don't let go.
Every day is a new day
Feeling good
Good feeling
Happy... Almost.
I don't want you to leave as well
Just stay, please...
Keep your fingers crossed
Love the way that your dark eyes shine so brightly
My heart races in your presence
No good can come from this
Only few understand.
Please hold on for a little longer
Quit with the teasing already
Ridiculous, our circumstances...
Slow down, I want to know more
Tell me your deepest secrets
Under the light of the moon.
Velvet blankets, picnic baskets
What's next?
Xoxo, your biggest fan
You never did understand my jokes
Zzzzzz, goodnight, day dreamer...
*Now I know my ABCs,
Next time won't you comfort me?*
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 7:02 PM UTC
so the *** debate is raging
like a Californian
wildfire in the forests,
people are "presumed"
missing...
i'm sat watching
back to the future
(beats star wars, every,
single time:
the ****** is more obvious)
and then drinking...
i always wanted to
taste a lobster...
and listening to the best of
billy joel...
scratching my mustache...
BELGIANS IN
THE UK!
then fiddling with my bead...
my beard...
i have a beard?!i
**** i have a beard!
i took, fiddling with my *****
the wrong way...
after all ****** airs
have the same feel
as ***** hair...
a bit like cleavage...
so...
you're donningv
the buttock crack
up-front?!
funny, eh?
making fun of the phallus...
how about feeding
a Donnie Disney with your,
puppies?!
how about that?
***
if women do need
no men...
do what we do...
**** off anal-style...
we do the **** projective...
you cut out utilizing
the ******
look... 'appy bunnies"
if ai am about to turn
into a *****
the female right...
all the rights you require...
sure... have them...
but what sort of right
is it,
when there's no
existentialist argument?
go on... please...
make your dodo
and your
mixed-raced argument...
mono-racial is
the new neanderthal...
call it...
we're not progressive enough...
we're too ********
to mingle ethnicity...
call it!
call me halfway house
between down and
the ******
call it!
call it!
***** better call it!
(through gritting teeth):
call it!
i said... call it!
be your progressive "self"...
call it!
i'm ******** for not mingling
adequately enough with
crafting a trans-ethnicity populace...
neanderthal...
***** call it!
guess what... i love the laced
take on history via the Anglophone
re-reinterpretation
of Darwinism...
i love the neanderthal take on thiongs...
i'm bilingual, schizophrenic,
the sort of mongrel that...
has no place among
the duo-ethnicity... "mongrels"...
lucky you, lucky me...
i'm sorry... the F extends just so far...
two languages, orange man, bad...
but a congregation of
a dual ethnicity, green man, god,
and "the" good...
whatever suits your favor...
i should care,
i won't care,
i don't care,
i will, to never ever give a ****
about caring;
like god "said":
on your own;
i much prefer the freedoms
of the jungle,
than the restrictions of a zoo.
it's billy joel, "by the way"...
life will go on...
obviously a life much ********
than the intelligent people are used
to...
but... if that's what you allow...
then you're deserving it.
Nov 18, 2018
Nov 18, 2018 at 9:24 PM UTC
Eye hav a higgoramous, shee tort me orl I knoe
Sheez a clevar Higgoramous az Higorrami goe
Shee tort me orl mi spelin and wen eye pik mi no’s
Ter wypit on der carpit knot rubbit on mi close
Sum peepul saye herz higgorrunt an saye dat shee iz fik
I ate dem orrid peepul dey reely mayk mee sik
I ope dat shee gitz pregerant an az a littel cubb
Eye’ll fead er lotz of kandie an uthar luvly grubb
Eye’ll elp er mummie baff er eye’ll chainge er durty nappie
Shee’ll bee soe qoot an cudelsum shee’l mayk mee viry appy
An wen der cubb gitz biggar shee’ll plae wiv mee an kis
An evariwun wil real eyes dat higgoramous’s iz bliss :-)
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 8:11 PM UTC
You trip over apologies
like I stumble into love,
accidental and bruised.
They dribble out the side
of your mouth and onto the
letter you're writing for the
benefit of you and you alone.
You'll tuck it beneath my
windshield wipers, whispering
the words that you always
fall back on, "I'm sorry."
Feb 21, 2011
Feb 21, 2011 at 9:24 AM UTC
hello there chellovecks and forellas
appy polly logies for the chepooka
for i am only a devotchka
begging for a malenky lomtick of jeezny
droogies and nadsats
everyone who owns a pair of ookos
listen up to
your humble narrator
bring me a pletcho platch
and a polyclef
to open up the sun.
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 5:41 AM UTC
obviously chappy has a different connotation
(slang meaning for the orthodoxy resumed
in dictionary, i.e. bow-tie synonyousness)
in English language, etymology to no other
borrowed word from South African...
chappy just means a pigeon-walk of groove
when listening to Brit-Pop, or cheeky post-punk,
a bit like imagining a bowler hat on your head
while walking down Oxford St., so that's that
chappy; pigeons are naturally gifted in head-banging;
you're a chappy if you donned Ben Sherman shirts
without a belt, wearing jeans, styled on
an Oasis hit single... premature Quadrophenia
attainment to fit it... that how i define a chappy...
the zenith of Brit Pop, Ben Sherman shirts loose
over the waistline of jeans and sport sneakers,
and an Oasis single as the baseline for the heart to thump bu boom...
a real life chappy was this kid in primary school,
Tom... the exactness of what later became a metrosexual...
prior to that they were called chappies,
Ben Sherman shirts not tucked into a stiff pair of jeans...
you never could imagine an Englishman so under-dressed,
he must have come from Manchester
as was the obvious answer back then.
Aug 9, 2016
Aug 9, 2016 at 12:55 AM UTC
evri dai weni *** hom i say ello too mi famulee
dey sai hii bak
i an prowd perent
if i hav mi 909t cild i well be appie
wen i goo to slep i drem of mi famelie
wre arr habingg a jood tiem
eeting luch in de prak
ssomany appy memores
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 12:21 PM UTC
et id me borfday toodai
we ar so happi dso bee 16 yodqay
we wouldn lik to t6hank qaqdam rylander
he had ben a grayt heelp
i wood lek jew also fank solari
he liked mee pomes and amde me go trending
if yoo cood chair dis wev ur frends and mak me famoos
i wood be appy
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 12:35 PM UTC
And then they scream,
Louder with every bite of dark chocolate,
Late movies date and fun mate,
Misters were in each ones dream
was their real fate.
Conflicts and sorrows
Comes and fades,
Love was the only reason as they relates,
The winter brought happy,
Like the apple was arouse as Appy,
Secrets keeper,
Like salt and pepper.
Fashion parade, dance and date,
Truth and dare inappropriate,
Again the conflicts rise and shed,
Love was the only reason ,
The sisters were made.
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016 at 10:15 PM UTC
Silly is what they call me
Happy is what I'll be
Another would be a maniac
Not knowing why I act
Awake in the evening
Losing sleep in the night
Depraved of sleeping
Really, in the dark nowhere in sight
Idealistically wanting to be cool
Alas I'm corny like a fool
Never say 'give up' in a battle I fight
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 11:21 AM UTC
You love her
I love you
What's new?
I love you in the dark
Where the shadows hide me
Where you can't find me
It hurts so much you don't even know
When you tell me you love her, more than it shows
You're a gobemouche, can't you see the truth?
Whenever you need me
I'll always be here
Waiting and waiting
for something that might never even come
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 5:47 AM UTC
From beginning to end
Rising heck and mayhem
I love the way to make me laugh with your stupid jokes
Even though sometimes i may be sad you
Never ever mind
Dealing with the unknown future
Silly pictures of us when we were tiny
Happy times will always be in our hearts
I hate to say goodbye even though we will see each other in the future
Parting from you I can not imagine
Aug 4, 2014
Aug 4, 2014 at 11:31 AM UTC
Christian family searching for the truth.
Happy family playing games at the kitchen table.
Righteous members going to the temple.
Inspired parents helping children.
Sinners still, but finding forgiveness.
Trying hard to be the best.
Instead their daughter goes the other way.
Not seeking truth and righteousness.
Away from the church and the family values.
Dec 3, 2015
Dec 3, 2015 at 11:20 PM UTC
i don’t know
what time or what day of the week it is.
but today or tonight or this afternoon i am consumed.
how i can’t
listen to that album anymore
without remembering
how we lie sprawled on my bed as you sang to me and played the strands of my hair like a piano,
singing words of someone much bigger than us who
probably never blinked at the notion of such mundane love.
but still the words bring back waves.
no matter
the time or the day,
i still remember.
and it still burns in the night and they day
and in the afternoon.
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014 at 1:38 PM UTC
Under- Staffed.
Heavy with deepest deep sleep
he feels layers begin to un-zip, one by bleary one
and dipped head under the sheets.
Aware of small moving feet creeping away
he starts a hazy ascent but finds another quick
fit of dozing making him stay.
Too early he knows he leaves dreams half done
and grieves battles half-fought which had to be won
but once awakened chores have begun.
He wearily raises sleep-held lids to see standing,
wide-eyed and still night attired, his kids with tray
holding biscuits and milk scarily balanced.
Three little grins singing loudly as planned a great
"Appy Buffdy" and though childishly done his heart
swells as with pride he accepts his fate.
Love is a single Dad doing his under-staffed best.
Sep 15, 2016
Sep 15, 2016 at 6:22 AM UTC