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 Feb 2016 Wilhelmina
rogue
Do you remember the girl with the electric touch? As she placed her hand on the back of your neck, she breathed undiscovered galaxies into your lungs. Do you remember when she traced constellations across your back, and named each one for you. Do you remember when she reached inside of you and plucked the flowers that sprouted from the stardust she left behind, and weaved them into your hair.
warm handprints
     lingering like desperate spectres
watery honey eyes
     blinking away restless sleep
phantom pains from kisses
     months ago you can't remember
dust motes on decaying skin
     parting breaths and livid smiles
you've never felt so alive
     as when he died
 Feb 2016 Wilhelmina
OliviaAutumn
She was an ordinary girl.
Plaits beside a waistline she drew on with ribbon,
Fastening her thoughts she'd sworn to keep hidden.

Behind closed doors she would loosen the noose
Man ******* before her,
And bind up her lover
The milkman's daughter.
Chain smoking;
     three in the morning. Then four. Then two.
Red wine haze;
     street lights echoing in the stars.
Cold cheeks;
     cold toes, warm lonely champagne.
Missing notches in your spine that isn't there,
     too scared to go back to bed.
drowning in tiny oceans.
schiele-esque nudes
     in german poetry books.
speaking in tongues.
visiting graves
     in two different territories.
ginger cats with moonstone eyes.
****** noses
     in street lamp-yellowed alleys.
hey, you say
he smiles and you
light up
he throws his arm around you
and replies, hey, bud
you want to cry and trace his lips
and make him
mutter your name
while you have
your tongue in his mouth
you want to touch him,
trace the map of your heart
all over his skin
but he can't know
he won't know
if only he knew you'd be dead meat
with ****** carved on your skin

she grins at you
and loops her arm through yours
and shows you her bra
does this dress make me look fat
and you wish you could say
you're beautiful
and touch her back as you
slide the dress down her sides
but she chuckles and says
i think that boy is cute
why won't he ask me out
and you know
she can never know
she won't ever know
if you ever touch her
she'll push you away
yell, ew, a ****

you're oh so pretentious
you, such little poser
you've only ever been with guys
you don't know what it's like
to be with a lady
what a grand faker
you're so not special
shut the **** up

you're being ridiculous
don't you like ***
well you've never had it
find someone to put you in bed
I promise you'll like it
the best time you've ever had
now don't be a freak

here's something unheard
not in *** ed
and not at home
who sleeps with whom
is a business of their own
 Feb 2016 Wilhelmina
Lunar
Her lips may have trembled
But her words were firm
Her eyesight may have blurred
But her gaze was steady
Her hands may have shook
But her grip was strong
She may have been fragile
But her soul was brave
Last Friday, my Lola (grandmother) died. I just woke up, wanting to charge my phone when my dad entered my room and said "Lola passed away." For days I've been recalling memories of her with everyone in it. It's a known fact though, that we all believe she'll be in heaven. It's just that every time i saw her body in the casket, i can't believe that she's all made up prettily, sleeping, grasping a rosary in her gold dress, as if saying goodbye to us a final time. Which is true, and i accept, but i still can't believe she's really gone from us. Believing is different from accepting. It's the first death of someone whom i was close to with, that i have experienced. To think it would suddenly end so soon. But we knew the time was near.

To Lola, you are in God's hand. Wait for us. I love you.
 Apr 2015 Wilhelmina
Kai
Sovereign
 Apr 2015 Wilhelmina
Kai
There is a blue bird sitting on
a fence post, faded,
staring at a fatherly-made
house.
Entry is refused as the belongings
(or leftover garbage)
from the previous occupants is still obtained.
This must be what it is like
to lose your virginity!
I have been trying to find
the sense of home
drowning in our separated garage.
It's never as strong as I hope
or believe it will be
and that's fine.
This is acceptance.
Nothing is bullet-proof,
but predator-resistant.
Spoonfuls of courage must have been
fed to me
willingly
in my sleep
for today I am no victim.
On this day, I am no longer chained
to the inferiority
pressed upon me.
I am free.
25 March 2015
The day I was able to be proud of myself, appreciate myself, and begin to overcome the damage.
I have learned so much in the past few weeks about myself and how I want to live my life.
It is amazing that such a horrible event was able to bring out the best of me and help me find courage in many areas of my life.
 Mar 2015 Wilhelmina
Mr Bluesky
Anytime my coffee gets cold
I can't help but think of you
It scalds my mouth as I drink it too fast
But the pain doesn't compare
To that I feel missing you
My darling,
upon the mountain's caress.
My ******-friendly mess
in a pineapple dress.
I couldn't love less
or less of you.

Young explorer,
drifting from world to world.
A huckleberry eye
that shifts from trembling duress,
with my hands onto her back.
Why can't life cut you any slack?
The chair is going out under
as the skies are mumbling thunder.
My violin underneath the sin,
sounding from within
"...I love you."

Broken water
bounce from cheek to chest.
Your breathing sounds the best.
With my words onto your lips,
and how the saliva drowns and drips.
I grip around your hips,
with the world releasing a boulder,
that drops upon your shoulder,
and I shake you senselessly,
why can't god set you free?
I can feel from you to me.

Blood, down, to ever and let go,
with your body in the snow.
My river-drowned girl,
engulfed by the swirl.
Love, oh no, from year to year.
Your words so everclear,
"I love you, too."

Silver-shiner,
moon-kissed and ever so,
your feet on the bathroom floor,
the kills from the handled snore.
What I wouldn't give to drink
from your fountain.
What I wouldn't give to die
on your mountain.
My darling, from colored-t.v.,
with a kiss and a motel fee,
I could know what the known couldn't,
with my fingertips where they shouldn't.
Turn down the volume and say
that you'll stay another day
or three.
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