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Bad Jokes Inc Jan 2017
[*** *** ***, ba-dum da-dum]
The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand
and he said to the man running the stand...
"HEY!" [*** *** ***] "Got any *****?"

The man said "Go away you filthy perv."
"Cocktails is all I've ever served!"
"Why don't you take a hike?"

The Cuck said "Go ***** a ****!"

The he strutted away! [struttin' struttin']
He gotta get paid! [by the hour]
Gotta go to work! [at Trump Tower]
... 'Til the very next day.

[*** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]

The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand
and he slapped his **** onto the stand...
"HEY!" [*** *** ***] "Got any *******?"

The man balled his fists and said...
"Why don't you go get a pocket toy and ***** that you filthy pervert who can't get laid so he comes and bothers the cocktail man because he has no game!
How about you go to another bar and stop acting LAME!"

The Cuck said "Your sister wasn't lame."

Then he zipped up his pants [waddle waddle]
as he strutted away [got the zipper stuck]
but that's all okay [showing off the package]
Till the very next day.

[*** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]

The Cuck walked up to the cocktail stand
and he said to the man running the stand...
"HEY!" [*** *** ***] "Got any ******?"

The man got ******, then he started to smile.
"Come on, fellow! I bet you haven't had ***** in a while."

Then they strutted away [my **** itches]
but that's okay [they don't care they're *******]
watch out for snitches [shut yo **** mouth]
'Till they arrived at the trap house

[*** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]

"Here you go sir, she'll make your **** stir
She's even got a sister you can **** next to her!"
The Cuck's mind began to go....
"How about.... no!"

"But I like this place...
It makes my heart race...
and it would bring me joy....
it would make my day...
do you think we could...
do you THINK we could...

double team your wife so you don't have to pay?!"

Then he scrambled away! [zipping up his pants]
The man was angry in a trance! [hope he tied his shoes]
He even left the *****! [why'd you do that]

Instead he ******* the Cat.

[*** *** *** *** *** ba-dum da-dum]
In memory of my wives, there are too many of them to name.
Dec 2016 · 2.6k
Young Slug
Bad Jokes Inc Dec 2016
My name is Young Slug
and I write hip hop songs.
The lyrics sound as clear
as a lady slurping dongs.

Martin Luther King once told me
that my mother was a ****.
So I whipped out a baseball bat,
and ****** him in the ****.

I think he liked it too much,
cause he was moaning "colonel sanders,
stick it in my ***... and make me dry like the flanders."
All names mentioned in this **** are purely coincidence so f*** you.
Jun 2014 · 9.1k
Love
Bad Jokes Inc Jun 2014
This is a poem about love
and sticking your ***** in a dove.
Getting married in a church
of Satan.

I went to dunkin donuts
to get some ******* donuts.
A black man yelled at me
so loud that it made me ***.

So I unzipped my pants
and put my ding-**** on a table
then said "beat that ******!"
and he started beating himself while smoking a black and mild with a KFC bucket in his arms full of cow turds.
(I HATE ******* POETRY)

Poetry is the language of love.
No wonder it's full of *******.
Lust is where it's at
when I finger bang your uncle's grandpa's cat.

Randomness is fun
especially when you do crack.
I still ******* hate poetry.
You can **** my 20 foot purple headed yogurt slinger full of tar.

I am Bill Clinton and I approve this message.
I hate humans.
Jun 2014 · 27.5k
Boiling Vat of Hotdog Juice
Bad Jokes Inc Jun 2014
I was packing some snus
when I got up from a snooze
to put a ****
In a boiling vat of hotdog juice.

She was screaming and yelling
as I poured in the salt
and the cops busted my door
as my meal came to a halt.

I said "whats the rush?"
He said "***** hush"
As he sipped very angrily
at his watermelon slush.

I am black
yes very black
so they put me in the back
of their ****** cop van.

I went to jail again
For trying to cook a ****
in a boiling vat of hotdog juice
as I watched espn.

I got out of jail
Cause my drug money was bail
went back home
to see a fresh cooked **** in my garbage pail.

I was so happy
that I took a break to fappy
on my nice leather couch
while my girlfriend was napping.

Today was a good day.
Ice cube agreed.
I smoked all of my ****
and gave into my greed.

***** don't **** my vibe.
Poetry ***** *****.
Jun 2014 · 32.1k
White People
Bad Jokes Inc Jun 2014
I hate white people
who stop me from stealing their stuff
and bring in the po po
who put me in hand cuff.

Now I'm in jail
cannot post bail
eating out of a metal bowl
while being ****** in my *******.

Then it occurred to me
what I am supposed to be
so I became a basketball player
and changed my name to Lebron James.

Chris Bosh wants to be more than homies
ever since I was drunk and he groped me
he wanted my ****
i think he was sick.

Spoelstra is an ***
I ****** hate him.
he needs to die
before I cram a basketball in his wife.
Eric Spoelstra is my love.
Jun 2014 · 31.3k
Cum Dumpster
Bad Jokes Inc Jun 2014
I was walking down the street
Had an urge to *****
Saw a ***** dumpster
this looks nicer than the girl I dumped'r

I unzipped my pants
shat on the plants
got nice and hard
and shot off harder than a pornstar.
(**** THAT DIDN'T RHYME)

I have too much time
because all I do is shoot slime
all over the back
of a president who is black.

I like *****
I bang *****
I make them ***
faster than a game of putt putt.
(****** I CANT ******* RHYME)

All of you poetry snobs
are more stupid than calvin and hobbes
You will never be as successful as
Steve Jobs.

End of story. Because I am about to write another ****** poem.
I hate poetry.
Jun 2014 · 8.1k
I am fat
Bad Jokes Inc Jun 2014
I am fat
like an overused ****.

If you need some crack
gimme some smack
and ill make you lick my *****
until my *** goes splat.

All over your face
please put away the mace
I only want to *** on your sister's face.

I **** at poems
I hate America
the next chance i get
ill give it back to the Cherroka.

This will not rhyme
I hate poetry.
its only for dumbfucks who want to drink coffee with hipsters and lick obamas *****.

I love black people and my ***** is gigantic.  Goodbye :D I still hate Titanic.
Please read and analyze.
Jun 2014 · 32.4k
Nigger
Bad Jokes Inc Jun 2014
Here's a ****** theres a ******,
Everywheres a bigger ******,
****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ****** ******.
don't tase me bro!
This will be famous like Martin Luther Kings *****.

— The End —