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Tabitha Sep 2017
(If only you could) step into my heart for just a moment or two, you might be overwhelmed by what I feel for you.

Love, pure and simple. Love that has no end, and longs to hold you near. Now and forever.;
For as long as we are both here.

I want to hold you close
I want to hold your hand
I never want to let you go;
You're the best I've ever had.

I want to protect you
I want to keep you safe
I never want to see you cry;
or feel an ounce of pain.

I want to see you smile
I want to make you laugh
I never want you to wish for something, other than what you have.

I want to give you everything
I want to give you my all
I never want to give you less than anything you want.

Because it's simple
My love for you is pure;
And you are the one
I've waited my whole life for....
Tabitha Sep 2017
Sometimes in relationships,
our love defeats our lust;
But sometimes not.
Sometimes in relationships,
our peace is kept by trust;
But sometimes not.
Sometimes in relationships,
we each to each, are hurt and held and healed.
Sometimes in relationships,
we share our heart and mind;
But sometimes not.
Sometimes we are lost lovers, our lives blaze with brigher burst of passion; Sometimes we are best friends, we balance with compassion;
But sometimes not.
Sometimes we are up-in-arms night and day, our battles are fought and won;
Sometimes we are at-loose-ends, and struggle to be one;
But sometimes not.
Sometimes we are with others, together we entertain family;
Sometimes we are you and me;
Two is good company;
But sometimes not.
Tabitha Sep 2017
I tried
The same reason I cried, I died inside.
Imagine the life we live without feelings. Complete emptiness.

You filled me up, drew a smile in my heart,though you never loved me, I thought we loved each other; we just got complicated together.

The space between mind and soul, you filled it up wrestling with the pain that was left by the same one I'm running back to.

He tore me, left for you to
Mend it,
You did it,
I let you.
You did me, I loved it.
You did us, and lost it.
I'm here for you, she's there too.

You made me happy, put me together, showed me the passion any woman would **** for.....
......I died for..
When I hear your name it warms me, your face blesses me,the way you laugh, how toothaches make you cry, the confidence in your steps, the look in your eyes that strips me compliments and pleases me.
I see forever in your eyes, no secrets, no lies, unbreakable ties.
Forever together, without me.
I tried.
The same reason I lied, I hide inside.
I am not enough to hold you down, the stray in you defeats my power.
A majestic aura of supremacy you bring with you as I let you take over my weakness. I want to hold your hand, let go and hang onto your heart, slip and fall deep in your love, dive and drown into your soul....

How do I begin to imagine the loneliness of not having you with me?
If I could call you my forever, I would; but right now I can never but only dream
Tabitha Sep 2017
One gun, one bullet, one shot, one miss, our love, our hug, our song, our kiss, my tears, my hurt, my pain, your bliss.

Would we still expect good, if in our minds we knew that one of lifes biggest let downs is "its to good to be true." Would we still let our feelings and emotions build inside? Would we try to mask the excitement shown by our smiles?
Theres no where to hide
Why do we build ourselves up for such a big let down, then realizing the statement was true, turning our smiles to frowns.
It's like starting a game that we know we cant win, and breaking promises to ourselves when we swore we wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't even know what the hell I am writing
I swear,
But to me it makes sense....
If you keep reading, maybe you will understand the very last sentence.
From here on out, when I hear the words "it's to good to be true," I want the whole world to know, that my thoughts will always be on you.
Tabitha Sep 2017
...And when it all goes silent, and I am left with only me.

My racing thoughts, the emptiness, the pain throughout my body.

Chaotic darkness in my mind

Directionless

Feeling disconnected

I need to find the route home back to me.
I wrote this years ago. I was in a dark place. Scary time of my life. Let me just say, tonight.... I think I don't feel so disconnected anymore.
Tabitha Sep 2017
I sense and ending in the air;

And yet not clearly defined, but it's there.

Never came close to to closeness, for my fragments of reality shower my shattering heart.... How can this be right, dreams like melting ice within my mind.

How do I hold on?

Yet-

How do I let go?
Tabitha Sep 2017
Time passes by
Still I try
Hold time still
Here without you
It's so unreal.

Dark, sad and empty....
I want, I hope, I wish, I dream
I need you back with me.

Hidden,
Misplaced,
Stuck,
Stop, I'm lost.
Is there somewhere to go?
Are you there?
YOUR life, WAS life, NO life,
Your nowhere.

What's the point?
Without you its hard to care.
Empty times four,
This isn't how it's supposed to be!
**** everybody, goin' crazy.
Lets start over.
Unexpected. Can I get a warning?

Are you down or up?
Or is it up or down?

Me and sis equals two, plus....
Wait....
Minus you;
My world has
Frozen,
Stopped,
Crashed to the ground.

Attract opposites,
Opposites attract
You've gone up,
Are you watching me shoot down?
Waterfall,
Deep hole,
Down size,
It's a downfall
And I fell down fast
But I'm still falling,
How long will this last?
Don't say FOREVER,
Obviously that's not true
It's not a lie,
Cause FOREVER I'll miss you.

Pain makes you hurt
So hurt equals pain.
Memories are made to remember,
Remembering drives me insane.

What good is a question you can't answer?
Why
What
Where
When
And who's to blame?
Was it me?
She thinks it was her....
Maybe it was him.
I guess its irrelevant
And answers are cheap.
Vanished
Disappeared
Your still gone
Absent filled with a blank
I'm still here
Unclear
Without you
I'm incomplete.
I wrote this poem 7 years ago after my mom....My one true best friend died 3 days after she was diagnosed of stage 4 Lung Cancer. My Mom actually kept the fact that she had cancer from my younger sister and I. We thought she was sick with the flu.... Thats what she told us for her reasons why she was going to the hospital every other day. Had I known.... I would have spent every last minute with her. I didn't know though, So I only spent the last 2 hours of her life beside her hospital bed with her.... I remember it all just like it was yesterday..

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