i want to wave a hand,
but i can't.
i want to say hello,
but my throat stays tight.
it's hard for me
to do something i really want to.

lines,
the curves of your neck, your eyelashes that flutter.
color,
the brown in your eyes, the barely there pink of your chapped lips.
texture,
the bumps on your cheeks, the smoothness of your hands.
space,
the width of your shoulders, the space between your eyebrows.
shape,
the way your shadow looks as the spotlight's on you.


van gogh, da vinci, munch, and michelangelo,
they'd all be ashamed,
for they could never make art in the form of you.

the world may not have given me the chance
to love you as you walk by my side,
but the world did give me the privilege
to love you so deeply.

maybe that's why we can't be together.
because the world knows that when my eyes,
that have always been searching for yours,
meets your gaze,
my world would be different.
for my world would become you.

do you want to know a secret?
when you smile
the stars glow brighter
because they want to prove that they could be brighter than you.
when you walk
the flowers that watch you get jealous
because how could the amount of beauty you hold outnumber the amount of petals they have?

do you want to know a secret?
when you look my way
my heart aches
because i can't believe you are close enough for me to grab,
close enough for me to tell you
i love you
and no star or flower can ever beat the love i have reserved for you.

i remember
giving you a once-over
and moving along the crowd without looking back.
but how come,
all of a sudden,
the stars seem like they've been living in your eyes?
how come,
all of a sudden,
the clouds are shaped like your silhouette?
how come,
all of a sudden,
the only lullaby i'll ever need is the sound of your laughter?

it confuses me,
how slowly my heart loves.
it amazes me,
how hard i end up falling.

maybe time
is only helping me prepare myself
for the infinite possibilities of you.
maybe time
is letting me gather my whole being
in hopes that you would accept it, too.
maybe time
is giving me the chance to be broken,
just so that i could be fixed by you.
maybe time
is making sure
that i would be deserving
of the love that is yet to come.

love is
a cycle
that starts with me
and ends with me
in pieces

hey mister
i've been looking all over for this one thing
it's not under my bed
or my pillows
it's not in my jacket pocket
or my bag
it's not in my book shelf
or in between the millions of pages
it's not where it should be

hey mister
can you show me your hands?
i think you took my heart with you

the feeling of knowing
that there are so many fish in the sea
and you are one of them
but sometimes
it feels like
you are just
another tourist
looking through the aquarium window

We flew in summer,
He showed me spring.
I held him in winter,
We were each other's fall.
He was my muse,
I was his passion.
We are my ikigai.

as if time slows down
that's what it feels like
you are one massive blackhole
and i a helpless shuttle
trying to find a way out of your
endless abyss
that always manages to
bring me back to the place
i never wanted to be in
but it's terrible because
as i move farther away
i see my hair turning gray
and yours still a luscious black
and it gives me fear
to know that i'd age
without the one i thought
would give me a home
so warm so right

it's scary
to think that the possibility of meeting you
wasn't as slim as i thought it would be
that i'd look into your eyes
and feel that tickle in my stomach
i'd be red all over
because i finally have the chance
to say all the words
i still have yet to piece together
and i'd finally be able to
hold onto the moment that i
never thought would ever happen