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Violet Blue Jul 2015
Why are you so protective of me
Why do you have to make sure I'm okay all the time
Why do you hug me like you do
Why did you hold my hand that time
I was fine just holding onto your arm
Why did you send me a heart that time
Why do you always try prank me
Why do you always look at me
Why did you let me sleep on your chest that time
Why did you play with my hair and hold onto me tight while we were sleeping
Why do you care so much for me
Why do you do all of this
Then say you don't feel the same to people
But then your best friends want us to be together
Same with your sister
I'm so confused
Do you love me or not
Because all your doing
Is leaving me here
Alone
Feeling confused
Hurt
When you said you could never hurt me
You are right now
Violet Blue May 2015
Lunch time
In 10 minutes
Time to get the school
Wifi Password
Cause yes
I’m a teenager
Wifi is fucken God
Violet Blue May 2015
Do you ever just wonder
What if

What if I took a chance
What if I just went for it
It could turn out perfectly
But then it may not
I'm scared
Scared to take a chance
Even if its something that
could make me
happier than ever
But
If it goes wrong
It could crush me
Break me
Wonder why
Do you care so much
For little old me
But not feel the same
Its all so weird
Isn't it
So confusing
The things you wonder
You
Violet Blue Jun 2015
You
There's so much I could say I don't know where to start. I like how much you care for me and I don't know why you care for me so much or how  deserve you but I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am. I like how protective you are of me you always have my back ALWAYS even when you can't be there you're still there for me through messaging me. I like how you message me good morning just to check on me and see how I was and if everything was alright. I like how you messaged me every time I go on road trips and tell me to stay safe everyday and message me when I'm travelling there and home and make sure I get home safely every time we walk somewhere at night. I like how you made me keep that promise to keep me safe at night. I love how we tell each other stuff and how I can trust you with anything and I can tell you anything. I like how we fight about the silliest things they aren't even real arguments just us joking around pretending to be mad at each other when we're not and one of us sneaks a look at the other and smiles and the other person catches us and we know we can never be angry at each other. I love how we share the same morals and i don't really know what to say there's too many things I like about you. I like the way you hug me slowly and tightly and you don't let go for ages long enough for me to feel your warmth and appreciate the moment and even long enough for a small conversation in each others ear. I like the way you say goodnight to me it helps me sleep with ease of knowing I still have you.  The truth is I'm scared of losing you so scared I've never been so scared of losing someone in my life. I need you in my life I can't lose you not now not ever please never leave. I'll miss your touch, your icy fingertips touching my knee comforting me making sure I'm alright, I'll miss being able to sleep on your shoulder feeling your warmth on my cheek and you softly talking to me so no one else can **** in our conversation, I'll miss the way we put our arms around each other and walk together to protect each other, the way you whisper in my ear and scare the **** out of me to point out some imaginary thing in the bush when it's dark just to scare me so I get scared and bump into you so you can laugh and put your arm around my shoulders and we'll laugh together, I'll miss the way you sit closer to me when it's cold and offer your jacket to me, I'll miss your quiet comments in my ear when we're watching plays together, I'll miss our stupid little conversations when we're mad at each other but still want to talk but we're not really mad at each other just pretending to because you know I can't stay mad at you if you flash your big cheesy smile at me and you know it gets me every time, I'll miss the way you look deeply into my eyes when your looking at me and talking to me so please never leave or a part of me will leave with you
Violet Blue May 2015
You see what we show others
The outside
Not the inside
We don't show you what we feel
For each other
We keep that special for just me and him
You say you don't seem interested
In him
He doesn't seem interested in you
You don't even know
You don't know the messages
The touches
The looks
The smiles and the kind eyes
The beauty of it all
You have no idea
You don't even know
The half of it
**** out
You know nothing
You have no idea the emotions
Built up over time
You don't know how I feel
Because your not me
How would you know
Anything about it
It's different
You don't even know
You just see the outside
Violet Blue Jul 2015
Enlighten me would you
On which part do I not understand
Do I not understand the shame of
walking out of your house scared of being judged
Honey I was scared to even get out of my car a couple months ago
To walk the grounds of school with the fear of being judged
I was scared because he wasn't there for a period or two
Because he had a meeting I had no protection
Do I not understand putting on a fake smile and wanting to cry 24/7
Honey I had depression since Year 5
You think I don't understand
Do I not understand feeling trapped and scared
I've been in my room and fallen to the ground
Felt like the room was spinning and closing in
Wanting to rip my hair out
Tears flooding down my face
Chest tight as
Couldn't breath
Hyperventilating having a panic attack
And I don't understand??
Enlighten me which part do I not understand??
Do I not understand being insecure?
I've been so insecure I couldn't even walk my own house without wearing makeup I couldn't even look at myself without wearing makeup.
Enlighten me would you
Violet Blue Jul 2015
They say drugs are bad
They're addicting
That's why they make them illegal
But honey love is the most powerful drug
It's the most addicting
Causes the most pain
Yet legalised
Cause
You're my high
You're my drug
Somehow I keep coming back
Cause its so **** addicting
That good feeling in my soul
Even if it only last a little while

— The End —