Its the middle of the night,
I have this pit in my stomach.
Its a sinking feeling,
I cant stop it.
I need help,
I cant ask for it.
Feels like hell,
I cant get out of it.
Im sinking,
Deeper and deeper,
To the depths of despair.

Sometimes I wish,
My sleep wouldn’t end,
So I wouldn’t have to deal with anything,
Ever again.
All alone in this hell called life,
Just makes me wish,
I would not survive.
Only more pain awaits,
They say it will get better with time,
But they don’t know,
No one understands it.
The unending sadness,
Of being alive.

I can always say,
If I leave,
I can ignore it.
But thats not how it works,
Does it?
I already know,
It’ll haunt me,
Until the end.

Im back.
4 years have passed,
Full of freedom,
Far from you.
Now I’m back,
Constantly feeling trapped.
I see no hope,
No light,
I cant even fight.
I’ve already lost,
The battle of life.

Never did I think,
That moving ‘home’,
Would be the reason,
I constantly think about the end.

I was so naïve to even think,
That me being back,
Would be any different.

I made their lives more difficult,
They were happy without me.
It must be such a pain,
For them to have to look at me.

Each day only gets worse,
I don’t know how long I can take it,
Before I break.

.
.
.

Who could have known,
That moving ‘home’,
Would mean the end.

This is the time in life,
Where life is not worth living,
Each day gets harder to survive.
‘Life’ drags on day by day,
While you hope,
For something to go right,
But it never does.