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Juliana Aug 24
in a perfect world
you would have stayed
Juliana Aug 31
So it was awkward?
So you dipped?

I still think you are the most beautiful person in the world
and it would simply be the bomb
If we could try again.
Juliana Aug 24
Why is it
That the same person
That breathed life into me
Ran away
With my heart
Please like!!!!!
Juliana Aug 24
Someone told me to forget about him
But tell me how I can forget about the person that breathed life into me
About the person who stole a chunk of my heart that I’ll never get back
It’s impossible
There’s no forgetting
Forgetting him would be forgetting the best parts of my life
Memories that I want to tell my kids in the future
I can’t take losing myself in losing him
But I know sometimes I have to chose my priorities
Juliana Aug 25
Sometimes I think about you
And my hand feels empty
Cause it’s not holding yours
And my head feels unstable
Cause it’s not resting on your shoulder
And my lips feel dry
Cause they’re not kissing you
And I miss you but I know you don’t feel the same way so I try to forget
Juliana Aug 27
If you came up to me and said you wanted me back
I would go
In a heartbeat
Juliana Aug 24
It’s the moments when I feel most alone
That I wish you were here

But mostly the moments where I’m surrounded by people
But I can’t seem to talk
Like it!!!
Juliana Aug 29
It’s kinda weird to think about
Because sometimes I’m living so far in the past
And it’s almost like you’re mine again
And then suddenly I open my eyes
And ****
Just like magic
You’re gone again
Juliana Sep 1
It’s kinda weird to think about
Because sometimes I’m living so far in the past
And it’s almost like you’re mine again

There we are
Back in the gym, where I first met you
And there you are
Looking fine af
And there I am drooling over every single thing you do
Cause your arms and your legs and your shoulders and your chest just have a way of making me weak
Sometimes you talk to me
Sometimes you glance at me
Sometimes you ignore me
But I’m waiting
For you
To see
That I want you so so so badly

Then flash forward a couple months
We go on a golf date
It’s your first golf date
And my first date. Ever.
It’s awkward I try to talk to you and make conversation but your too introverted for me and it’s weird
But you’re just the right amount of introverted too
And I’m sorry
But I’m in love
With you
Sorry
Again

Suddenly we’re there
Late on a Thursday night
Like three in the morning
You pick me up
Because you can drive
And we go to an empty parking lot
Just me and you
And you kiss me
And I remember that kiss for the rest of my life
I remember you for the rest of my life
Because we’re together
And everything’s good
And no one’s hurt
And no one’s sad
And no one’s crying every single night about how much she wishes she could just kiss you again
Or even so much as hold your hand
Or rest her head in the space between your chin and your collarbone

And then suddenly I open my eyes
And ****
Just like magic
You’re gone again
Juliana Sep 20
I saw you today
I see you all the time
In all the things
You’re in my head before I go to bed
And In the cars and in the trees and in the mountains and in the sky

But i actually saw you today
And you saw me too
And I know this because we locked eyes
We locked eyes for just a second
And in that second I saw all the things that I want and can’t have
Staring into those dark dreamy eyes

The same eyes I’ve cried over every day since the summer ended
The same eyes that held such love in them just a few months ago
But they were just blank

And just like that the second was over and you turned your head and looked away

You saw me
I know you saw me
You had to have seen me
Please see me
Juliana Aug 24
Looking for a single man for the chance to listen to him play his music, tell him that he did a really good job, talk to him for a while, about school, family, death, life, people, exchange numbers, get a call from him, talk for a couple hours, say goodnight, wave to him the next day in school, share homework, secrets, lunch, fight about if I have the better pesto, tomato, turkey, spinach sandwich, or if he has the better ham, mayo, cheese sandwich, give him some of my animal crackers from the second isle in sprouts that just melt in your mouth, with the possibility to keep this lunching up, ditch school after third period and go to the movies, he drives, hold hands during the movie, the first actual touch, laugh together when we think that everyone else is learning about biological macromolecules, go out to chick fil a, order two chicken sandwiches and two lemonaids, one regular, and one berry, snicker at the nosy waiter who kept looking over at us, entertain the idea of us running for senior prom king and queen, don’t submit our names, cry about how we won’t be together at college anymore, promise to call each other every day, keep that promise, get jealous whenever another name is mentioned in our calls, be it male or female, decide to move back home, soon after, get engaged, plan the perfect wedding with all our old friends from high school, all our new friends from college, with purple flowers, and gorgeous dresses, cry when reading our vows to each other, laugh when the maid of honor, your sister, reads her speech, go on our tropical honeymoon, get really tan, tanner than normal, maybe just a little burnt, but not enough that we still can’t have a good time, stress about worries of life, jobs to do, bills to pay, friends to see, children to make, sometimes it seems like it’s way too much for us to handle, but we do it together, I encourage you to get back into music and you encourage me to start playing volleyball again, perhaps coaching volleyball, we never make it work with a baby boy on the way, I finally find someone I love more than you, you find someone you love more than me, we foster and nurture our baby in all the ways in life, teach him to grow from his mistakes, try not to be too over protective, but sometimes it’s hard knowing what’s out there in the world, have another baby girl that gets spoiled way too much from an early age, watch her grow to be in love the same way we were in love, with a boy that could never be good enough for her, go for long walks at night, get to know each other in a way we’ve never gotten to before, send our kids out into the world, praying that everything we’ve tought them will be enough, retire from our jobs that we never really liked, reilize that men die earlier then women, travel the world, see Costa Rica, Austria, Germany, Japan, Mexico, reminisce on all the good memories we’ve made over our whole lives together, long to see our children that we haven’t seen for so long, find out that we have grandbabies we were never told about, love our grandchildren with everything else we’ve got in ourselves, until we’ve got nothing left, lay on our death bed, side by side, hands holding onto hands for as long as possible, one last kiss, one more promise that we love each other no matter what.
Juliana Aug 24
The first day we started talking you asked me why I fell
So here’s a list of ten reasons, please listen well

The first one is pretty obvious, you could see it from a mile away
You’re really jacked and I feel like that goes without much of a say

Reason number two, I’ve told you this before
The confidence you have in yourself, your friends, and more

The third reason applies for anyone in our class
When mister T asked you to demo, it really just made me laugh

Number four, I saw you right, left, up and down
Whenever I was and wasn’t looking, you’d always be around

The fifth reason is you mysteriously survived in the world without making a sound

I tried to stalk you but you were nowhere to be found


Then we started talking and the feelings grew and grew
I wonder sometimes if you felt the same way about me that I feel about you



The list continues with a very noticeable reason six
You were so sweet ever since the first snap treating me in a way I’ll never forget

Seven is a little bit more just between me and you
You told me stuff and it made me blush red and pink in every single hue

Reason eight is that if you put your mind to something you would follow through
Part of me really thought you put your mind to me and to you

Nine is something you once told me late at night
If I had a question I’d just have to ask, right?

I don’t think I can give my reason ten until you come back to me
Cause I miss you and I love you and I hate the way that makes me seem
Which reason was your favorite?
Juliana Oct 27
You have such a hold on me
That kind of hold that doesn’t fade
No matter how many years
We’ve been apart

If I had to choose someone
I would’ve chosen you
I still might choose you
But I’m confused

And then I think about that hold
And all the memories we’ve shared
And I know no matter how far
Every single second of every single day

I do
Juliana Sep 3
And I’m afraid that if you saw everything I’d written
Cause it’s all about you
Every single
Word
Syllable
Letter

You wouldn’t come running back into my open arms
Tears
Running
Down
Your
Face

You would get even more scared
Hiding
Your
Face
Forever
Loss him heartbreak love
Juliana Aug 24
How long has it been?
It’s been a while and I still think about you
On the daily
I still talk to you in my head when I need someone to vent to or someone to comfort me
You always were good at that
Whenever I get a text I hope that it’ll be you
You explaining for why you ended things with me
It was never supposed to last
But you can’t blame me for hoping that you and me would be forever
I never even heard you say my name
Did you ever call me by my name
The way I called you
First
Middle
Last
Juliana Aug 24
When the city was lonely
You were my one friend
You said that you’d stay with me till the end
Well the end is now

When the city was dark
You showed me the light
Brought my weary bones back to life
Now they’re turned to dust

When the city was cold
You ignited a fire
Destroyed everything until only we were left
My home was left in ash

When the city was perfect
You got up and walked away
I guess you thought it was better that way
I started to cry

When the city was gone
You were no where in sight
No one was
And I finally broke
Juliana Aug 25
I can’t remember when I forgot
The word that I want just seems to be lost
Your name disappeared into the grave
I keep trying and telling myself not to save

The last memories I have of your face
Kept in photographs giving me a trace
Of what we had but now that will be gone
I realize I used to be a pawn

In this sick game you put me through
Now I’m glad I can’t remember you
Juliana Aug 25
Can’t we just wait a couple more years
Until we’re twenty
Until we can process our fears
I’m just too young
I’m only 13
But yet…
So is he.
And look what happened to him
I was his friend
I really cared
About him
About us
Why?
Why?
Does all of this happen to us
At such a young age
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
The years keep going
and all we can do is stay here
Stay
And hope
For the best
It’s sad. It’s really sad
I ask again,
Why?
Why?
Can you not tell me
why?

I need to know
We all need to know
Juliana Aug 25
They say don’t ruin the friendship
I think that it’s all long gone
I was thinking we could make this work
Lately you’ve barely been able to respond
What about all the other girls
Do you pay them any mind
Are you trying to make my jealous
Talking about them all the time
Do you even like me
Or is that just a rumor being spread
Cause I like you
Do you know that?
Don’t let it get to your head
I liked you last year
And all the days of my life
I’ll feel helpless
Whithout you at my side
We went to homecoming
You were my perfect height
I took your hand
And I wanted you to kiss me
I’m not gonna lie
I compare myself to everyone else
I don’t have the body
The brains
The tongue that you like
So why me
I ask myself ever night

— The End —