In my final moments as I lay on my death bed
When the eyes were on the verge of closing forever...
And the soul knew it was going to get captured now
Amidst all the memories and regrets running through my mind...
...All I could think about was you
Your serene face kept flashing before my eyes..
...i could never forget those angel like eyes
Your sweet voice kept ringing in my mind..it was so relaxing and motivating
Your fragrance I could now fondly recall..it was somewhat ethereal
Every single moment I spent with you...It was all flashing before my eyes
Your words I could never forget them..
You had said ...try to be the best version of yourself no matter what
I tried my best to follow your advice
I don't know if I ever succeded
...but believe me I tried
You left me too soon
I missed you so much
Everyday without you felt like a punishment
Nothing seemed to make sense anymore
Life for me had lost its meaning
Without you my heart felt like a graveyard...
...it felt like an old abandoned and desolate house
But finally I'll join you now
I've waited for this moment for so long
I've longed for our souls to meet
I've prayed so much for us to be together someday
We couldn't be together in this lifetime
But now finally death will unite us...

My mother would have loved this house.
All she ever wanted was a fireplace -
And I have one that’s never held a fire.

She lived in what the rich would call a hovel.
It was clean but it was old and worn.
I have two stories and a chandelier.

She would have liked my upstairs guest room
And the elegant stairway leading there.
She would have reveled in the sun-filled aerie.

Would that I could give it all to her right now,
But she never lived to see this house,
To leave her essence in the air and walls.

She died without a fireplace of her own.
Because of that, I’ll never light the one included
In this house that far exceeds what I deserve.
                                ljm

I reach for her love and am handed back anger.
I learn all the dance steps and what I should wear
But the Prom invitation never comes in the mail
And I’m scolded for lack of attendance.

My pen has been poisoned by her hateful words
It trembles and writhes in my shaking hand.
The ink blots and smudges are all shaped like teardrops
And the letters assemble to only spell pain
        ljm

-


what do you say to someone
you love from such a distance ?

a stroke could be measured by
how far it is from the first floor
to the intensive care unit

or from the steering wheel
to the door **** of the
hospital entrance

or from your drive way to
the spot where you have to
pay for parking

or from the handset of
your telephone to his ear—

exhausted,

you can only
whisper
into it—

"i love you Daddy"

and hope this time
he can feel your
breath...


s jones
Nov 2021


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