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else Dec 2019
Time’s fabric rips and shreds with you here.
I block my ears, let me get away from here!

History needs time to wind and unwind
But the clock accelerates, ticks amplify–
Dissonance of chronology’s concussion
And the beckoning of the space station

NASA, take me to the ISS—
I’ll major in astrophysics—
Just get me away from earth—
Take me to a field of solitude.
else Nov 2019
Trust me, I'm not insomniac.
Sleep is gold, but only a layman's dream
The night is the only time I can flee, be free,
Alive.
I can do what I love, not what you want me to.
Can't you just let me
Breathe?

What do you wish? What do you want?
I'm not your genie in a bottle,
I'm tired of playing as your Barbie doll,
I'm telling you– I need space, a place to
Breathe.

Just who are my tears and sweat for?
Who will gain the best at the very end?
A bright future? For whom? For me or...
For you?
Not me, it's not me.
You're choking me, constricting me.
Why don't you let me
Breathe?
I'm tired of others' expectations. I'm suffocating.
else Nov 2019
October, gradually going to November.
If liquor can erase
my entire hard drive,
then so be it.
But just of you.
Just of…

Just of… who?
Short version. My favourite stanza from the poem.
else Nov 2019
October

October. Your birthday.
I was the first to wish you.
You kept it hush– don’t tell anyone,
you said. I obeyed. Like a dog.
When you pat my hair I bared,
but you’re tearing my heart inside.
I’m scared.

October. Smiles and cameras.
If my friends didn’t push me then,
I’ll have no proof you exist.
Will that be better? But I’m happy.
I’m always happy.

October. Studies, studies, studies.
I was drowned in studies. And food.
I thought I forgot about you for good.
Yet amidst equations, you’re there.
How can I ever fare?

October. Memes, dreams…
Dreams. At night, alone, I do feel
a bit lonely. Empty…
Nah. I got my gutsy guitar.
We jammed till daylight.

October thirty-first. Ooh, spooky–
hold my gin, I’m gonna burst–
listened to good ol’ rock as
I drank whiskey on rock, coke– I
had fun of course– without you.
Without you–

October, ending in an hour.
A friend and I in the bus,
We laughed.
My mate returned.
The bed is no longer bare.

October, November. If liquor
can erase my entire hard drive,
then so be it.
But just of you.
Just of…

Just of… who?
This is the long version
else Oct 2019
That day you left puzzles unsolved,
No one to tell me where to go.
Still wondering
What they really mean
Riddles with no solutions
Mysteries you kept, forever a cold case,
Questions which have no answer.
else Oct 2019
She may not be the most graceful:
I watched her trip over nothing
And knock over something
Almost everyday.

She may not be the smartest:
I watched her stuDYING, failing math,
And stringing wrong words
Almost every hour.

She may not be the prettiest:
Her hair is a mop, her locks fall
Like willows over her face
Almost every second.

But she is the best
Amongst the rest,
Her smile, her jokes, her zest,
My one and only jest.
else Oct 2019
I'm not sure if it's the gin
Or your slow, drunken kisses,
But I sure **** know
I'm gonna sleep well tonight.
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