When I was young, my mother promised me that tears could wash away my pain.
That no matter how much They brought me down, everything would turn out to be okay.

This lie was planted inside of me and grew roots that were unwilling to let go of my organs.
The tinny seed proceeded to expand across my body, joining in with my blood veins.
It clung on to me so tight, that most nights I spent long hours just trying to catch simple bits of breaths.

Several years passed and despite the consequences, I still choose to believe in this lie.
That I am worth something, That things will only get better, That time heals, and That they are only mean because they are jealous.

As if it were that simple.
Life is merely a deceiving game of those in power and of those in need of it.
Those left behind are consulted by the melody of triumph that they believe is played for them.
If only they knew that life is not that simple.

How can we say that we are more than simply animals, when all we do is loathe the existence of those better than us?
How can we say that we are superior, when all we are filled with is disgust and envy?

But maybe we are not all like that?
And maybe that is why the so-called "lie" continues to spread its roots inside of me.
Maybe there is still Hope for our nation to reunite and stand together as one whole.

I would like to believe in such Hope.
Because maybe this "lie"... will be diminished of its undignified title.



-FreeMind

9.30 pm
Nice warm shower
then into bed
On my pillow
I rest my head
Close my eyes
hope to sleep
distract my brain
count some sheep
Toss and turn
a hot sweat or two
lay here awake
think of you
Then my dreams
take me away
hope tonight this is where I stay
But now we're up at half 1
felt like sleep had just begun
Your all sorted  
hope you dream
straight to sleep
it does seem
If I sleep instantly
it's a treat
a whole nights sleep
you just can't beat
Next thing I know we're up again
it's half 5 in the morning
Drag my **** out of bed
Can't help myself from yawning
Your sorted
Back in bed
Once again I rest my head
Alarms are ringing
in my ear
Up again with not much cheer
Fruit and meds
I give to you
Then shower you
clean and fresh
I'm half asleep and look a mess
But back to bed
you want to go
It's just us today
so our day can be slow
Our support worker
has cancelled today you see
so I get to climb back into bed
for a more sleep
Yippee

All I want is for the right man to enter my life that's supposed to be there.

In my dreams..
I picture him having rough strong hands that are lined with experience.
I picture him running his hands softly across my damaged past,
Lingering over the shattered places within my heart.
Kissing me so deeply, engulfed in unspeakable passion erasing every ounce of doubt that arises.
I picture him grabbing my hand, standing tall beside me, at the most crucial times, when others have left me...
I picture him saying...
"I love you."
I picture me believing it because the truth will be in his eyes.
And when he says,
"I'll never let you battle anything ever again alone."
It'll be in this small moment of pure bliss,
That...
I picture myself thanking God,
Because he turned a tiny dream of mine into a reality.