This brokenness inside would be kindling for fire,
that tiny spark that lit it all would come from our chains;
True companionship was something I strongly desired,
But vulnerability I thought it needed to be contained;

I learned to be uncomfortable, to truly perspire,
To share in what I thought was vain;

If I had known what I would've acquired,
My secrets I would've never retained;

Now I’d found a place to retire,
A feeling I can’t explain,
I'd found a place where love was the occupier,
somewhere I could remain.

The thoughts in my mind continually race;
I need something to slow down this awful pace;
I need to hear the crashing of the waves;
maybe a peaceful mountaintop where you just sit and gaze;
Just something to give my mind some space;
A way to empty my mind, like a runner does his legs;
The kind of quiet where if you pause it gives you grace;
for me this peace was never a specific place;
it could be staring at the sky, burning in the sun's rays;
it could be a memory that lasted a second but to me it was days;
something to make me feel small, like I've vanished from my body without a trace;
My mind can float safely here as writing is My escape.

It’s on the tip of my tongue,
I know it I swear, the words aren’t missing,
they’re just not there, on the tip of my tongue,
I believe I know where,
I'll find them in the dark skies or in my blank stare.
Please send up a light or some kind of flare,
end this cycle of searching,
searching for what is rare.

Words that I’ll be searching for for a while,
Surprised that I’m locked in, like juvenile,

I’ll be Stuck in a constant rewind,
until we've left this topic behind.
Then I'll remember and say remember that time,

Eventually, Ill be able to speak effortlessly again
of course it'll happen after this conversation ends.

In order to expose my heart and truly write,
I must release my status or my pride,
this is not about me,
it was never meant to be a way to gain recognition,
another way for me to perform on a stage, some sort of exhibition.
Yet I find myself hesitating to write my thoughts,
trying to impress people I don't even know,
It was only meant to be an outlet a therapy for me, never some sort of show,
but like everything I have ever done somehow Id rather waste my time trying to impress. My guilty conscience driving me to be truly under duress. Forced to hold back the leanings of my heart I merely release a fluffy worthless shallow piece. I will not be stifled, held down by my need to please, my ribs will not rupture under this pressure as I try to breathe. I must write with heart and soul or not at all.
So this is my open message to you pride, no matter how many times I fool myself into putting on your mask, I promise, your control over me will not last.
I will take you off just as quickly as I put you on because I want someone who reads these to truly see me. To see me with all of my scars misfortunes and faith, I will put my heart out, I will never aspire to be fake.

Choose to love,
Choose to treat others like each interaction matters,
"How are you" should mean something,
rather than the latter,
Choose
The brief moment where your eyes meet,
let your souls see one another,
Genuine people are becoming a dying breed,
We'd rather share a brief lie neglect our need.
Choose Love
Choose kindness
Not loving people that just fit your requirements.
The choices we make every day will define who we are.

Whisper yet again in my ear tell me I'm not enough!
Deceive my spirit I'll know your hurtful touch!

you don't deserve a word let alone a poem!
Tell me once again how I don't deserve happiness,
that I should question my inherent worth
and think I deserve to be consistently hurt.

Devil you whisper in my ear,
Tell me lies I do not need to hear,
I cast ye from my spirit!
for you do not belong here!
Christ has come to set me free
and it has already been done
it is finished indeed!
I am whole, I am loved, and I am me.

We're too focused to take a breath,
to revel in the breeze,
we'll chase this to our death,
rather than our dreams,
Our search for happiness and adventure gone,
instead we bide our time,
wait around til we're 65,
then we can be truly alive.

our sense of adventure traded for small escapes,
were it up to us would we choose this fate?

We lose sight of our connections,
our relationships being built on proximity
rather than intimacy.

When did we become so concerned with this disease,
this great epidemic,
spreading with ease,
Like a wildfire crackling up, branch to branch,
setting flame to the trees.
I hope one day we'll all see
that being too busy will **** our society.
We'll turn from this and choose to share,
Love will be the priority,
but you get to choose,
so choose wisely.

This thing I thought I could grasp,
Desperately I try to hold on to it,
This thing I never had,
I knew this illusion wouldn’t last,

It disappears as soon as we reach for it,
It’s as thin as the mountain air,

For a moment we lie to ourselves,
placing it securely and safely on a shelf.
Even though it is a forced perception, A contrived illusion.
Once we leave the room...
As soon as we lock and bolt the door...
we wont see it anymore.

We never realize the freedom there is in letting go,

We would be happier admitting this concept is completely fictitious.
We could break this circular pattern, this cycle so vicious.

I've spent too much time trying to hold it in my hands,
Making myself the victim of my own laid out plans.

What! What are you saying ? How can I be?
I must overthink I must display my needs,
I must be continuously in my worry,
In this very situation I can not save me
Certainly not but can You, Can YOU save me?
Will my life end in the middle of this race?
Will I have continually fallen from Grace?
Do I have what I need? Do I have the Faith?
Yet again stuck in my worry shouting
Will you remember me will you save me
Will YOU save me from the, Lonely?
But I hear the same thing,
the same thing that has been repeating,
Just Be

The day that I met you was the day I could be,
No longer am I riddled with anxiety,
if I had never known your love,
I would've never been set free, Sentenced to serve my life as a slave,
looking for my next step in this unending race,
The death sentence of living by my accolades,
Cursed to value my life by my own pride, but I hear the same thing,
the same thing that has been repeating,
Just Be

So ironic that what should have been a casualty,
Would save me from a dark reality,
What is this that God has given,
That God has given to me;
The poetry has a way of setting me free,
Releasing my soul and letting me breathe,
Much like an outlet or true therapy,
Keeping my trepid and jumpy heart steadied,
The darkness will leave me just like energy,
Following the same laws as entropy,
For His will is greater than mine is for me,
The pressure released I hear Him say,
Just BE.

For One brief moment I found this love
This love that I had heard of
This love that heals all things;

This love that floods my soul
Like the water it finds all of the cracks
It breaks down these things I try to hold
Giving me the strength that my being lacks;

A boldness that drives through bitter cold

A bitter cold that I could keep
The one that my soul longs for, for me
So I can make excuses and stay asleep
But He took that away from me
For one moment I am free.

I still love you
But you gave up
It became me working for us
You expecting me to do everything
No longer were we partners
But enemies stealing time from eachother
Youd ask me for a favor and Id give ,

Not realizing I couldn’t wipe these stains clearer,
Not realizing that guy in the mirror
Eventually it caught up to me

That man in the mirror, I couldn’t look at anymore
That man in the mirror, I didn’t know him anymore
Those scars that he bore were ones I never wanted to
Those sins he committed were ones I fought against
This man was everything I didn’t want to be
Yet everything I had to be
at least that’s what you told me