Our nights are seldom
sound
More restless  and
unsettled
Our Mind begins to ask
The bigger questions
of life

As a child
carefree
A day lasted
forever

As a youth
so anxious
To grow up

As a young adult
Restless
To be free of
Our parents
Control
to taste life
Through our own
eyes

Middle age
a bit of
fear
Enters our mind
Of what lies
ahead

Reminiscent Of dreams
Unrealized

We ponder
How old age Will
unfold

As our sprit grows
Meek and mild

Restless and wild
Looking through the eyes
Of a child
Walking slower now
Life means more

We prepare for
The next chapter
Of life old age
Life lessons as our gage
How will that play out

Will we live in pain
Lose our mind
Dementia,
slightly off our rocker
insane

How will our life end
In the arms of a loved ,a friend
Will we be ready
Or will we fear

Did we learn  our lessons
To grown in spirit
I know they say
the journey is
As important
as the destination

However will we ever truly
know our purpose
There are no random accidents
Every action has a reaction
And life’s movements
Ever changing
Emotions rearranging

We are not messured
by our good deeds
But by those who remember us
Relationships cultivated with
God greatest gift of
Love

How ridiculous
I have been
Playing on observance
yet; blind to reality
relentlessly searching
for what I seek
not knowing
why
When contentment was
within my grasp

Impetuous , Impatient, Demanding
Aching For Fresh Meat
Stocking, salivating  
Only to want, then

Imagine ,Dream ,Fantazize  
The Sensation  
To Devour  
Flesh

Man
A Supreme Being is Nothing
In the wake of a Woman
Hungry, for more
She
Allows His Touch

At the age of 17
I graduated high school
The fast track for college
To become a Doctor  
Next logical step; marriage  
had a child at the age 19
age 21 divorced
I was never going to get married EVER again
age 23 I met a man
I met him in a bar
 I did not give them my phone number
but he listened intently
the next day he showed up at my work
I thought he wanted my parking spot
I said I’m not leaving  not recognizing him
I was eating my lunch in my car how pathetic
since he couldn’t take me to lunch
he offered to take me to dinner
from that day on
we were together every day
The third day
he told me he love me
After one week
we were going out to lunch
he said he had a really great idea
I thought he was referring to
where we were going to eat
he paused was quiet
I said that sounds great
He cleared his throat and said
Will you marry me
Did I mentioned he was 13 years older(36)
I said the first thing that came to mind
are you (f word)  kidding me
I don’t even know you
but then when I looked at him
I realized he were serious
I told him ask he again
in a year
Two weeks before one year
He was down on one knee
Now? he grinned
He just knew
I rationalized
If I have ten good years
That would be better then most
36 years later
Still together
So much has changed
Do you ever look In the mirror and wonder
who is that
what happened to me
My dreams, desires and goals,
Who I wanted to be When I grew up
I am in the winter
Of my discontent

My local pharmacy
was exceptionally busy today
Worriedly,I scan the pharmacy line
For any signs of people;
coughing, sick, in any way

I don’t have a mask I’m not protected
My mind is freaking me out
after all those people came
For medication
of one kind or another

People are dying
Have they been around
Someone with the flu
Nursing them, contagious

Nervously I wait.
They call my name
No information,silently
The pharmacist grabs an arm,
sticks the needle in my arm
gives me the shot
Pushes the medicine in
Hands me a paper
Consequently Telling me , as he walks away
“It takes ten days before Your protected”
I sit there swimming with questions
He is gone

As I walk from the store
Several sensations occur immediately
My arm hurts instantly
At the shot sight
Although the needle was tiny
throbbing pain works it’s way
Down my whole arm

By the time I start the car
My head is pounding
Within the first block
My head is pounding so much
It hurts behind my eyes

Anxiety of the unknown symptoms  sets in
I have alway been very careful
Getting behind the wheel of a car
On any medication
“I can make it home”
I chant as I drive
“I’m close, almost there”

My body feels strange
I’m home in 7 minutes
I’m safe breath, sigh relax

My chest feels like someone’s sitting on it
It’s hard to breathe
My oxygen saturation level
drops into the mid 80s

I make sure my husband knows
Where the paperwork is
As I explain to him all my symptoms
Reactions to the flu shot

I feel euphoric
nauseous consumesme, holding it in
Vomiting is dangerous for me taking
time releases medications
I take something for the stomach
Pulling on my pjs And climbing into bed
Making dinner, not an option

I wake up 4 hours later
My symptoms have leveled out
The chest still tight breathing a bit less labored
However,All other symptoms
Have become an aching in all my joints
I mange to eat leftovers
my stomach feels better

My head still in a fog
The next day is a struggle
To get moving
I realize how strong
this strain of the flu is

I get the flu shot every year
And have never experienced
These reactions

I know everyone is different
But take caution when getting the flu shot
Go home immediately afterwards
Preferably have someone with you

The Baby Boomer Generation
was between 1946–1964.
Currently today between
the ages of 57 and 75.
So that would make most
of us still alive and kicking

No, two people experience,
their generation the same.
It depends upon your age
going through the experience
Facilitates our gauge.

These is what I remember along my way.
Details, I leave out the baby boomers will know what I’m talking about.
One of 8 kids I’ve seen many layers
These recollections are from many players
This memory train stops ,Ends 1979

My generation as a child;
Buying our clothes from the
Sears and Roebuck catalog
Weekend chores morning till night
Sunday church, youth fellowship group
A treat to play baseball in the street
First set of wheels a Banana Bike
with high handlebars, Ten Speed bike
We road for miles but never lost our way.
Made and played with Paper, Airplanes,
Lincoln Logs, Click Clacks and Jack’s
We dug holes to make a Mini Golf Course

I sold fruit from our many trees For lunch
money cafeteria food 4 fruits NO sac lunch,
We were resourceful, earning our own way.

The boys had a Paper Rout
The girls Babysitters. I bought my clothes, by the age of 12 with babysitting money.
And happy to doit.!NO more sister’s things
The embarrassment of hand me downs

We covered our School Books with
Brown paper, trash bags, creative Kids used
comics from the newspaper cool!
We walk to school and back, never alone

We dial a rotary phone plugged in the wall.
Dial zero for operator to connect your call
Yellow page phonebook to find numbers.
chores and homework done, before fun!
Boys collected Baseball Cards MadeCrafts

Junior High; The quarterly Shop classes
Boys Only,
Auto Shop, Wood Shop,
Electronic Shop and Plastic Shop
The boys sold what they made
for a pretty penny(expensive price)$$

Drivers Ed
In the classroom and in the Car
The schools had four Cars;
4 kids and the Instructor

Home economics
Girls Only;
learn to Sew, A-line Skirt, Gym Bags
with Embroidered Names, one freestyle project. Anything from Turning jeans into a Jean skirts. Imagination creation,
Original design Homemade crafted gifts

Cooking Class had 7 mini Kitchens
Nutritional well-balanced meals, but my favorite Cake Baking tips and techniques.
We had a lemonade Stand in the summer
Sold Fresh lemons off your fruit trees.
Baked cookies, cupcakes, and cakes as well.

Every meal was made from scratch
Feeding 10 meant more than one batch.
We ate Dinner as a Family every night
Us kids, brothers and sisters were tight
We went to Drive-in, Movies in our PJs
We got our information from Encyclopedias
We waited for the Milkman, and the Helm’s 
Whistle Blow, Diaper Services at the door.
We listened toTransistor Radio on the floor.

My Generation as a Teenager
Bellbottoms and Crop Tops” peace signs”
mini skirts, go-go boots, moccasins beehive
Hair with Flowers everywhere
Bought my First Vinyl Record

Rationing Gasoline;, odd, and even days
By The last digit of your license plate
In 1993 and again in 1997. Gas Ran Out!

Changing the TV channel with the ****
First black and white TV followed by color
FineTune the antenna, rabbit ears for clarity.
We piled in the wood panel station wagon

A Phone Booth on every corner $.10 a call.
The simplicity of it all
Until The Moral pendulum Shifted Society
The shooting of John F. Kennedy
I knows where I was the day it happened
The shooting of Martin Luther King
These two Events shaped our Generation.

The Vietnam war, Kent State Univ. shooting
Our Generation Before
Cell Phones, CDs, ATM, machines, Internet, Pagers, Cassettes Tapes Eight Track tapes
in the car. The swear jar

We barter food, sold eggs Goods,& Serves
Wore Galoshes to school on muddy roads

My generation as an Adult
Neighbors Voted in our garage
Their loving façade was an allusion Mirage  
Never answer “Who did you Vote for”
Airing ***** laundry in public, not smart
VOTING couples screaming, fighting in the street taught me.NEVER talk about;
Religion and Politics. Two Deadly Battles
The price, too High, to lose, your happy life

Gypsies gave daisies At the Airport
Make Love Not War, Peace bohemian style
California rock ‘n’ roll bands in the city
And to the sand, Artistry in the air
Music flourished,Bands played everywhere

The Doors, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd,
The Beatles, , Crosby, stills, Nash, Young
Simon and Garfunkel every day fair
Woodstock a whole other scene
To describe it, you had to be there

Drugs,;mushrooms, ***, psychedelics, acid
Roxy, & Rainbow Club where the weirdos went or Chinese tour buses,
filled with people dressed in 60s wear
Men wore a camera around their neck, Hawaiian shirt, black Horn rimmed glasses, Ladies poodle skirts with Peddicoats and white button down blouses and sweaters
in the 1979. I kid you not. strange people!
I wanted to ask what movie they saw that made them think this was California style?

Car Races on Van Nuys Blvd.
Parking with your boyfriend
Teen center held under 21 Dances.
The San Fernando Valley(Valley Girls)
Really said “for sure”. “Totally awesome” “whatever” “ not even” “ As If”

Orange Grove and walnut trees as far as the eye can see. The city Tarzana was named after Tarzan. South of the Boulevard 4 miles from Michael Jackson’s house. Modest home. Difference as night and day

Curiously, I never thought we were poor
We were rich in love, and that was more than enough. Help a friend in need
Because it’s the right thing to do.

people were people, Just getting along
Decent folks Kind and Caring,Sharing
God-fearing Christians, Moral Values
Live and let Live. The American Way

Will you... walk a while with me
Along my painful way
A love whose heart has eyes to see
When stars shine over the darken sea
The quiet rest at the end of the day
While all else sleep I cry and prey
Will you... walk a while with me
A friend who knows and cares to say
"Stay strong my dear I am always near"
Sweet words that cheer my questioning heart
No matter how distant we are never apart
Will you... walk a while with me
In spirit you take my hand
With tearful eyes I search for answers
In the kindness of your soul
Until the pain will let me go
Will you... walk a while with me

Realistically You can’t hide when your
emotional enemy resides inside
Your actions you ,can no longer abide

Your soul Haunted to the core
Satan always knows the score
Prey for repentance once more

Proverbial Time heals the soul
yet guilt ridden emotions take their toll.
This storm working to your end goal

Our staggering resilience to live.
Gradually, we learn to forgive
The alternative world drain like a sieve

Survival demands a yearning to grow
Which facilitates a learning to let go.
On the other side a better life you’ll know

In your minds eye , Emotions can’t hide,
You’re just a smile away, on the other side
Let your morals conscious be your guide

It’s sad
      how the people
             you were once
                 so close with
                        can become
                       just another
                     stranger
you don’t know

Inspired song
1) You’ve got a friend by Carole King

They say (whoever they are )
We are the sum of
All events in our past

Exsperiences
Are what facilitate us
With who we are today

They say
We spend our whole adult life
getting over our childhood

I say
do not let your past dictate
who you are
rather
let it assist you
with
who you want
to become

Screaming
At the top
Of your lungs

Never trust
The wrath of
An angry Tongue

Your mind Racing
Vengeful
Outspoken

When your heart
is shattered
Broken

Quiet your Head
Less
You regret
What you have said

I lay my head upon my pillow
Trying to get some
Much needed rest
My mind and brain at war
Neither one keeping score
The holidays are over
Yet
Bless with family visits
Keeps me busy still
Caring for everyone
And satisfying few
Pets
Needs feeding
Children need
Loving
My chores
More difficult as I age
But love and laughter my gage
The trade off is worth it
I’ll sleep when I’m dead

Getting to know my poet friends
Is more then just the means to an end

I’m learning to navagate this site
What each catagory mean in its own right

Clues to poets you can find
If you only take the time

Since many have no bio to  reveal
Through their poems learned crumbs one can feel

Also who have they chosen as the poet’s they like
Following the clues is like riding a bike

Favorites is a good place to start
These clues are more then a stab in the dark

You can read poetry that has touched them in some special way
While also reading what a new voice has to say

It’s a win win if you ask me
Because I’m rather an open book you see

There are many times when I too hide in plane sight
Those are poems for another night


Inspired song
1) Watch the detectives by Elvis Costello
YouTube

I am new to this site
I have to ask why
so many people here
Use a lower-case i
Is there a trend
The reason why
Grammatically correct
To verify
No longer apply
Free verse poetry define
Free of limitations of
regular meter or rhythm
Artistic expression
Yet if your purpose
Is to publish
The capital i(I) shows
You Matter

I met my love at a pub
Drinking a pint of brew
We fell madly in love
Before I really knew

However I had an issue
He had a tattoo of his exwifes name
On his upper arm
TRISH

Outwitting an unwilling participate is a hard thing to do
Especially when the other person doesn't have a clue
The humiliation my cause for alarm
We needed to find a solution Before there was further harm

I sweetly batted my eyes and suggested
He add a line under the letter  T
changing the name from
TRISH to IRISH
HELL NO he replied I'm not Irish

I held my temper at all cost
I began to think the situation was lost
although my blood began to boil
We needed to find  our way through this toil

I stood my ground
I smiled speaking in the sweetest voice I found
leaving him no choice but accept my wish
WELL DARLING I'm not TRISH

He wondered how he would feel making love to me
If I had another man's name from him to see
His compassion saved the day
Understanding how I could feel this way

My darling love drinks a beer
To celebrate St Patrick's Day cheer
perhaps to remember the sacrifice he made to get here
Few know the story behind the tattoo he holds dear

Word to the wise
Think twice
about getting a tattoo a loved one may despise
A tattoo is like going under the knife
Your choice lasts a lifetime
Happy wife happy life

A theory at birth the human mind is a blank slate
We teach our child to; love, live, hurt, and hate

  Prejudice judgments, we make them
often every day
Yet, we are embarrassed when our children repeat what we say

We blame others when our children regurgitate
Children are sponges they listen,learn, reverberate    

To say your child didn't here or understand You
Its' irresponsible to have that point of view

Music, TV , friends, inappropriate behavior is all around
Truth be told Christian values are hard to be found

Your child was a gift entrusted to your care
We live in a time when evil is everywhere

We are molding young minds into who they will be
We need to be diligent good against evil only time can forese

If you are married or in love Valentine's Day
Comes from Heaven angels up above
Deliveries to work; are gifts of candy and flowers
evening plans, a romantic candlelight dinner for hours
followed by hugs and endless kisses
many sweet untold wishes

However; if you are alone or single
this day is an empty heart that sadly tingles
Valentine's Day is filled with regret and used-to-be's
one by one your coworker receive their deliveries
thier glances of pity and sympathy deepen your pain
hoping for the Day to end before you go insane

A commercialized day every place, in your face
now lonely bitterness are your grace
hurtful memories of an old world versus new
dinner for one instead of two
No I do not like Valentine's Day
I wish it would please just go away

There was a time when I too received deliveries
before the day of now and my miseries
the man I love did not come home
I spent Valentine's Day staring out the window alone
I cried myself to sleep
I thought life could not be more skin deep

He came home after a night at the bar
he had brought me flowers yet left them in the car
The next day as I awoke
not a word between us we spoke
he put the wilted flowers in a vase
you had to have seen the look on my face

The once beautiful long stem red roses had wilted
like our love empty and jilted
I silently took a pair of scissors without dread
Snipped the Roses one by one at the base of the bulb head
My husband said nothing only shook his head in shame
silently I set the scissors down without placing blame

I have never received flowers to this day
  we never speak  of it, what is the point anyway
Valentine's Day is a day to rub in your face  
now lonely bitterness are my grace
No I do not like Valentine's Day
I wish it would  please just go away

It has been brought to my attention
that two people from
Hello poetry
are trying to track me
for purposes unknown.
My iPhone alerts
me daily of such
dangerous.
It could be quite possible
there is more than one
name of these particular individuals
but it’s something to be made aware of. Kim Johanna Baker and Pamela Ray
come up with daily tracking on my phone.
I have not posted in quite a while
so imagine my surprise
I wonder if anyone else
has come across something similar?
I have notified hello poetry.
I wanted to bring it
out in the open to other poets.
It’s quite possible  
there are more than one
of these people   on this site
with the same names.
so PLEASE
do not attack these people.
because we don’t even know
if it’s them or somebody
posing to be them.
I never thought
evil intentions  
would come to this site.
stay safe and write on!

Seize the day
I thank the Lord
For making it that way

I wake ready to start my day
A clean slate listening to Gods will
Clear minded with much to say

I walk the dogs each day
They are ready to explore
Sitting by the door in their special way

I praise God for giving me today
30 shades of green a tranquil walk
Visiting the neighbors, dog do talk

The return home is the same each day
The dogs walk slower wanting to run and play
Fresh air, wind in my ,hair without a care

Creative juices flowing, I walk and pray
Rejuvenated and ready
To start my day

CARPE DIEM

When I was  a child
we dressed up
for Easter Sunday
I wore white gloves and  tights
a flower dress and
white Mary Jane shoes
With white double lace ankle socks
To top off our outfit
an Easter Hat
We were allowed
to decorate it
to match our dress
We sang
“ I wore an Easter Bonnet
With pretty flowers on it”
In fact
The whole congregation
wore a sea of
brilliant colored hats
Flowers tulle and lace
it was our
Sunday Best
My mother wore a mantilla
(A lace covering over her head with a pearl straight pin )
A sterling silver and real pearl rosary and
Her glove collection was something to behold
Today Easter Sunday
Now
no gloves
No Stockings lace
No Easter Bonnets
not one
In fact it could’ve
been people at Walmart
or going to the park
in jeans T-shirts  thongs
nothing special
It saddened me
Times are changing
And not necessarily
for the better
Happy Easter
God Bless

Many kids go to wild and exotic
Ports of call
Some do nothing at all
My grandson made a choice
He wanted to help use more then his voice

My middle grandson is my  sweet honey
He called for help for money
He was going to Mexico with the church youth group
To rebuild three houses to help families recoup

This trip wasn’t free
there was a fee
Five hundred dollars each
They were not just sitting on the beach

The week is done
The church made work fun
But more importantly
Families gained stability

The choices the youth make
Will be remember values resonate
My grandson walks a little taller
He gave more then just a dollar

He gave love

Peter
Loved his wife of 14 years
He put her through school then
She left him broken hearted in tears

His life would never be the same
He started his downhill spiral of shame
Besieged with self doubt and blame
He turned to drugs to hide his pain

Christmas 2002
Peter came to my home spending his last dime
I did not know I would be seeing him for the last time
we laughed and drank a few beers how does that song go?
"still crazy after all these years"

I was in tears my marriage was dead
I told Peter of my escalating fights,
Every detail of the devastating words said
My marriage was on its last thread

Peter made me promise
Not to leave my husband having hope for my better life  
He told me living was not worth it without his wife
I promise to give my marriage one more try
As we hug and said goodbye
A pain in  my heart, a tear in my eye

Peters flew home December 29, 2002
for our (oldest brother's)  Birthday
My three  brothers we're going to play
Peter had four motorcycles and was giving one away
If they each had a bike they would have more fun
To take long bike rides in the sun

The video camera rolling my brothers wife asks;
Aren't you afraid that you're going to die?
NO said Peter and here's why
" if I die riding my bike don't be Sad , be glad ,
I wouldn't died doing something I loved"
(An hour later God had taken him to heaven above )