Riots are natural disasters
occurring due to toxicity in the political climate
and we’re experiencing global warming.

People look for a leader
to restore the atmosphere
but find politics instead.

Tides are shifting
as cities crumble
the earth quakes for oil.

Fires emerge
as buildings crumble
and consequences are met.

Scientists agree on the problems
but not the solutions
although a good start to solve them
is to stop the pollution.

I fell in love with you
More accurately
I fell in love with the feelings you transferred into me
But those mutinous emotions betrayed me
The moment you did
The withdrawal from your love was too intense
I desperately needed something to replace those feelings

I always said I could run from anything
as long as it didn't involve running
But after walking with you for so long
It's hard to change my pace
The path too tough to face
Your memories fueled the chase
Until I found my escape

The kneading needles turned me fetal
Shocked my veins like eels
Fetuses aren't the most ambulatory
The race became a marathon story
Your effervescent ghost pursued me
Breaking the sound barrier to reach me
I floated vacantly in the stew of your noise
The needles touched me
The way you wouldn't
The needles bled me
The way you would

Then the race ended as abruptly as it started
Only to begin another race
...But things were different this time

Slugs waved as they passed a sprinter
Tormented by a lane filled with needles
The hostile crowd watched with pity
As a once great athlete
Was forced to acknowledge his janitorial duties
The fickle mob cheered with triumph
Upon his valiant return
He was quicker than ever before
And the masses exalted him
He ran faster than everybody
And waited for nobody
Anxious they might reveal his secret
That his speed was derived from his feather weight
After the needles hollowed out his insides

In my mind there’s a thirst
For pain that’s the worst
So I self impose a curse
Until I’m ready to burst

My mind drifts to the ugly
That endlessly bugs me
Things seem so lovely
But my mind is hungry
For war drums drumming

In people
I find evil
They’re so jingoistic and aggressive
Following anyone they find impressive
Until they’ve reached the zone
Where my negative mind goes

In love
I find shoves
Would he love me if I was *****?
Would he love me if I was burned?
I wonder what it will take
For me to be spurned

And God
I find odd
Would God allow me to **** myself?
Or would he send me to the pits of Hell?
Where I could drown in a bitter well
Regretting trading my life for a cell

My mind goes to the darkness
In the ocean I see a shark’s nest
So it becomes my dark quest
To join the heartless
By forsaking my own empathy
Until there’s nothing left of me
So I can ignore the theft I see
Inside this negative mess I bleed

In my neighborhood
Your hedge presses against my hedge
In my dreams
Your leg presses against my leg
In my neighborhood
People hate me
In your mind
You overrate me
In my neighborhood
****** burns the sorrow
With you
There's always tomorrow

Neighbors are the worst
They unquench
Labors of thirst

They're also the best
When it comes to people
They're the rest

If you could do me a favor
And not be my neighbor
I need you in my house
You're stuck in my head
You're my louse

Then the neighbors foreclosed my home
Morphing me into the roaming gnome
Does a homeless man have neighbors?
Like a wild dog
With no bone to savor?

It just breaks my heart
When people run each other off the road
With their hate filled cart

In my mind the roadblock is your face
Through the window I see the hate
We'll use my roadblock to erase

You’re gone and not here
by God that was my worst fear
as I sob my heart hurts the worst here
worse than anything since my birth year.

They say you had a good run
they say you had good fun
I want to buy a good gun
to **** someone for saying something so dumb
I guess it’s better than saying so what
but this pain is driving me nuts
but it’s all I have left of a tie that was severed
all these moments I remember
are my ties to the nether
at least I was telling the truth
when I said our ties would last forever.

We are afraid of new information
for fear of what lies in the unknown
fundamentally
this is expressed through horror movies.
New information is a chance to scare the audience
utilization manifests in
turning on the headlights
(What is in front of us)
or closing the medicine cabinet
(What is behind us).
Some people tell themselves what they’re seeing isn’t real
others use comedy to cope
with the new information acquired
and the horrors that lie within it.

Oh, what a horrible night
Definitely not late December back in '63
These are the Frankie valleys of my days

Night is always black
Night always comes back
Night envelopes us in the abyss
And makes us cherish light
Heightening our senses
To help us handle the unknown

When my days are filled with stimulation
The stillness of night sinks me
Into quicksand mixed by
The current of my mind
Overflowing into the sands of time
And reminds me
Of the stillness of my eyes locked on you
Or the stillness of my actions as you walk by
Or the stillness of my heart when you call me a ******

My frustration boiled
Night's black tar
So I bottled it up
Placed it in a syringe
And medicated my love with darkness

I worked my first job at the local Kroger's
People would leave with everything they wanted
And I'd push their empty carts back into the store
The artificial lights of the street lamps
Lacked warmth
Their hypnotic buzz highlighted
The stillness of night
Making me wonder if there was any way I could be happy
Similar to when activity would die down in rehab
A pitiful wretch left to his faculties
I'd stare out the window
Into the concrete chasm
And wonder if happiness could be found by someone like me

Night continues
Night confines
Day comes
And goes
Night returns
Night reburns
Night relearned
I really hate to see the day come to an end
It'd be alright if I was on the bay with a pen
But I live near sulfur vents
Inside a searing tent
Where the hellacious temperature rises rapidly
Despite the absence of the sun's warmth

The hellfire of night
Reminisces of those
I have thoroughly failed
And my overwhelming remorse
As I stare out my window
Into the bramble ravine
I wonder about the possibility of contentment
The stillness of night answers me
But at least now I can open the door
And charge into the night headstrong
To search frantically
For someone who
Erases my history
And writes my future
And makes me wonder if I could ever be happier

I am haunted in my sleep
By a series of surreal scenarios
I have a nightmare problem
A mare is a malicious goblin
And the night is when he visits me
He straddles my chest
Until my brain divests
All my hopes and comforts
Replacing them with fear
My body he magically steers
With his mystic voodoo potions
Through the mountains and oceans
So I wake up cold and wet
And a negative mood is set
For all day I constantly fret
Worried of the goblin I’ve met

My tormentor rides a steed
Through the field of dreams
Of my unconscious stream
Showing me sights I’ve seen
And that my plight’s unclean
By displaying giant girders
Keeping me trapped with murderers
And people I love
Giving me shoves
My dreams compare pain
To dying in an airplane
How many miles will it travel
Until my brain finally unravels?

I live in a flurry
Of a world of worries
Where I must always scurry
So when I sleep
I need to escape
But the goblin creeps
In my meek state
It causes deep hate
The inability to relate
And a singular choice to deflate

Negativity has me bested
When I’m not well rested
From my mind infested
After the demon tested
The bed that I’ve nested

The nightmares I’m catching
Seem to get quicker
The pain that they’re hatching
Makes my light flicker
While I hear trolls snicker
As the time on my ticker
Keeps counting down
No matter how much I bicker
I still hear their sounds

The demon imp
Gave me a limp
To make me a wimp
Cowering from the flak shroud
That is my black cloud
The goblin slapped down
I want to back down
But there’s no back now
Once my mind’s a packed town
From all the goblins I’ve found

I just thought you should know
it doesn’t matter if you stay or go
we live in a grave of souls
as slaves in tow
behind time and weather
like free floating feathers
slowly turning into leather
until we can float no more
like a boat with no shore
submerged underwater
with no dirge for the slaughter
we’re just purged to the bottom
as we swerve down this slalom
to the base of our column
where we find the mystery of death
before figuring out life
the whole time we’re in debt
until we see the light.

Nostalgia
Notes how the
Crowd's love
Creates a glove
To hold in for some
A place to return as they wish
For a familiar dish
Of childhood bliss
Or love's first kiss
Whatever is on their list
Can be internet fished
From favorites
To savor it
To lead you
In a redo
Of our prelude
To see through
Ways we grew
To slay the blues

When I get low
I take the retro
Midnight metro
To what I know
Like Streetlight Manifesto
Or DJ Tiesto
Then presto
The mess shown
Gets blown
From my comfort zone

What has been
Planted a tree
To set me free
From weather I flee
But the better I see
The lesser I need
The veteran steed
That salesmen breed

A Donkey Kong
Smoking ****
Sings a song
That's a con
Pretending things last
But what's passed is past
We must focus on the blast
Currently guiding our ship's mast

The nostalgia driven
Culture didn't
Make me livid
But the insipid
Use the internet
That can intercept
Interest
In the mess
That's our pest
Their ignorance
Makes the difference
In my regretful inference
That nostalgia's innocence
Was erased by impotence

What's up?
Not much
what about you?
Not much too
I have bad luck
and work *****
my life is stuck
and I'm out of bucks.
I know right?
Good night.
Maybe we can talk tomorrow
filled with guilt and sorrow
our connection is this hollow
I wonder why you even follow
I don't want you to stall though
because I'm there as far as the wall goes
but you got me singing alto.

I just want to know how you're doing
and be a part of your beautiful life
but to frivolous things I'm gluing
when I only hear about your night
because the things out of sight
are our real plights
tightly sealed fights
with shame and spite
this game gets light
with someone else carrying the weight
not of what celebrity I hate
but my mental state
and fears of fate
let me hear you say
you know a better way.

Let's relate through culture
to avoid the vicious vultures
that make our souls hurt
and focus on what bolsters
our growth and development
for love and the hell of it
to observe your mellow wit
between kissing your fellow lips.

We have personalities
we're allowed to see
crying and howling
to be accepted proudly
instead of constant doubting
after a not much text
a rock rough hex
leaves me vexed
not thinking or learning
I'm sinking while burning
for my secret yearning
of a way more journey.

When
Where am I going?
and
Where have I been?
have the same answer
it’s nowhere.

Transcendence is a lie
you’re not above it until you’re there.

Hedonism is a lie
once the costs start to add up.

Altruism is a lie
when living for others is living for the self.

There’s nowhere to turn
once it’s your turn.

Is there any way to save us from life
other than death?

I use numbers to grade
Your varying range
From strange to deranged
Until you're a number in my brain
And I become numb to all the pain
That's the total sum of your game

I am in heaven
When you turn it up to eleven
You give me a five
To keep me in line
You tell me I'm average
I tell you you're savage
You're no longer my hero
Once you hit zero
You fall off the scale
After you bail

There is no number
You fall under
After I hear your thunder
And I can't feel your heat
I grade you incomplete
Or maybe that's me
Thinking of what we could be

Through those elected
deceptive meets collective
tearing down monuments erected
to deny dominance projected
but the counterculture
hounds and vultures
shroud the souls hurt
with shouts of sulfur.

The goblin fray
waddling parade
ballista barricade
sends us on the path of the dodo
dipping cheese in the snow cone
as we freeze for our photo
of an apocalypse in slow-mo.

We break by blade
so we brake by day
they break like they're paid
to brake in the way
which adds thirty minutes to my drive
because two cars collide
on the median's other side.

Battling babble
rattling rattles
adding addles
to paddling paddles
fighting against the current
of the unobservant
dumb obscurants.

They only want to confabulate
to *******
the master state
and master race
obfuscating the rhetoric
using anger to redden it
once you get ahead of it
they ask you to take a sedative.

I'd like to live in a grassy township
instead of this trash heap brown ****
but I'm massively bounded
to the ones who found it
from the other side of the bath
they brought their wrath
to set our path.

The blasted puppeteers
laughed for ******* years
now collapse in sudden tears
projecting their own worst fears
on their imperiled peers
who are scared to steer
near the flying spears.

They want to annex the city
of the loving and living
for their own selfish bidding
using obstruction for corruption
like injunctions against inductions
for interruption dysfunction
at our most pivotal junction.

Assaulting offense
halting progress
absolving nonsense
as purely God sent
is fought with reason and logic
so we bring them their audit
but they use thick ink to blot it.

We found the virus
but we can't cure it
until we've silenced
the obscurants.

Gather 'round children
To hear the story of
Obsessionman
Our extremely watchful protector

Bitten by a radioactive trumpeter at a young age
He obtained the super power
Of constantly thinking about the moment he was bitten
His power only grew stronger with time
When people told him his power was ****
His power grew
When people mentioned the toxicity of his radioactive waste
His power grew
And when he encountered his arch nemesis; the trumpeter
Everything grew

You should've seen how fast he flew
He soared quicker than
All the ******* he had once considered important
But when flying at such high velocities
Civilians become interlopers
And interlopers become super villains
Which is no laughing matter
Aquaman went comatose
And Comaman got aqua toes
Sacrifices we were willing to make
But then God intervened
And Obsessionman ***** Him
Which we all agreed was kind of ****** up
Decidedly so...

I mean...
What can you say about your hero when he ***** God?
But that's the beauty of Obsessionman
All he requires from us
Is our disgust, indifference, and hatred
To feed his strength
Until the day he is powerful enough
To fulfill his destiny
And face his arch nemesis
The trumpeter

I thought you were a cute
Until you began being obtuse
Forcing me to see through your ruse
But if you could stand in my shoes
You'd know what it's like to lose
The chance at your treasures
And feeling your pleasure
Because you're an endeavor
I would rather sever

You're purposefully vague
My mind perilously plagued
By what I did to deserve this
To be put on your haughty list
On the other side of your fist
I see through a ****** mist

The script of your crypt nondescript
Frustrating me until my mind is ripped
By the confusion
Of your illusion
Of passion and beauty
When you see through me
I look to other places for love
Instead of your obtuse mug

Two men square up
in an octagon
they circle each other
they try angles
to find the wrecked angle
to reach the top of the pyramid
for a diamond reward
to make life on this sphere bearable
because deep down in our dome we know
we preach the Holy Triangle
but ignore the lessons of the cross
hope takes the shape of its negative container
which is half empty so we’re always divided by two
the octagon mentality is reflected in the Pentagon
people fill rectangular plots in the ground
while others profit from manufacturing projectile cylinders
hiding behind stars and stripes
while we fight one another with dollar signs
in the eyes ovals stream from
we see the trapezoid we’ve built for ourselves
where our circular lives take the shape of a fist.

I’m starting employment
And ending enjoyment
To pay a boy’s rent
Despite annoyance

I’m a lowly novice
Taking the oath of office
With a loathing toxic
Making me noxious

My paperwork
Pays for dirt
Removing smirks
Where I lurk

Their affidavit
Clearly stated
I’d be slated
To be deflated
And degraded
While placated

It taunts me
With the daunting
And haunting
Task of bonding

Floor tiles
And files
Drain smiles
Until I’m defiled

In a complete trance
I stare at sterile plants
And dance a feral dance
With a domestication chance

The trite lights
Are quite bright
And smite kites
To fight flight

They know how to handle a vandal
Just make him wear sandals
To discourage scandals
And extinguish his candle

The timeless
Shineless
Sign says
Clear your table before you leave
To keep the cafeteria clean
So garbage remains unseen
In this horribly sanitized dream

I’d like coffee
But that’s not me
I’ve become Ghandi
A passive zombie

Eventually I figure let
Me have a cigarette
Waiting in the bigger net
Until the trigger sets

They steal my soul
Once I’m told
I’ll get gold
If I fold

Stuck in the clutch
Of a financial crutch
Without any touch
It becomes too much

The walls are caving in
This place I’m slaving in
To avoid my lazy kin
Becoming a crazy djinn
Conjuring sin
So evil wins

I can’t pass this test
At my desk
When the best
Bet on themselves
Putting products on shelves
While I’m stuck in this cell
Of an office hell

A kerosene
Pharaoh leans
On barreled dreams
With feral teams
Using gasoline
To mask the screams
Of the last to breathe
On the path he weaves

His petrol
Gets sold
To fretful
Death droves
Chaos enfolds
Compounding tenfold
In this hell we’re stenciled

They’re fighting over a commodity
Using false dichotomies
Haughtily
Making others duel
Over fossil fuel
To say who rules
Which seems cruel
So they fill textbooks with lies
And put a gun in my hand
If I give a vexed look I’ll die
So I give in to their demands

I’m too blind to see
The refinery
Assigned to me
Is designed to be
The life I lead
For lies of greed
Making the sky bleed

We shoot chemicals into the sky
And deep into the ground
Never stopping to ask why
We hear a rumbling sound
And all the animals around
Have turned upside down

Getting oil
Is deadly toil
But not for the royal
Who’ve never touched soil
They’re too busy trying to foil
Anyone trying to save the planet
Anyone trying to use compassion
The prison door they slam it
Saying we don’t have enough rations

I become a head nodder
Eating lead fodder
As a pet otter
Clapping for treats
In shameless defeat
For the ruling elite
On a shrinking iceberg
Showing what my life earned

Some people are born on third
and think they scored a triple

others are just happy to be single

I was born at home
and couldn't get on-base

I was caught looking
so I decided to take a walk
stealing to make it a double

but then I was forced out at third
because someone already lived there.

During this shutout
I look up at the scoreboard
which makes me want to score more

but the pitchers are warming up
and my destination is the dugout

praying for competent teammates
or extra innings
to carry me to another at-bat.

I never met you
Every day except one
You didn't mind calling fun
Everyone else said I was a faithless sinner
After being part of these one night winners
The kind where we skip dinner
And go straight to bed
While in my tornado head
I am haunted by these idiotic thoughts
Despite what my lonely life has taught
I yearn for all the pleasure you brought
To fill all my days
Like the sun's rays
Instead of responding with nothing
Leaving me in the dark
Thinking you're a shark
When we shared a spark
But you casually smothered the infant flame
So I'm glad I don't even know your name

On one side of me lies one
on the other side of me lies the other.

The one is the one
the other is the other.

The one separates me from one another
the other turns the one into just another one.

There is no other one
so all the others are ones.

Stay with the one
or be the other.

One or the other
pick one.

Life is meaningless
Life is pointless
Is anyone seeing this
Disappointment?
I become avoidant
From annoyance
I slip into a depression
Bringing an obsession
Of not learning lessons
Just getting high every second

I’m ****** in strife
Not living the examined life
Against a canon’s might
Loaded with grams of white
Shooting me high as a kite
So I can ignore my plight
Of having to fight

The murky waters shifted
Into my blood stream they drifted
I was euphoria gifted
Learning to be lifted
I became a hedonistic
Phenom misfit
Talking cryptic
And apocalyptic

I see the haughty led
Talking heads
As the walking dead
Stalking dread
They want me red
But their haunting bled
My arm instead
The only blood I shed
Is from my carnal bed
On the path I tread

A needle goes in
Blood comes out
I live in sin
I live in doubt
Looking for an escape route

I’m a cynical buyer
In a situation dire
Sick and tired
Stuck in fire
Becoming a liar
To get higher

Trust has disappeared
But I am still here
Filled with fear
Not knowing which way to steer
I try to act cavalier
To placate the cattle here
But I live in the saddest sphere
Even though I’m in the stratosphere
I see madness near

I can’t keep it civil
With my head on a swivel
Wearing the addict’s sigil
Track marks mean no acquittal
So subterfuge is pivotal
All communication is digital
When I have to hide my visual

I have no grace
I’m given no mercy
Every decision I face
Ultimately hurts me
Making me *****
From what I’m observing
And for what I’m deserving
Because of truth I’m deserting
To stay on the line I’ve been skirting
With death who’s been flirting

All I want is to binge
On the swamp in my syringe
On society’s fringe
Because once the ****** goes in
I can see heaven in hell
By ignoring the smell
Of where I dwell
In a euphoric shell

When all that remains
Is more of the same
I pray to the lord for rain
To wash my spirit away
So I can be a hero slain
Rather than singing a loser’s refrain
You pass these people everyday
They’re roadkill in the street
By the time you look in your rear view mirror
The vultures are back to eat
Gnawing their bones to defeat
Until they’re stripped of all meat
And their skin is baked in the heat
Their eyes melt staring into the sun
Once their blood is diluted by fun
So they can no longer be the one
Transmitting Jesus’ love

A lot of people
Say religion is evil
But I don’t need to go to a steeple
Or take a bunch of college classes
To learn opiates are the ****** of the masses

After going to law school, my knowledge of law
                                        gives my legal opinion more credibility. After going to medical school, my medical opinion
       has more weight than a layman’s opinion. Yet I could
  study politics my whole life and my opinion
  will always be conflated with casual opinion.
          They say, “Well, that’s just your opinion.”.

On a certain level, political ideology is based very much on opinion.
Do you favor austerity or charity? Do you favor justice or mercy?
These fundamental philosophical questions don’t have clear answers
because of this many assume politics is completely based on opinion. There is a foundation of knowledge and introspection that must be built to functionally manifest the desires of your political ideology.

Therefore, one must determine a clear ideology
based on logic and reasoning.
One must take time to intellectually determine their priorities
and vision for the world.
Otherwise, one is unprepared for political discussion.
If one is unprepared for discussion
they’ll probably obfuscate the discourse.

My current president, Donald Trump, is a perfect example of not developing an ideology. All of his views are reactionary so it’s difficult to know his stance on any given topic. While allowing for more potential flexibility, this has negative impacts like adding needless chaos to the stock market and general uncertainty in the minds of foreign leaders less willing to conduct diplomatic action.

A former presidential candidate, Ron Paul, is a perfect example of developing an ideology. I generally know how president Paul would act; with Austrian economics and libertarianism in mind. If I agree with these concepts more than any other candidate’s, I’d feel comfortable defending his opinions because they’re concretely based in well defined political theories. This can have negative impacts when you’re ideology becomes so rigid compromise becomes impossible; I get the feeling Ron Paul would shoot the economy in the foot out of a blind faith in the free market.

   Your ideology shouldn’t be as loose as Trump’s
                     or as stubborn as Paul’s
but it’s a good idea to know what your ideology is.
Not knowing your ideology puts you in high risk
             of shouting reactionary nonsense
                     or not participating at all.

If you believe in God, it is your duty to participate. If you hope for the evolution of humanity, it is your duty to participate. All that is asked of you is to clearly understand your opinions and your arguments for your belief in them and keep an open mind. This may seem simple but there’s plenty of people who simply react to whatever happens to be going on and conflate other well developed highways with their dirt road.

They say, “Well, that’s just your opinion.”

Opinions are like *******, they’re usually ****** and nobody wants to be told how to clean theirs up, myself included. Most people live pretty clean lives anyway, but once I start to smell ******* I show them my opinion.

Orange orange everywhere
Orange orange in the air
I’m given an orange despair
By a man with orange hair
I see through his orange glare
To see nothing really there

A man became president
Promising to evict residents
His stupidity self evident
When he says nothing relevant
About all the topical elements
He just talks for the hell of it

He’s unfit to lead
Because he’s equipped with greed
And an unwillingness to read
Gaining success from his family tree
He lives the American dream
By making others scream
To indulge his team
And his bigotry

All it took for his courtship
Was a culture of celebrity worship
And idiots buying his horseshit
Of acting remorseless

The gullible are impressed
With how well he is dressed
So they think he’s the best
Putting him in a wing that is west
Because he has a lot of money
But without any capability
You better start running
Money let’s him **** willingly

He takes advantage of the stupid and racist
By pointing at people with brown faces
Saying they’re here to replace us
Like they’re working for Asus
And not mowing his lawn
He said they will **** us
To manipulate his pawns

He’s a megalomaniac
Who thinks he’s a brainiac
But it’s a brain he lacks
To understand the impact
Of his negative attacks
Still he thinks he’s a genius
Which justifies his meanness
So his cruelty is seamless
While he claims to redeem us

This is our most vulnerable hour
With a president compromised by foreign powers
Building ivory towers
By turning minorities sour
There’s a litany of reasons
Why he calls them heathens
But it all revolves around freedoms
Being stripped from those who need them

His constituents have their heads in the sand
So they blindly give in to his demands
Going after whoever he’s ******
In the name of this land
Other kinds are banned

You can tell the bad guys have won
When they start separating mothers from sons
At the end of a gun
So there’s nowhere to run
Away from the oppression
Of our downward descension
As he does nothing to lessen
The root of our depression

His concentration camps
Give a **** slant
To his lofty plans
Until no one can stand
Without a weapon
Because of his deception
Which was his intention
To win the election
He promised detention
Of the boogeyman mentioned

The red, white and blue
Adopts an orange hue
When the foreign lose
From the fascist bruise
Of an orange noose

I don’t want to live as a loner
So I become an ***** donor
Words compose my heart
I develop into art
That I impart
To those looking for blood
And those looking for love
While both push me in mud
Until my insides are no more
Through the divide I soar
To implore for the end of war
But the world keeps turning
Like the people lying on gurneys
Who’s depression has them hurt me
So I try to give them my eyes
To keep them alive
But much to my surprise
They say they want to die
When the whole point is to survive
So I offer them my legs
To help move them ahead
But they just lie in bed
Wishing they were dead
So I offer my exhausted lungs
To help them breathe
To climb the ladder’s rungs
So they’ll be set free
But they don’t want my disease
And prefer to wither in the breeze
On a time killing spree
Lamenting the life they lead
To me it’s kind of funny
If I offered drugs or money
They’d be jumping like bunnies
But instead they hunt me
For telling them what they don’t want to hear
That they’re the driver and they must steer
So I offer them my ears
That ignore their fears
But since it’s not what they want
They claim I tease and taunt
Saying I’m giving them lip
Without the quips
Just the whip
In my insensitive grip
But I’m trying to give away my brain
To block the reality show refrain
That numbs their pain
Making them empty and hollow
My shell of a body will soon follow

I'm extremely disorganized
I don't know what belongs where
Take my eyes for example
I can't find a place to rest them
I tried setting them on you
But everyone agreed that **** wasn't working
They explained that an organized man
Adheres to categories
And you and I
Are not of a kind
I attempted to argue that you organized me
My heart
My mind
You folded me neatly
When you beat me
You always made sure to set me aside when you were done with me
You'd place me in a bin
Or release me to the wind
Yet there was a burdensome fault in my littered logic
They explained that an organized man
Is clean
I must use eyes that are sanitized
To see how we're not categorized
And avoid your matador eyes
Because things will get messy
When the bull in your fists
Sees the roses in my heart
My humanity starts to part
And my wishes I begin to opine
For the nature of a bovine
So I wouldn't misplace my eyes
And be what I'm classified
But that nature eludes me
As do most things
On account of me being disorganized and all
But I'm a quick learner order burner page turner
I may not know what belongs where
But I know I belong neither here nor there
Making my eyes not belong anywhere
This is what develops my entropy stare

May 5, 2021 Madison Square Garden
Washington Capitals vs. New York Rangers
there is a tense atmosphere after a fight
between these two teams in the game prior
the Rangers are looking for revenge
against the Capitals and the NHL
and are only interested in fighting
but there is a quieter storyline developing as well:
TJ Oshie returning to the Capitals lineup
after being out for a handful of games
while grieving the loss of his father
so nothing was expected from him except getting reacquainted
with the game his father coached him to play
between baseball, football, basketball, and golf
and pow wowing with their native Ojibwe tribe
while living with NHL forward Henry Boucha
to the point TJ called him coach instead of dad.

With all the history and backstories
the actual game had to start at some point
and it started with three fights in the first second
there would be more fighting throughout the game
TJ Oshie had never been too interested in fighting
he was interested in playing hockey and that's what he did
in a game where the other team was trying to
teach the league a lesson
by attacking the integrity of the sport
TJ Oshie taught a lesson
by maintaining his own integrity
by playing the game his father taught him to play
instead of playing into the negativity and violence around him.

The first period had six fights and even more penalties but no goals
the game had become a sideshow to the sideshow
but Oshie came out of the intermission determined nonetheless
scoring a goal in the first twelve seconds of the second period
it was clear he was thinking of his father as he wiped his face
some of his teammates offered their own brands of support
and then he went to the faceoff circle for play to resume
but had clearly angered the Rangers
who would challenge him to a fight
that Oshie would turn down
to the boos and jeers of a rabid New York audience
but that decision paid off
when Oshie scored the second goal of the game
midway through the second period
and although this lacked the emotion of the first goal
it was a productive way for Oshie to pay tribute while playing.

By the third period things had calmed down
enough people had been thrown out of the game
that both sides didn't want to push their luck
and were on considerably better behavior
and seemed like they were just waiting for the game to end
but TJ Oshie's legs had been moving all night
and they continued moving
pumping through pain and loss
scoring one more goal wasn't going to bring anybody back
but this wasn't about resurrection
nor was this about scoring
this was about being
somebody who puts in maximum effort
and one more goal came as a result
creating Oshie's fourth career hat trick (he has five now)
and as a couple lonely hats fluttered to the ice
Oshie was embraced by his team
congratulating his accomplishment
admiring his resiliency and capability
before returning to their spots on the bench or ice
leaving Oshie alone on the bench
putting his head down
to silently reflect
on Henry Boucha
on the Ojibwe tribe
and on the game he played tonight
and the way he played it
and the coach who gave him all of those things.

Our world passes another at close range
we can see the inhabitants of the other world
waving to us—planning on passing through
but our gravitational fields switch
and we fall into each other's worlds
seeing the beauty of what the other has experienced
before we hit the ground.

I said this year’s Oscars slapped
you said nobody says that
so I said it’s all copacetic
I’m a product of my time’s word aesthetic
so I’m deadass proud that I said it
without regard to whether it’s respected.

People used to ignore jokes in poor taste
and accepted that pandering had its place
but since then we've had an about-face
and now look to callously race
to moral judgment instead of grace.

The right is more malicious
the left is more annoying
they all sound like *******
with the tactics they're employing
making rhetoric vicious
so discourse starts destroying
both sides' wishes
for positive change
because lobbing grenades
has made us deranged.

The right burns books like Maus
the right burned down the house
the left wants to sterilize society by judging my propriety
and taking away the ***** things that have delighted me
virtue signaling violently
both sides' bile blending
into arguments unending.

They assign an extreme value to minority status:
which is the raddest versus which is the baddest
the nature of these arguments is madness
quibbling over The Little Mermaid's blackness
we need to relax this
nationalistic mindset
not get behind it
while the country is divided.

Now the only reason to cross the aisle
is to call the opponent a *******
so it's been a while since that word has had meaning
other than Facebook feeding nightmare needing
fever dreaming conspiracy reading
fools following the lecherous leading
us into becoming stuck with nothing to discuss
other than manufactured disgust
man have I had enough
of incendiary bluffs amounting to dust
encouraging purchased pistols to bust
for paper saying 'In God We Trust'
while believing political lies
like the accusations that fly
from the internet hive.

The country is Turning Red
because the green m&m
is now sexually dead
and Taylor Swift said
that she felt fat
so we attack
going off track
like when we crucified Cuties
it's an excuse to forsake our duties
anything with ****** and *******
gives us the fire to act rudely.

This is my fear:
******* about Lightyear
will bring years of night here
when the sun never shines on the cause
because people can't ignore or press pause
more important issues can get lost
and we won't count the cost
through frivolous frost.

So what if a movie studio makes a character black?
So what if the NFL's rules are a bit lax?
They're more worried about the estate tax
and we can all agree they ain't that
thing to end the schism
yet we cajole with derision
with puppet strings just out of vision
moving to industry's rhythm
away from personal wisdom
into the day-to-day we stay
concentrating on collisions.

The day is overcast
From an ogre blast
Of the covert class
Giving a motor mass
About a potent past
Building a molten mask
To avoid the token task
Of fighting the coldest clash
To break our coated cast

They only help
If it's for wealth
Then they stealth
Once it's dealt
Until they melt
Into their belts
Providing welts

Prioritizing financial impunity
Over helping their community
Then asking for social immunity
After all they do to me
Being so rude to be
Hopelessly glued to greed
Until we are blue and bleed

They kick up dirt and flee
Into sandy eyes that plead
But as far as I can see
Vultures are flying free
Over the uprooted trees
Conquering overseas
A manifest destiny
They claim is for me

They won't take a leap of faith
Life for them is keep and take
Saying let them eat cake
Over the bones we break
Because the serious stake
Is our entire life's fate
Yet they can't relate
So we live in a state
Of being an inmate
Of their opulent hate
So they can feel great

Clouds cover the sky
As clowns suffer and die
Because we suffer from lies
Of the ***** drawn flies
Blocking the sunrise

Pain is the payment we pay
to do anything worth doing

The rivers channel rain
The way I channel pain
I begin to see the futility
In denying pain's utility
Pain takes on a ****** nature
And becomes my intellectual savior

I shatter the mirror
And swallow the shards
The pain becomes clearer
So my ******* get hard
Glass fills my lungs
They're profusely bleeding
From words that stung
Being my daily greeting

***** shoots out from my gun
When I cut myself for fun
My hose starts spewing
Once vultures start chewing
It's the only way I can cope
When it's pain that gropes

I live in a world that mixes *** and violence
I live in a world that mixes *** and silence
Where the painkillers
Become the pain creators
And our life's filler
Is being pain traders

A bull has charged through my library for a decade
At this point every bovine movement cuts like a blade
He creates pain that lasts
When every day becomes my past

I had a dream
A sorcerer controlled my body
But he only wanted pieces of me
Bones started snapping out of my skin
Blood spurting everywhere
I awoke to ***** down there
I guess life isn't always fair
When I dream to avoid stares
The real pain comes when I care

When the privileged boycott
The impoverished boy's cot
He learns to ******* in the streets
And gains an appreciation for feet
Feet that trample
The pain is ample
When people powerfully push him away
So he decides to go against the grain
But there's no peace to be attained
And all he's left with is pain

You **** me
I **** you
muslims I see
killed by jews
no one is clean
muslims **** too
when will we be free
from this dogmatic glue
asking us to pick and choose
who we should kick and bruise
until we're sick and lose.

Neither side is too witty
doing the war machine's bidding
fighting over a magic city
for their brand of madness to be winning
the wheels of capitalism spinning
which has arms dealers grinning
due to population slimming.

I sit on the sidelines
wishing I could buy time
to write the right line
serving as a lifeline
to end the Palestinian oppression
and both of their aggressions
but I get the impression
there's no single lesson
that will cause deflection.

I honestly don't know why
people feel the need to pick sides
right wingers **** ride
everything the Israelis try
while some on the left decide
the Palestinians are great guys
I'm just tired of the blatant lies
based on each given state's size
the way both those snakes slide
to sympathy saying their victimized.

Neither side is a gracious host
both sides create hateful ghosts
for control of the coast
for control of the most
for control of the boast
of which religion has dominance
and which one is toast
not receiving the world prominence
of United Nations votes
so they build their moats
and block the other's boats
fighting over a hill like goats
people ask me which side I dote
and I just say **** them both.

I'm the paper man
I witnessed you drop your papers
And refused to help
Because I'm a rolling paper
I'm never stationary
When I float in paper planes
My life starts tearing
When your presence equals pain
For I only saw you
With my paper view
We couldn't be two
When you're pay-per-view
I live a paper life
When the date never leaves the calendar
And people enjoy the satisfaction of cutting me
Like I'm construction paper
So I build to block them away
My face becomes paper mache
Searching for another way
I found relief in a bottle in a paper bag
It wasn't long until I saw the red flags
In the government serving me my papers
Even though I denounced them as takers
They kept pushing paper
My life regimented by municipalities
Burying me in paperwork
Like the employment I attained
To make my life spill off the page
And bleed into your's
Otherwise
Life's a paper chore
And the pirates keep stealing papyrus
That's alright
I've become the paper King Midas

I’m moving through glue
Of life without you
In an adhesive zoo
Giving avian flu
So I can’t move
In this groove
Where I lose
To my muse

At your beck and call
My engine stalled
So I walk this hall
Free-for-all

Walking home
Is walking alone
Destination unknown
I’m a walking drone

I find a new car
But cannot go far
Once the oily tar
Creates prison bars

Cars have slammed
Causing traffic jams
Like the trap of man
Living hand in hand

Double barrel lies
Have me paralyzed
Scared to try
A stare at eyes

Satan’s will
Has my body still
Anxiety filled
Looking for a pill

The enemy
Is sending me
Messaging
Threatening

The once unbridled
Now sit idle
Using their title
To stop others’ vitals

This quicksand
Kicks the ******
Sickest man
So he can’t stand

Tires flattened
In sheets of satin
They start to fatten
Into General Patton
On a treadmill
Death hill
Where pests ****
My best skills

No detour
On this meat skewer
Where the elite lure
Those who are bluer
To be their bruiser

I find no leeway
On the freeway
Where speed craze
Gets greed praise
So the meek stay
In concede lanes

The gun toting
Fascist voting
Authority doting
Have me floating
When I should be boating

I challenge the world to a fight
And lose to my first opponent
Pathetically crying all night
I thought heart was a stronger component

I can’t stand minds
Of land mines
That span my
Whole **** life
The things I know
Create traffic cones
So I have nowhere to go
But low

I defy the slide
Stuck in the divide
I don’t want to glide
But commit suicide

The liars grinning
At my tires spinning
Increase their sinning
Once they know they’re winning

Dragons fly
In the sky
Passing by
My passive life
They look down on me
Their talons I flee
But fire they breathe
Scorching me deep

I once had you
Now I have them
I’m stuck in glue
That is their phlegm

I am me
Until I am not
In the eyes of those who aren't me
Their perception of my ulterior motives pierces
every joke, compliment and remark
I attempt to burrow out of my chamber and into their's
But I find only confusion
Did anybody notice or care?
And if they did
Did they care about me?
Or the facade I built to buffer honesty?
Disgust is spelled on the faces of those forced into proximity
They view me as the canary in the coal mine of their life
Their contempt shocks stillness into me
Could we go back to pretending I'm human?
Are they putting salt in the wound to preserve it?
Or am I the remnants of a wasted youth?
Or a constant reminder of failure?
Do I help lower the bar to their own self worth?
Maybe I'm just paranoid
Is what I tell myself
To feel better
And I can drive down back roads all my life
But that won't erase the shame I feel of the car I drive
People sense my deviations and act accordingly
Their words spray like a flamethrower
Scorching my defenseless heart
And although my sympathy goes out to the innocent civilians
who were also hurt
I was mortally wounded
The well just continued to get deeper
I am haunted by what lies underneath
Afraid any passing archaeologist will dig it up
And share his discovery with the world
Then where will I hide?

I committed a crime against the state
I effected the money oligarchs make
So they send me away to deflate
Inside a prison estate

The punishment of prison isn’t enough
They want my life to be extremely tough
So they take an unknown parasitic bug
And inject it into my blood

They don’t care what it does or where it goes
Because the main goal
Is that it’s painful
To satiate the disdainful

So I’m stuck in this prison
Because of our decisions
I have a parasitic incision
That starts blurring my vision

In prison I see things bleakly
And my eyes start leaking
On the verge of weeping
Until the bug starts speaking
Telling me not to show weakness
Because I’ll just sleep less
If I display any meekness
I’ll surely reach death

The parasite replaces my eyes
With its own advice
Of not acting nice
And being cold as ice
As it crawls through my skin
Teaching ways to win
That are quite grim
And mortal sins

The parasite tells me the only way to survive
Is to create an environment where evil thrives
So I start sharpening shanks
Like the military manufacturing tanks
Stockpiling my weapons
While I live in deception
Hiding my deviousness from the guards
Whose giant targe
Gives vibrant scars
Behind prison bars

They put me in solitary confinement
For my humble consignment
But my bumbling mind went
Following my blind pet
Telling me to keep fighting
In this tiny room without lighting
It’s the only way to feel lively
When I know I’m slowly dying

The bug says I’m weak
The bug says I’m lonely
So I desperately seek
A way for people to know me
So I spread my **** on the wall
Looking for an officer to brawl
Once the extraction team is called
I don’t feel so small

In a prison of concrete and resentment
I’m drowning in indefinite detention
Which was the intention
Of this sadistic invention
But they forgot to mention
That innocent people end up here
I barbarically **** to inmate cheers
Feeling only hate and fear
The parasite enters their ear

I have gained a paternal responsibility
But I feel a different response filling me
Constantly itching from a million flees
Begging to get me out of this please
So in my mind unseen
Resides a murderous dream
To subtract from my team

I fall into a landslide
Of infanticide
A lioness eats her cubs
As a baby drowns in a tub
Before they reach the age
They acquire our rage
We devour our babies
Before they contract rabies

We're brought together by proximity and origin
By who we were forming in
This connection of chance
Determines circumstance
Guiding our circle dance
With random music
We take whatever we can
Until we lose it

A possum's mother dies
It has no time to cry
It must continue to eat
So it feeds
Like its mother in heat
Had to breed
In order to not lose
The child chews
In a world of me or you
The child chews
Instead of feeling blue
The child chews
Its mother's fur stuck in its teeth
It stays there to provide heat
The parent provisions from beyond the grave
Will get the possum through this ugly day

From possum to person
I can't tell which is the worse end
For there is flesh stuck between my teeth
Like a Christmas wreath
Where what lies beneath
In a readily equipped sheath
Is patricide or matricide
I can't decide
But must abide
To survive
The purgatory
I see surging toward me
So to move forwardly
I must live forlornly
After feeding on family
Company becomes fantasy
Learning no one can handle me
They're just meals I'll eat handily

I eat my relatives
In this hell I live
Where what I give
Is the gnashing of my jaw
To follow a universal law
That says scratch and claw
Until I meet God
Expecting my parricide ways
Will garner divine praise
But for everybody I slayed
My soul was filleted
Now I only see grey
So everyone looks like my father
And I say welcome back Kotter
As I yearn for my teeth to be hotter

I want you to know how I feel
but my words don't reach the extent necessary
to let you know what is real
that I want to be your emissary
but I act so wary
like an actuary
with a knack for staring
judging passing cherries
as cassowaries.

My frustration grinds through a mouthful of teeth
because of the fountain of heat
that lies beneath
my sword in sheath
melting through its protection
bleeding from the rejection
of your outward inflection
thwarting this coward's intentions.

I miss you but I don't even know you
I want to kiss you and hold you
but the issue to that bold move
is that I don't know if it'd go through
like Father Time's sand
passing through my hands
******* I'm an old man
from your cold canned gold jam
I'm sold bland then soul slammed
by Conan
The Barbarian
in my solarium
solitary terrarium
where nary a sum
equals more than one.

We were equally matched
Until a plan was hatched
You became the subtle aggressor
By making appearances lesser
Using your passion aggression
To steer a passive direction

You perform a vanishing act
By canvassing flak
Balancing black
Against a sky so blue
Teaching me that which is true
Is different from what I knew
So my anxiety naturally grew

You launch a resistance
By remaining silent
On this plane of existence
Where you're the pilot
Not taking the right angle
Into the Bermuda Triangle
That is your social sphere
Where you disappear
From committal fear
Of love being near

So I throw a search party
But your presence is tardy
Because you're departing
On the journey you're starting
Without me
Slouching
From my submission
To your anti-admission
Splitting our position
Like nuclear fission

The air has become radioactive
Through light that is refractive
Through ways which are retractive
Living this ugly way to live
Sharpening my shiv
To escape this cell of decay
Where flowers bloom and fray
But can't see the light of day
Not one ray

Stuck in the marked moor
Of this dark war
I use parkour
To avoid aggressor attacks
Never cutting me any slack
Bringing pain back
Until I crack

Lost in your blank expression
I make a grave concession
Enslaved to your impression
Yet afraid of your aggression
Caught between
Taking heed
And fulfilling needs
Born from greed
I'll only impede

You scream aggressively
Like you're ******* me
Just by addressing me
After making a mess of me
With deafening quiet
You attack with a diet
Of a steady riot
And I won't buy it

You left when you were here
But stayed once you weren't near
You switched to a guillotine gear
Based on how you wanted to appear
Striking me from the equation
By utilizing deflation
For a sinister elation
You removed our relation

There are players in the penalty box that don't belong
Because the refs start tripping
When people skate on thin ice
But they're not fighting
Or slashing
The winning team keeps them down by charging them
Until some go to the box just for boarding
And that's only the icing

It's difficult to not misconduct yourself during this game
When the score is ran up
By a team with a wall for a goalie
And a rifle for a stick
They score when we hit the post
Yet we're penalized for trying to achieve our goals
Forcing us to defend
As they shoot at us
For being on a different team

We need to make a power play
And **** some penalties
Don't fear too many men on the ice
The gloves come off but it's futile
The refs never wore gloves to begin with
And apparently don't need them the way I do
I sit on the bench in defeat
Praying they have a ****** overtime
Because right now
In the time of regulation
We're stuck on ice
As the scoreboard hangs out of reach above us

There are places that shine at night
Those are called homes
There are places that are never bright
Those are called tombs
So what does it mean
When I sit alone at home
Stranger to a light never shown?

There are people who think they have my back
They don't know where my back is located
Or that I'm impervious to the attacks
Because my stoic back is gold plated
And those that stand behind me
Feel free to chisel chunks
Pieces fall off me as their lives grow richer

There are bars that block my freedom
These are called cells
All the stars have mocked the kingdoms
Before they fell
There are things that last
And things that pass
Like broken glass on the grass

No freedom or friends
Or home to mend
My heart's broken parts
Sorrow ramparts
Guard my frantic mind
From your barbaric kind
Until I'm trapped with only people I love
I begin to hate myself
Because I love them so much
There are people I cannot touch

If you see one snowflake dropping
you don’t have to salt the roads
but if it’s snowing bad enough
then yeah you salt the roads
depending on severity
you might even ask
people stay inside.

As a small child
I constantly seek any kind of discovery
But things get wild
With what the kitchen cupboard brings

Without my shepherd
I grab the pepper
I don’t know what it’s meant for
So in my hands it’s centered

My eyes start to tear up
My nose starts to tingle
My fingers will clear up
This temporary wrinkle

I rub my eyes
Bringing demise
Violent cries
Follow pries

All I feel is pain
Surging to my brain
In my eyes torrential rain
Burning me until I’m insane

All I see is red
Inside my head
From pepper fed
To my eyes of dread

Father grabs me
And holds me under a faucet
I think he’s attacking
I think he’s lost it

Help he’s killing me
I’m going to drown
With water he’s filling me
So he’ll no longer frown

But he pulls me out before I die
Much to my surprise
There’s no pain in my eyes
And I can see my father is wise

I mistakenly
Thought he had forsaken me
And was murdering me blatantly
But he was actually saving me

So it’s him I trust
Because I must
But I have a lust
For wild gusts

So I am his student
Yet not as prudent
I’m always truant
Ignoring influence

But I pick it up along the way
Just before my life decays
I recall a helpful phrase
Or words of praise

I get lost
But then I am found
The only cost
Is to think I have drowned

I'm younger and far left
He's older and far right
And he's my godfather
And I'm his godson
Long after I flushed the holy water down the drain
Our relationship has remained the same
I guess we're all somebody's child
And if we have to call him God than so be it
Because sometimes I wonder
If we didn't know each other
If he'd think I was a ******* ******
Or if I'd think he was a **** bigot

You say you’re the perfect puzzle
and I’m just a crooked piece
that refuses to fit in.

You say I’ll never grow up
yet you’re Impeder Pan
living in Betterland.

If one is good and two is better
then you are two
and I am zero.

You say a blank white canvas is perfect
and my paint only obstructs the view
yet my blank canvas is just nothing.

I never live up to your measurements
because you only measure once
before you begin cutting.

So you give me a test to rate me 1-10
and tell me a perfect score
is the number one followed by a zero.

You ask me to rate Kevin in Kelvins
expecting me to cynically sell the Celsius
as not as fair in height as your Fahrenheit.

It sets you off
knowing I was turned on
like the freeway exit away from you.

You say I can’t see the forest through the trees
I say you’ll see the forest once you’re on your knees
then you say you will be a plains walker as you please.

You plant charges of C4
telling me “expect to see more”
submerging me under the sea floor.

You say the end
justifies you being mean
which just means being average.

You cut the cord
before I can pull the plug
once we’re at the end of our rope.

You say you’re perfect
as long as you’re without me
finally, something we can agree on.

My personality
Is the totality
Of the modality
That powers me
Hourly scouring
A culture souring

I begin to listen
To what glistens
Forming opinions
Gaining dominion
Halting my pure idolatry
By installing an ideology
Using this idol ecology
That falls upon me

I'm my own personality
Personified
Developing individuality
Is part of the ride
To not be as trite
As the banal blight
That dims our light

Uncertainty
Is hurting me
The introspection
Question
"Who am I?"
Dooms my mind
Clues I'll find
In due time
So I climb
But I slide
This "what am I?"
Pantomime
Slants the grind
Into being blind
Far behind

How will I change
Or rearrange
From the strange
In my range?
Will I be the same person
Or a traveling merchant
That sells then sails
From a personality stale

Born in a different time or place
Born of a different gender or race
What would be the problems I'd face?
What would be the benefits erased?
How would that effect me?
Would anyone protect me?
These worries are dissecting
With perspectives infesting
My mind directly

Every day a sequel
I become different people
Morphing my weak soul
Because of my meek hold
On the personality steeple
That makes this deep hole