Gather 'round children To hear the story of Obsessionman Our extremely watchful protector
Bitten by a radioactive trumpeter at a young age He obtained the super power Of constantly thinking about the moment he was bitten His power only grew stronger with time When people told him his power was **** His power grew When people mentioned the toxicity of his radioactive waste His power grew And when he encountered his arch nemesis; the trumpeter Everything grew
You should've seen how fast he flew He soared quicker than All the ******* he had once considered important But when flying at such high velocities Civilians become interlopers And interlopers become super villains Which is no laughing matter Aquaman went comatose And Comaman got aqua toes Sacrifices we were willing to make But then God intervened And Obsessionman ***** Him Which we all agreed was kind of ****** up Decidedly so...
I mean... What can you say about your hero when he ***** God? But that's the beauty of Obsessionman All he requires from us Is our disgust, indifference, and hatred To feed his strength Until the day he is powerful enough To fulfill his destiny And face his arch nemesis The trumpeter