love
love is so easy
with you

my fingers trace the corners of your face,
relishing in the rugged and fuzzy sightline of perfection.
twirling your soft hairs between my calloused skin,
i could do this forever.
curled up in bed, your warmth is a fireside flame of protection.

in the most difficult days of my life you’re by my side
in the most horrific experiences you show me the way
with your hands outstretched and your gorgeous smile

i think i could accomplish anything in this world.

his slender fingers reach
for the nape of my neck
I think he’s leaning in for a hug
but his hands rest comfortably
around my throat
tight and snug
my circulation slows
his sharp nails are digging into my skin
my hands are too weak to contest him,
the blood draining from my veins.
he pushes me up on the wall and grins
as I’m left to thrash against his grip and charm
the static drums loud and clear behind my ears
“really, darlin’, what’s the harm?”
inhaling my scent, filled with fear
his voice is just above a purr
I can’t believe I’m choking,
but I can’t believe he’s here.
his hold slacks, and I can whisper
“but I love you…”
a playful smirk is plastered on his face
and he licks his lips, murmuring
“you smell sweet…”
before diving in for the ****
he kisses me, hard and rough
last bits of air dwindling
and I am left
breathless

i sit with my legs uncrossing on the toilet seat, 7th period
smells of puberty
of wasted ambition and scathing regret of everything
of whispered secrets and sore thighs, ***** dripping out between your lips into the bowl
of tortured angst, of pulling your skin taut and drawing the blade against you over and over, for trusting someone like him
of hope that the next day will be better than today (it isn't)
of high school.

your hair’s so **** distracting
it’s gorgeous, yes,
slicked back or even gelled up into the punk rock staple
of I hate my parents
but it pulls me away from your face
like a sucker for half-assed romance novels
your doe like hazel eyes
draw me in
your bumpy nose
rocks against mine and makes me giggle
your lopsided grin
makes it so easy to get lost in kisses
but when you’re screaming at the top of your lungs
about how much ******* hairspray you need for the next show
it gets me wondering
and wondering is always bad, but,
did it ever occur to you that girls will still love you even if you don’t grease your hair up
did it ever occur to you that I will still love you
but then again,
you’ll eventually just get a haircut

No longer a sapling,
But a budding fruit tree
You try to blossom,
But it never works out-
Whether it be forces of nature or
Your own hesitation

This time, it’s different.
Joy is meant to be released,
In the little seeds
That have begun to sprout

Your curve is fading,
Gradually rejoining the rest of your trunk
You have borne your fruit,
Yet a bite of this apple leaves me
With a sickening feeling that
It was never ripe

she closes her eyes to sleep at last,
to visit her lover beyond the stars
to laugh and smile
to pretend for a while
he holds her close and whispers to her
lovely things
she loves him but he doesn’t love her
at least he doesn’t know it
her eyes flutter as they are together
not as long, because he has to return
but before he can go back he gives her a departing embrace
with tight fingers curled around her throat
flush pink skin turning such a pretty hue of aqua
and finally, he lets go,
dropping the girl out of her dreams
and she wakes up
with a blue laced neck
and a sorrowful message from the dead.

you press your lips to mine
and a new sensation travels
from the contact
spreading all the way to
the tips of my fingers to
the ends of my toes
this unfamiliar pulse
is slightly frightening
but, oddly enough,
above all else,
is exciting
and sends a shiver down my spine

a happy hum slips past my lips
while your arms encircle me
and for the first time
in forever
i feel like
i’m at peace

my bones will settle into the ground
remains of an unnamed turned to dust
but will they even remember
a man whose cause was brave
a man who died in vain

what is left of us now?
forgotten deeds
and desecrated graves.

you tell me my ribs look like a butterfly
about to soar into the warm summer night.
I must agree, my chest cracked open
my flesh exposed to you, bare, naked
just for you.

I try to speak, but with my lips barely parted
only blood can dribble out, down my chin.
you straddle me, and drag the blade
further down, past my torso.

the skin around my pelvis tears open
with blood bubbling nauseously
around the open wound.

a burning hot tear slides down your cheek
and you murmur that I was pregnant.

my shallow breaths tell you that
the baby was yours.

my skin feels so tight, so overpowering,
so wrong,
and my eyelids slide over my vision,
casting me into a searing darkness
one last time.

I finally adorn myself with
these wings of bone
and fly free.