I want to scream
Until this emotional ache goes away
I want to yell your name
And have you tell me everything is okay
But I know that won't happen
Because she's with you

I don’t want you
Can’t you see that
Can’t you leave me alone
Because when you aren’t here
I can ignore every part of me
That’s screaming I still want you
So just stay away now
Please
Why do you have to tempt me
With your devil smile
And your wicked tricks
Don’t draw me near
Just to push me away again
Because I don’t want to want you
Anymore
I hate you with every part of me
Everything that I am
Hates you
And what you did to me
And I wish you would keep away
So I wouldn’t have to hate myself
Wouldn’t have to hate every part of me
That longs for you
Still
Keep away wicked man
Keep away from my fragile heart

I let different boys touch me
Because I wanted to know
Even for a second
What it felt like to be loved
Even if the love was cheap
And it tasted like ***
Like the punchline to a joke
I never got because it was me

I let different boys have different parts of me
Parts they didn't deserve
But I offered up willingly because I couldn't give anything else
after you broke me
I was looking for different fingers
to place different pieces and hoping  the outcome
would be a masterpiece
Maybe one of them would find a way
to cover up the handprints you left all over me

I let different boys touch me because I had to prove to myself
you wouldn't be the only one
that these scars marking my body wouldn't define
my worth to be loved
I am not entirely sure  
you aren't the only one who could ever touch me without slightly  flinching

I let different boys touch me because that is all I have been taught
To be a joke
To be silent
To be ready to give until you have nothing left
- they keep leaving me and I am to scared to offer up anything more than my body to get them to stay

Sailing through storms, lost at sea
Two ship search for love, they plea
Lost in the unknown, two ships
But relief was found on your lips
Not knowing what we found
A love, or lust, or trust inbound?
Ships tethered together tightly
Surrounded by chaos, so unsightly
But your eyes like the ocean
Slowly swaying me, a beautiful motion
I didn’t know I was searching for you
I didn’t know what I could do
‘Til I found your touch
I couldn’t get enough, to you I clutch
Feelings of adoration, giving me inspiration
Appreciation so strong, my salvation
Chaos ensues over the sea
Two ships search for love, they plea
Untethered by contract made too long ago
One made before truth I didn’t then know
Longing for each other, but belonging to another
Should we even bother, to go undercover
Or brake free and together always be?
Tell me if you can, are we forever lost at sea?