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Life is not about brevity
Any more than longevity.
It is all about what you do
With the time that is granted you.
At times I wander far….
Far away from all human habitats
Away from all prying eyes
Following the bent
Of my vagrant inclination;
Into Nature’s sylvan pockets
To places studded with trees
To the tranquil ***** of the woods
Or
Onto the heights of bald looking hills
Where shrubs struggle to strike root
From the cleft of rocks and ledges
Where in hollows, wild bushes grow in clusters

To watch the shreds of hovering mist
To gaze upon piles of sailing clouds
To shout loud and whistle long
And to listen to the hills
Mimicking my own sound

There I will hop and jump,
Like a sprightly forest fawn,
As I don’t fear
Either the silently gliding streams,
Or the clump of swaying trees,
The host of wild flowers,
Or the monstrous mossy rocks,
Either the birds or the beasts

Never will they watch my cranky pranks
And call me a loony
As here my own men might do!
All I am allowed to be is a purse
Looked for to be held underarm
My existence made into a curse
Like grass in your tidy farm

I take your name, your identity
You own me, and I am your property
My words means nothing, like jingling keys
I am like a dog kept to stay on a leash

I wait on you like a servant
Prepare your bath and wash your clothes
When it comes to my needs you are adamant
I do not count, I am a necessity you chose

You purchased me from my parents
Now I owe you my life and existence

Our children are yours
But mine to look after when crawling on all fours
When they do good, you take credit
When they fail, your accusations I merit

I become a shadow moving in your patriarchal world
And you wield the authority as a warrior's sword
You don't protect me with it
But stab my heart continuously until there is left no beat

And in the end
I am nothing but the carrier
Of your seeds that
Populate the earth
This piece touches the experience of women in societies that are patriarchal and a woman's place is disregarded. She's looked down upon and not allowed to have an opinion even in her own home. Unfortunately, this is the plight of the women in the society I grew up in. One would expect that civilization and advancement in the state of mind will curb this, but no. Modern day women are still very much oppressed.
I hate myself for wanting you
You dominate my thoughts

I hate myself for trusting you
You hurt me just like they did

I hate myself for hanging on
Seeming so desperate to have you

I hate myself for loving you
You clearly never deserved me
The noise is extremely loud
Beating with my heart
My soul feels like it's on fire
Wide, blue and endless
His infant eyes gazed, amazed
On his evening stroll.
I appear where bold people speak
I precede intention
I breed expectation
I rarely reside with the weak

You can recognize my symbol
You can use me in your tone
I am neither proud nor humble
But I prefer to work alone

I would like to haunt you
Sometimes, I'll taunt you
Until you say something
Back to me.

**What am I?
Hard working people
don't lack negativity;
They lack apathy.
D. J. Syngai©
What I did, intervening with your life was wrong
I'm old but I pretended I was young
And you've played along, treating me like a sister and a friend
I'm horrible but that's something you refuse to comprehend.

I don't think you love me cause you still don't understand
That despite my past and failures, I am still a man
And I don't want your love any other way except unconditional
I don't yearn for pity because I'm unforgivable.

You should have left me ages and ages ago
But then I would have left you too.
There's no way you could warm my stubborn old heart
With no flame in your eyes, not even a spark.

I don't think you love me cause you still don't understand
That despite my past and failures, I am still a man
And I don't want your love any other way except unconditional
I don't yearn for pity because I'm unforgivable.

You should have kicked me out ages ago
Now I constantly feel guilty and ungrateful.
You always treat me like a sister, daughter, friend
I'm a man and that's something you refuse to comprehend.

I don't think you love me cause you still don't understand
That despite my past and failures, I am still a man
And I don't want your love any other way except unconditional
I don't yearn for pity because I'm unforgivable.

Don't give me pity because what I did was unforgivable.

12th May 2016
This is a poem I wrote yesterday when I was feeling upset. Because I inhabit the body of a girl I loved, everything that she should have has been given to me, hence feeling guilty. Nobody understands that I'm a babysitter most of the time except I'm in the body of who I look after.
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