What the hell did I just do?
I've finally done it.
Once everyone hears,
my barrier will be gone.

I made myself vulnerable.
Allowed them to hear my poetry.
My poetry,
which is mine.
My poems are for me.

Now...
Now they will all see my insides.
All the pain.
All the tears.
All the...me...

All the me,
which I did not want them to see.
All the me,
which I have spent years hiding.
All the me,
which no one wants to see.

I have finally done it...

****.

For B,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I cannot bare to speak to you.
I'm sorry if I hurt you.
But most of all,
I'm sorry you couldn't love me.

And if what you quoted to me was truth,
I miss you too.
And what you thought was correct,
I am trying desperately hard to forget you.
It's just not that easy.

I wonder if you still think of me.
If you still check up on me
As I do you, more often than I'd care to admit.

But darling if you ever read this,
I want you to know
That I did love you.
And despite everything I still do.
I'd give anything to erase these past few months
And go back to how things were
When I could hear your name without wanting to **** myself.

I miss you,
Love,
              L