i think it must have been

all those shooting stars

that we saw

on our first few nights together

and for each one i saw

i wished for you

and only you

The last thought before I go to bed
Is always a handfull of the same things
-how should I be feeling right now
-I hope I didn't hurt anyones feeling that didn't deserve it
-you
-the sky is nice
-so are trees
-you
-and bees
all of those things are great, but also in some way bring great pain,
almost
Like a
pure grief

And an upset stomach,
last night I did something bad, but that's
every weekend.
soemthing stupid for a spark of laughter happiness and
masking how I feel and what's really going on
I need to get it together.
but somewhere in my mind is telling me other wise.

"Darling, if you really loved me you would make it sure.
Darling, if you really loved me you would keep us pure.
Darling, if you really loved me you would leave me alone and know that we are noxious for each other.
Darling, if you really loved me you wouldn't have said those things.
Darling, if you really loved me you would take things for a walk and settle it before evening.
Darling, if you really loved me you shouldn't have taken advantage of the fact that I was so stuck on you!
Darling, you if you really loved me you would've
You would've."

His scent was strong when I put my chin on his shoulder.
he enveloped me with wet arms and soggy hands.
we laughed and talked in the rain.
saw lightning, and I felt the sparks.
soft hints
And nervous actions.
I love the way you make me feel
a light kiss goodnight