The Lonely Remnants

The Lonely Remnants May 2018

Breathe in, breathe out, then die.
That’s what I’ve done for the past 4,271,344 seconds, and I’m exhausted.
I don’t want to breathe anymore.
I don’t want to do anything anymore.
I’m not even scared of dying, I am so so scared of living though.
I wrote them a letter about who I am.
Who I am is not what they want.
Maybe it’s my fault for lying in the letter, I told them I was happy while holding back tears.
I wonder when my lies will stop being enough for people to stop checking on me.
Give them a smile, tell them “I’m okay”, and they’ll leave you to pick yourself apart.
I’m so tired.
And my ribs feel so heavy.
But don’t worry.
I’m okay.
I’ll just breathe in,
Breathe out.
And die.

A ****** poem for ****** feelings

#sad #depression #failure #breathe #die

The Lonely Remnants Jun 2017

Everything was a lie

None of it was real, was it?
You told me you would never intentionally hurt me....
You told me a lot of things..
You could have made things so much easier for me,
I would have preferred you to beat me until I couldn't walk,
I would have preferred for you to just leave me,
I would have preferred for you to be honest for once,
I would have preferred for you to **** me with your bare hands,
I
Would
Have
Preferred
Anything
Else
Because even the times you forced yourself on me,
Didn't hurt this bad,
Because at least then I could tell myself it was because you loved me,
You said you did this because you wanted to hurt somebody,
Well, you did,
Me.

He broke me again

#liar #cheater #destroyer #hurt #pain #crushed #broken

The Lonely Remnants Aug 2016

Tides

When the waves rose up behind you,
And began to drag you away,
I threw every piece of me out to keep you afloat,
I couldn't let you die,
I would sooner rip myself to shreds to save you,
But when those vicious currents came after me,
The undertow swept me away,
And you just watched,
You were too scared of the water to help me,
I understood why,
No one had ever been willing to possibly drown for me,
I just thought you were different...

#love #pain #hurt #ocean #waves #drown #tides

The Lonely Remnants Jul 2016

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

From your perspective this cage may look like a home,
But on the inside it looks like a prison,
Sometimes you let me out,
And in those moments I actually feel like a bird,
Sometimes I spread my wings to feel the wind,
And in those moments I can pretend I'm flying,
I dream of soaring away from here,
But you clipped my wings a long time ago,
I know why the caged bird sings,
Because maybe someone will hear it's cries,
Maybe someone will try to save it,
I just hope they aren't too late.

#death #please #help #cage #bird

The Lonely Remnants Apr 2016

I Feel Him

I feel his hands on my shoulders,
When I sink lower into the bath tub,
I feel his hands on my back,
When I sink lower under my covers at night,
I feel his hands on my neck,
When the pills sink lower down my throat,
I feel his hands on my waist,
When my finger sinks lower into my mouth,
I feel his hands on my ankles,
When I'm sinking lower into depression,
I feel his hands on the back of my head,
When I sink lower into the noose,
I feel his hands all over my body,
When I sink six feet lower into my grave.

I can feel death breathing down my neck, but I can also feel your breath as you kiss me. And no matter how much death wants me, I will never leave you.

#suicide #depression #death #hands #sink #lower

The Lonely Remnants Mar 2016

Help Me

My vision begins to blur as my eyes drown in tears,
Things are getting fuzzy and black around the edges,
I can hear my mom in the background,
She's yelling, cussing, spitting threats at me,
I can't move or speak,
Everything starts to slow down, then violently speed up,
Suddenly I can feel my lungs burning as I gasp for air,
My whole body is shaking,
All I can do is mouth your name,
Wish for you to be there if my eyes do open,
Then everything stops,
No breathing,
No noise,
No movement,
Nothing

#scared #hurt #crazy #him #help #nothing #panic

The Lonely Remnants Feb 2016

What You Were

You were my first boyfriend,
my first date,
my first kiss,
my first slow dance,
You were the first to make me feel special,
my first love,
my first heartbreak,
But you weren't the first to use me,
Degrade me,
Hurt me,
Leave me,
And you probably won't be the last,
I still think about you now and again,
But it doesn't hurt as much as it used to,
It doesn't rip my heart out anymore,
It just shakes it,
The same way I shook my head the first time you said you loved me,
I was unable to believe you felt that way,
Like my heart still isn't able to believe you would hurt me like that,
I loved you,
And you left.

I found someone new

#love #heartbreak #first #heart #hurt #goodbye #you #believe