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 Jan 2015 Tamurray
So many misinterpreted metaphors
make me cringe
''are you trying to ruin poetry for everyone''
but I hide my damp eyes behind my fringe
because I mustn't argue and my teachers are never wrong
They sing without a meaning or lyric in their song
we are taught to write what they want to hear
not the truth we feel inside our hopes and fears

But i must turn the other cheek
to get my degree I need..when home I ponder, I weep
because it was the school that killed poetry
for many of my peers..
But all is not lost..wipe away those tears
Grab the pen that feels ethical
the paper that doesn't deceive, doesn't lie
and write a poem that you can feel
you'll get out of school alive
(You know who you are who started this haha!)..Don't get me wrong I love teachers in general..I plan on becoming an awesome one someday too :)
 Jan 2015 Tamurray
Tally Knighte
It's cold.
Everything's distorted,
And I can't breathe.
I'm fighting,
Struggling to move,
Then it's freezing.
My eyes sting,
I gasp for breath,
But everything becomes crisp and clear.
The waterfall is pulling me in
As I drift around the pool of blue.
I'm moving closer and closer
Then I'm suddenly under.
It's all white and everything's moving so fast
I'm being crushed
And I'm so scared
I'm never going to escape
I can't breathe
I don't know what to do
Then it all stops.
I'm floating again.
Drifting along a cool cushion.
I can see,
I can breathe.
Everything's okay.
 Jan 2015 Tamurray
The sun sinks to bring in the dark
So tell me
Why is it so wrong for me to sink,
To bring in the dark?

Sometimes the sky cries for no reason
But when I do the same, "I'm
Some stars explode,
Just to be **reborn again
 Jan 2015 Tamurray
My skin often feels like
An ill fitting suit.
Too big in spots
Too tight in others
With seams showing and scratchy fabric.
My life often feels that way-
Something I tug at that settles for a moment
And then shifts back into discomfort when I take a breath.
Sometimes its worn spots let in the cold wind,
Sometimes it sticks to me and refuses to peel away, suffocating.
I feel like a child in church
In her Sunday best
Who knows she must sit still and quiet
Even as the shoes pinch
And the stiff collar closes round her neck.
I sneak glances around me
Trying to discern if anybody else feels
This way.
They all seem content.
Perhaps if I just breathe shallowly
And don't move a muscle
I will learn what they know
And settle into my shrink-wrapped existence.
"Tiny people with tiny lives-"
Is it the truth?
Or do they just look small
Because they've learned to squeeze into the space they've been given?
Does the woman ordering coffee in her business suit and heels
Sit up nights, unable to sleep for a longing she can't name?
Does the man mopping the floors
Dream of a woman he will never touch
I wish I could find those parts of people.
The parts they hide.
Because mine won't stay hidden.
There is something too thin between me
And the world
And it is poorly fashioned
And it is tattered.
And sometimes people look at me with disdain
As if I've walked out of my house naked
Unable to properly clothe myself
And I wonder
If they aren't
To the girls who are secretly so broken
You WILL be alright
I know you have scars on your soul
Maybe your heart
Possibly your wrists
None of this is your fault
And even if you think it is
Let it go
Not that you can, that easily
But try
I know you are broken
I know you're not okay
Especially when people ask how you are and you answer "I'm fine"
When what you really mean is "I'm alive"
But what do you really care about your own survival anymore
Well I just want you to know
There is beauty in broken glass
And to me
There is immeasurable beauty
In broken girls
So don't you ever forget
You cannot be defined by pain
You're too beautiful for that
Stay strong, broken girl
Nothing is ever really broken
Repost if you are a broken girl. So this message may reach as many of you as possible.

I am here for you. I may just be a sloth but if you message me: I'm fine.
Just randomly it will be our code for "I'm not fine at all" and I will be there for you.
 Dec 2014 Tamurray
he told me the secret to life
was faking it
he said that no one will be able to see the cracks in your skin beneath
the makeup i'll put on you
look in the mirror, he said
your reflection is flawless
and that girl is absolutely
no scratches were visible
from the night i tried to claw my eyes out
he trimmed my nails short and said
they looked prettier that way
my formerly bloodshot eyes
and ratchet hair
had been replaced with contacts
the mane, tamed down into a tight little bun
i wasn't a girl who hated herself
i wasn't the girl who tried to hang herself
i was the girl who loved herself and thought life was just grand
i was the girl who was afraid of death
the screaming voices in my head were replaced
with condescending mama hen clucks
he spun me around once more and said
look at your beautiful face
look at
look at me
 Dec 2014 Tamurray
i-i-iii can't
let me catch my breath
and get back to you

she whispered a secret into my hair
ruffled it like she does
my skin burned beneath her touch
ccc-c-can you not?

sshhhh she said
it's okay
no it's not
if i could only say the words

what was that, honey?
you're a snake?*

 Dec 2014 Tamurray
i like the chill that races up my spine
when my voice projects too loudly
it reminds me that my voice is mine
and so i'll shout from the rooftops proudly

my voice is most often soft
people rarely hear me speak
they look around, did someone squawk?
nope, it was more like a tinny squeak

i'm not the bravest person
yet my opinions urge me to speak my mind
every blue moon i'll gather the courage
and my definition of brave is redefined

my voice may be small but when it rains it pours
my mouth grew wings and away it will soar
bringing me to heights i never knew
speaking is only worth it if the words are true

today my barbaric yawp will be heard
both in written and spoken word
i will not hide behind the veil of silence
silence may be golden but being loud is preferred
 Dec 2014 Tamurray
peeling off labels is like peeling off skin of a 3rd degree sunburn
i hate how it looks
and it's gonna hurt like hell
but i don't want the evidence there
why do i even care so much?

dear society
i am not "anorexic"
i have metabolism issues

the stickiness gums up
i didn't ask for this
i'm not "antisocial"
but i like being alone

i'm not teen angst
i'm growing up
stop telling me
i have problems
i know i have problems

i'm not canned vegetables
why do you need to know my contents?
i'm not yours to scrutinize
stop staring at my body
stop trying to get into my head

stop slapping **** on me
and expecting me to fit into the little labeled box
i'm not
your labels
 Dec 2014 Tamurray
Mouth Piece
i have masks that hide me in plain sight! Masks….upon….. masks….. upon…. masks… woven in my flesh in a habitual binge of pain and pleasure….
i'm stripping down to reality…… a reality covered in lies!!  O how i’m living a lie!
i’m falling deeper into confusion and deeper into understanding….
How clever a coward like me to justify hypocrisy ...i can’t bare to know anymore and i cant bare or afford not to listen.. .. OOO Why can't i discard the mask that sings my name?!!  O Lord please make me invisible to the sight of yesterdays lies in those eyes that are envious and  jealous.....may i sing i was blind and now i see……..fill me with true identity
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