Times are tough. Just a puff. One moment of despair.
Just a hair on a razor's edge. Just one step off heaven's ledge;
I'll dangle, before my wings
smoke
and fall from my back.
Just a puff.
Wings are for saps.

("And it's done," he whispers. "Too late to turn back.")
One failure is unconscionable to the voice in my ear.
There's time yet for that.
There's time yet for that.
My mantra reminds me of that will that I lack.

I'm better now.
Beat. Shake. Hands shake.
You okay? Blink. "I'm fine."
(Don't think. It's not a crime
to feel like your skin doesn't fit.)
To not really want to quit
any more. Hands shake. Beat. Blink.
Break. Boots quake.
Blisters pop inside your brain.
You okay? Blink. What?
"Sorry. Just not sleeping well."
(Going through Hell. Can't tell you that.)

I'm fine. Thanks for the sympathy.
(Throw me a line.)

Shiver. Beetles under my skin
wear top hats in my fever dreams.
They dance on pinprick goosebumps in
the pale fabric of my shirtsleeves.
Crawling. Aching. Never let it stop.
I need it more than it needs me.
Lock up my addiction; Throw away the key.
Gasping. ******. Never let it stop.
One more drag.
One more drop.
Lock up my addiction; Set me free.

Clenching. Teeth. Rattle. Sleep
is a memory.
She is dead to me... Or so I said.

Screaming. Teeth. Clench. She
is a memory.
Sleep won't erase this shaking dread.

Cigarettes. Teeth. Corks. Whiskey
is an elegy.
It reminds me there's a world outside my head.
Or so they said.

Losing touch with my reality
Body shaking, heartbeat quivering
Scared on a rooftop, too high to get down
I needed help, I needed you
And you, my constant, led me down

No more drugs for me, I said

Wishing this was not my reality
Body burdened, heartbeat heavy
Scared on a rooftop, but now I'm not high
I still need you, but can't have you
My constant, constantly on my mind

I can see it now, my fix was you
You were everything to me

No more drugs for me, I said
I guess that's why I lost you

Once it came we fell for it,
Trough a journey of discoveries
The naked image of myself
Merged in the sparkle of our bodies.

And now like shattered piece of glass,
I feel the solitude of time,
The desperation in my mind
Grows like a flower in the grass

Yet I am grateful for this fate,
To leave behind a loving hand
That for a moment made me feel
The glorious warmth to be awake.

I'm yours. Forever.

You just don't know it yet.

I hurt you being selfish
Realized my mistake
Please, my love for you isn't fake.

Crave is perfect to describe how I feel
Your skin, your touch, your laugh, so good it's unreal

The release of chemicals trickle me
I'm addicted.
This drug isn't illegal
Should be
Withdrawal is hell.

I need a moment to grieve
the moment you gave me to leave
I don't know anymore what I believe
I won't show you the door
Leading to where I'm sore
Cause I know from before
where I'm bleeding, you pour
salt upon the vulnerable