Even the prettiest of flowers have to die.
It is, after all, the will of God.
Nature can try its hardest, but God seems adamant.
Nature will meet death.
It will die slowly,
Which seems the most painful.
Unfair, isn't it?

Sitting in a throne of flame
Wondering what I could gain
By setting my mind alight,
Kindling my eyes with fire so bright.

Sending me flying off into
My world of unsurpassed vibrance,
Seeing if my will holds true
Through tests of strength and stance.

Off the precipice I fly,
Soaring yet higher into the sky.
A new world awaits my mind,
But for now, I’m soaring free and blind.

I am shocked by the serenity surrounding me
Finding closure was no longer a fantasy
The calm that stills the sentient ripples of consciosness
The departure of lonesome thoughts and inebriation
A hole in my chest that could not be put to rest
Yet it all faded away in a moment, a short moment of release
When the knot in my chest was at its least
All those defenses finally undone and the tears I've wanted to shed finally ran
With the noose on my neck loose around my chest
I can finally lay to rest this morbid festival of pain
I want to live but not for another's deign but for my own will and worth I will live once again

bid me follow, unbutton that grimy work shirt,
present me ruby nippled *******, silently commanding
worship, suckling, an invitation to come unto me,
my initiation to the pleasure of getting to know you intime

you will laugh with surprise, as the anointing oil of relief
crowns your head, slicking down to caving cavities,
river running in crevices, that feed the buried places,
replenishing the almost forgotten secret of letting go

your pleasure is my greatest pleasure, for long known
the best taking lies beneath unabashedly giving, gentrifying,
you will full fill me, me eager drinking your noises, releasing
my purposes, coming to take my re-education you remedying

your short fingernails will pierce, new additions to my scars,
my history, your chapter, verse and stanza, all now, a claim upon me, that cannot be refused, for elemental silk threads now bind, each may pull, at either end, for the thread is of our singular commonality,
human tissue

Turns out that one good week
Was too much for me
But someday, I know
My heart will mend my soul
And I'll be better again

This is only temporary
So I'll leave you to your feelings
And work on being kinder
Open up my eyes and
Wait until you find you

In the end
This is not the end
You're only one bit
And you don't deserve
The things I did
So I'll be quiet
Go back to my old ways
Of dreaming about
What's behind your eyelids

This will end alright
I think
I just feel it