Ive walked alone all through

The silence promising torture

Yet nobody bothered to shadow

And when i did get a shadow

That made the rays less scorching

It became a thing

To condemn my soul

To condemn my company

It Didn't matter

That my smiles were bigger

On some days brighter

Its their own thoughts,
Their own designs

That was most important

Yet its ironic

How clueless

How self absorbed they are

That its my soul

Never theirs

And I've never tried to disarm theirs

I crave it
Like a drug.
It pulls me through the words
As i type on the screen
Or notebook.
It's almost like attention-seeking
Yet i won't give up
Until i get enough.

Begging by a million names,
A fix for the cost of dignity

In the wearing of a thousand faces,
True north gets lost by tide

To be oneself requires discernment
Through madness and through mood

A staying of course beyond the currents
That pull us to and fro.

I want you to ruin my life
and maybe yours at the same time

I want you to tell me you love me
even if you don't
because for a moment it could be nice
to just be in the wrong

We could sit amongst the rubble
talk about the meaning of it all
as if any of it matters

I want you and I know I shouldn't
I'm just searching for validation
while you look for an exit sign

But, maybe it'd be nice
to set it all on fire and fall for a line