I stared at your eyes as you poured into mine, together we were alone and alive, so full of love and all that is good but, yes there’s a but in every love story.

You stared at my eyes as I poured into yours, giving myself to you with no choice because I wanted to become one with you but, yes there’s a but in every love story.

Let’s recapitulate, recalculate, put it on pause and really meditate upon the events that transpired, because at first we were so wired, secretly in love at the wrong **** time, fire was burning and we were just learning, really understanding what was happening, but the thing is the moment wasn’t right, we tried to make it fit but it really didn’t sit well with the universe’s plan... whatever that is.

This is for you, to understand my truth. To understand and comprehend that I owe you my truth. I can’t stop thinking about you, and that’s the truth. I’m hoping the universe delivers on our love story, because you’re the only one I love unconditionally and truthfully, it’s kind of scary. Time is going on and I’m waiting for you, but truth is I’m getting worried it might not be you. Maybe I’m fantasizing about something untrue, but I’ll always keep a place for you in my heart, in case you come back and decide which path is the one for us because I trust you with my soul, and that’s the unconditional truth.

I am in love with the pain in your eyes, it has me regretting all these lies that were enmeshed all over, entangled with power struggles and manipulation, when all I really wanted was honesty and your affection. I know I didn’t show it and my actions weren’t always what I wanted to portray, but it is what I displayed and I’m left alone licking my own wounds until they scar while you’re somewhere far, it’s so bizarre, how we collided once upon a time and now you’re out there while I’m taking lime with my tequila to mask the pain...

I believed for so long that we were meant to be, but I can’t go on thinking it will be, for this hope has me holding onto you and I can’t cope knowing, and not knowing, what you are thinking. Sometimes I reminisce and think about our kiss, fireworks around us while I was your miss, full of love and passionate, you were definitely my favourite. My inspiration and the reason for my poems and ideas, can I get a subpoena and get you to come see me? Is that a possibility? Would you promise me the world like you did before or would you run away to even the score from when you once loved me and I did not, a regret I will not forget...

Through the ups and downs, the happiness, the sadness and the madness, we have failed to make it work. I used to go berserk when things didn’t work in my favour, for I would lurk just to feel close to you... but the time for endings has arrived and deep inside it feels like suicide but I will let it slide for I won’t be defeated or succumb to negativity, and at last go on with my life blissfully, for there is so much to live for and I believe in my core of cores that beautiful things await. For you, for me, and for all; just know I would give my all for one more talk with you, oh the things I would say, I always pray it happens and maybe one day we shall cross paths again, but this pain doesn’t make me want to gain another rendezvous with you, so I’ll just leave it be. You will always be in my heart but this is the part where I say, goodbye.

Trusting makes you vulnerable
Makes you open

What do you do when you are the one saying no.

You, the you who was happy before it all.
Who spent years building the walls around your heart and mind.
The you who suffered through the pain and psychological warfare of relationships riddled with abuse, neglect and exploitation.

The smarter , more weathered you.

Misery loves company they say, and you are your own best.

The internal struggle to open up, but why? Why wouldn’t you listen to yourself, to your instinct? If you had in the first place would you even be here.

You’ve learned to be more convincing more urgent and intended on quelling those urges to cut a hole in the walls.
You finds reasons and ways to remind you yourself.

You gives you a taste of what it felt like before. Before the safety of this place, alone.
You makes it hurt like it did before
You did it

Who do you trust now, you?

Trust is a feeble thing.

If a tiny little bird,

falls from a sheltered nest

and drops into your skirt,

eyes still closed in rest,

take it like a savor.

Cover it in human scent,

no longer mother natures,

for you it was sent.

If you let it pass away,

it's a mothers heart break,

it's the body of betray,

burry it in the worst ache.

Lay her precious flowers,

decaying white roses,

innocence's dying hours.

It’s hard to find an honest person in this world of today, to have a true friend that loves you is worth more than anything in this life that will pass your way.
Someone who cares no matter how you look or feel, always waiting with open arms and when you are hunger, they will feed you a meal.
A person you can count on to help bail you out anytime, and willing to work with you when the relationship gets in a bind.
You can play the people you pass on the street, but always be honest with a true friend, life is short and another you may never meet.
No one is perfect in this life’s game, when we never admit our mistakes all we do is ruin our own name.
Finding someone who loves you, and you love too, is a gift you should cherish and be honest with them in anything you do.
It’s never a matter of who is right or wrong, it’s someone you always want to be with and share life like an old love song.
Never being greedy about material things, we think we should have in our hands, the high should come from having a true loving friend to share, and explore each day on this land.
Always showing appreciation for everything, and never pushing them away for the excitement you think a few minutes of pleasure will bring.
Never making up stories or hurting them to make you feel better inside, the worst thing you could do a lover and friend is betray them or lie.
Always come forward and apologize if you turned on a friend that has always been good to you, remember your luck or game will someday come to an end and you will be all alone, and no one will be there to help no matter what you do.

Tom Maxwell ©