Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
I can’t even say your name.

It withers on my tongue...
like a dying breath.
Like a prayer I never should’ve whispered.
A forbidden word,
a memory buried—
but not deep enough.

I held your secret—
tight,
like a corpse cradled in my ribs.
It pulsed there,
rotting slow,
whispering lies
in a voice that sounded too much like mine.

You told me this…
was healing.
You said:
This is what you need.
You said:
This is love.

And I—
I believed you.
Because I thought love could look like you.
I thought maybe
you saw the part of me
I kept hidden.
The holy part.
The waiting part.

I made a promise once.
To something higher.
Older.
Holier.

To wait.
To be whole.
To offer myself to someone
who could see the soul beneath the skin.

And you…
you made me think
you were that someone.

You said all the right things.
Held me like I was something sacred.
Looked at me
like I was light.

But you—
you didn’t come for the light.
You came for the heat.
The curve.
The body—
not the being.

And when I whispered no…
you didn’t flinch.
When I begged—
please stop…
your hands were deaf.
Your breath—
heavy.
Your need louder than my pain.

I cried.
I shook.
I begged.

You heard me.
You heard everything.
And still—
you stayed.

You stayed
and you took
what was never yours.

You were close—
so close
to the thing you wanted.
And nothing else mattered.

Not my voice.
Not my tears.
Not the sacred vow
I placed in your hands
like a fragile, flickering flame.

You crushed it.
Extinguished it.
And left me in the ash.

And when I came to you—
small,
shattered,
trying to understand how love
could feel like drowning—
I said:

You hurt me.
You took what I never gave.

And you looked at me,
so calm,
so sure,
and said:

Your body said yes.
Your mouth said no, but I knew what you needed.

As if my body was louder than my voice.
As if my begging meant nothing.
As if the pain you caused
was some kind of gift.

You knew.
Don’t pretend you didn’t.
You wore understanding like a mask—
but it slipped, didn’t it?
Right before you did
what can’t be undone.

Now I am silence.
Now I am ruin.
Now I am the echo
of a girl
who once believed in light.

I feel your hands even now—
ghost-hands,
burned into memory.

You forgot me.
I know.
I’m dust to you.
Mist in your rearview.

But you…
you are the grave I wake in.
The scream I cannot voice.
The shadow I drag
through every room,
through every prayer.

I want to forget.
I beg to forget.
I would burn my own name
to forget.

But you haunt me.

Still.
Still.
Still.
I have been on a journey of self love and self discovery. My outlet is putting my thought into poems.
Laiba Sep 2020
It hurts me
To know
She's crying because of me
I didn't mean to cause her distress
She's my sister at the end of the day.
She worries she says I wish I could of seen you struggle Insted of cutting
I cry because i don't want to be her reason behind her tears
She's my sister
My world
Kai May 2020
Tried to wash the scars embedded on me
Submerged the voices that left me haunted
Drowned the visions from the tall red oak tree
Remembering when you asked to “flaunt it”

I tried to scream, but choked on nonsense words
Your malevolent laughs replays in my mind
No evidence, but me and the blue birds
How hard is it for one to just be kind?

You left me with pain, you left me to cry
I can never get my innocence back
Yet, I still love you, but I don’t know why
I may not remember all that happened,
But my body does, my body remembers it all
*******, Harley
The darkness behind our eyes
Malice within our souls
The rebellion our menace
The prison we locked ourselves in
A cage we built to trap our wild hearts
Treading the fine line between
Normalcy and psychopathy
Vengeance, violence and brutality
All that we've masked in our grace
Hiding beneath our placid demeanor
Gentle breaths tender caresses
Soft lips whispering sweet nothings
Our words carefully scripted
Depicting a picture of purity and perfection
False sincerity reaching out to others
Only to burn all that we lay our hands upon
Malingering through days
Sugar laced actions and innocent smiles
Life is but a masquerade
As we dance or days away
The name "Leila" means beauty and darkness of the night..
You can try to fix me,

I Dare you!

But there is nothing from the past
That you can undo,
There is nothing I can re-live
Or redo.

There is Nothing we can forget.

There are only the Flashbacks
Residual memories,
Fighting to get out despite
The torment.

Pain  ...   ...
                            
                            [fea­r]

  ||  A  ||  X  ||  I  ||  E  ||  T  ||  Y  ||



           ­                                     Loneliness...





¶¶¶ Depression

Replaying like a broken track
A warped Melody.
V Jul 2017
Some may call me crazy, because often the majority do,
But I will never forget who you were,
Yes, I will never forget you.

Some will always see the evil, some will always pull out the bad,
But no one was born to be a cruel
person,
Nor an evil man.

You may never remember, you will probably deny it again,
But I remember the moment, when you begged to have a friend.

I remember when you spoke, you told me of your suffering and pain,
You told me you were once happy, when you were still, you quoted "sane."

You reminded me of your mother, and how you loved your sister so,
But how dark times came so sudden, how you had fallen so very low.

"He took everything away from me, and gave me to the Devil,
Now I remain in power, so I shall not ever fall to his level.
I hate what I've become, but hell, you will never know,
What it's like to see your reflection and hate it with a passion,
Wanting to **** what it shows.
They have me captive just as they have you,
They do not want anyone to know any of their truths.
I want to die and have prayed for my death every single night,
In hopes whatever god is listening will end me of my plight.
Please help me, I am so sorry for what I have done,
I truly do mean it, I swear on my family's on blood.
You may not forgive me, because what is left to forgive?
If anyone, it is you, who deserves to fully live."


Before I could try, before I could speak, you were gone again,
Your eyes turned dark and you had that smile, one that was ruthless and bleak.
As if a demon, silenced you, as if some darkness had won,
You were no longer your true self, no, you were gone.
You laughed at my tears, as I shed them that night,
Not in the name of my own suffering,
But because I saw a man lose his own fight.
To my abuser of 7 years, whom I have learned to forgive wholeheartedly and love. As an individual who is still more than human, but had fallen to a deadly illness and cold, empty heart.
Many often hate those who do evil, but as someone with such a strong compassion for humanity, Ive learned to always care and forgive even the most hated.
Yes it may seem crazy, but as said, no one os ever born evil, no one ever asked to be concieved in darkness.
"Do not blame the man who never saw good in the world, but blame the world that never saw the good in him."

— The End —