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mari Feb 2022
he always calls me by my given name
whenever he finds himself back in town;
mariela on the dotted line,
mari in the moonlight.
ella if he's feeling smug,
bunny when he's looking for God.
he knows my history is shaded with blue,
marred by narrowly-won home-front wars.
everything about me reminds him
of Heaven and sweet, honeyed beaches.
sandy cheeks from moonbathing, ****,
by clyde's stagecoach motel on the coast.
barefoot and manic, he tastes like sugar
and complements the *** on my tongue.
green-eyed with envy, but he's sweet
enough to make my mind grow hazy
with the lust of a woman gone mad from her fears.
he rolls through on the tail-end of a storm
and dizzies me until the dream ends
and i find he's left me only morning dew.
he tells me i'm an angel, lazily smoking
cigarettes while he lounges, gloomy, by the pool.
sunshine bikini singing sailor songs softly,
cool in my gold hoops dancing between
his open thighs, signaling gamine doom.
he's larger than life, starry-eyed,
reading me poetry against his olive chest.
i could die here, i know this, listening
to the gentle tune of his heartbeat.
he tells me he'll love me only until tomorrow,
but i'm not so sure that's the truth.
when the playdate ends,
when the sun dies slow,
when my love goes home
i'll awaken,

but not just yet.
i could do this for forever, trailer trash love of mine
der kuss Apr 2020
life has its own falls
and rise and today
you said goodbye
and i wasn't sure
which part of life
i was in; it could
be the fall of my
past self and the
rise for the new
self. i shared with
you all the things
that remained
unheard then, i was
doing all the best
i could this past two
years and you need
to know that and i
said everything falls
back into place and
the wind swings on
a gentle haze and heart
breaks and mended again
and we know that we had
blood all over our hands
and we smear it out on
somebody else's face
and we sat and talked,
made ours a pair of
clean slate and
my moon listens my moon
understands my moon laughs
my moon repents my moon speaks
my moon sighs my moon wants to go
and i had let him go a million days ago and
my moon sleeps alone in the middle of the bed
and my moon is right there, a little dot in the night sky
mari Mar 2020
we are the champion kids,
mean starry-eyed gangster babies,
fresh from the trailer park;
soaking up diamanté danger
in glittering pink sequin bikinis
and rhinestone cowboy hats.
sunset swinging boricua gold hips,
robbers dripping virginal deceit as
'nilla ice cream coats fruit punch lips,
sighing softly under neon moonlight
as we stumble through camelot,
drunk off the fumes of the city.

hollywood heavenly stars light up
our flesh and the fake palm trees
at the 76, a true downriver delight.
degenerate beauty queens beaten blue
by cinema kings craving insanity
and perfection in sweet cocaina lines,
selling our souls to weekly devils
for a big shot of treasure trove ***.

chain-smoking cigarettes because he
called me his pretty little gangster baby;
lazily watching him fly through traffic,
i love his rollercoaster disco mind.
falling in and falling out of the world,
floating across the sparkling nebulae
as he waves his pistol and blue paper
in my face, hoping i'll awaken from
dope saturated celluloid dreams.
praying my baby will come back to me
from the crackhouse down the street;
she smiles to the world, but i can see
the tear stains on her golden cheeks.
wyoming street with the disco queens
hillbilly jim and dizzy rascal singing sweet
this trailer trash land is paradise to me
mari Sep 2019
sunbeams fall across my face
as I recall such regretted haste
of statically-charged, crystal ****, lightning shimmer
ice cold switchblade gleams in blue television glitter
raising hell in my white nightgown, I drive fast
drinking ***, I'm not afraid to crash
Elvis in the mirror, Marilyn in the bed
fire shall consume me? well, devour me it has
for my soul is set ablaze when I dream of what I had
your pulse sends me lightyears away as I think
of all the times you brought me to my knees
prison calls from mid-July still ring out in my ears
the longer that you stay away, the more you feed my fears
cigarettes burning, neon palm trees, bikini ******
Jesus pleads with me to no avail, "don't go further,"
but I am God now and I crave your touch, daddy
though you're gone forever, sadly
******'s gone and snatched you away
forevermore my skies will be grey

stop haunting my dreams
please let me be
your spirit still holds me hostage
and while you remain to be
the only one on Earth for me
what I can't have will **** me
surely
i keep dreaming of u and each dream is more vivid than the last
please come back, daddy, ur tha only one for me
nadine shane Nov 2017
in the morning,
you wonder to yourself why
you feel effusive,

and then you remember that
you were left with
nothing but melancholy.

he left you with pieces of yourself
still under his teeth and you
ponder why you
feel so empty.

you always put fragments
of your tumultuous love on
anything else that ensorcelled
you and yet you still
question why you
feel so vapid.

in the afternoon,
you gaze at the gaps of
your woven heart,

admiring how you still chose
to love albeit it has been
treated by uncouth and
cantankerous men, grabbing your
jagged edges and claiming it as a phantom's home.

walking home was certainly an
experience for you, you were
scrupulous on avoiding the cracks
on the sidewalks because you
were afraid you would fall too deep and wander around the empty
hallows of quandary.

in the evening,
you wear
a careworn visage.

the efflorescence that you
once desired for was kept
untouched at the kiss of the
pale moonlight, swooning you with every echo of apologies dripping down
your god-forsaken body.

your heart, beaten and
turned into everything
sublime, is ensconced behind
the walls, cosseting the bruises
he had left you and not once did his
eyes become rueful.

loving is a mixture of
boiling thoughts and sleepless
nights, a state of perplexities
wherein you plead that
maybe, just maybe, he still thinks
about you too.
henlo stinky this is my first published poem here on this site (-:
adeline Jun 2017
Introducing you to the metal that I use to paint
But everytime I use this; I always faint
I'm carving it to my skin like a masterpiece
And everytime I do this it reminds me of broken pieces

I am the red artist in the dark night
The artist who lost her will to fight
So here am I trying to make an art
To my skin and to add bleeding to my heart

My works are not even worthy
They are calling it ******
But seeing my blood in my skin
I am an artist through thick and thin

You are judging me from what you saw
Not even knowing what's behind of my flaws
The best artist that people never noticed
Is now fighting with words as a poetess

The red blood on the floor
Symbolizes that I will now close the door
Of the darkess which I live in
And to my dear self, for how long since it has been?
Eleanor Rigby Jul 2015
I want to shrink
And throw myself
In the waste-paper basket.

That's how ******
I am feeling.


F.Z.**N

— The End —