brilliant transformations scare her
she doesn’t know what she’ll become or how they’ll react but she knows this is what she wants
this is what she’s been waiting for and even though they’ll stare
brilliant transformations scar her
but she will convalesce, she will blossom, and they will adjust
and she’ll finally be everything she wanted

Born He,
Discovered She within,
Express her, teased, laughed at, pain,
Hide, act like the other little boys,
Smile, battle the pain, just be happy.
She moves within the shadows.

A shimmer of light, home alone,
A chance to grow, express her,
Caught, rejected, pain,
Hide, act like the other young men,
Smile, battle the pain, just be happy.
She moves within the shadows.

Married, wife, children, life is wonderful,
Baseball, Barbies, basketball, XOXO
Hide, act like the other husbands/dads,
Smile, battle the pain, just be happy.
She moves within the shadows.

Marriage issues, stress, depression,
Open up, wife confused, sad, sicken,
Rejected, pain, world collapsing,
Hide, act like the other husbands/dads,
Smile, battle the pain, just be happy.
She moves within the shadows.

Divorce on the horizon, feels like death,
Pain, hide, be strong in front of kids,
Smile, battle the pain, just be happy.
She moves within the shadows.

Seek help, Jesus, therapy, Trinity UMC,
Strong growing support, acceptance,
Others with pain, be Her,
Smile, battle the pain together, finding happiness.
She moves slightly out of the shadows.

Divorce still on the horizon, still feels like death,
Kids all young adults, happy, healthy, informed,
Out to them, accepted, love I've only dreamed of,
Smile, battle the pain together, finding happiness.
She moves out of the shadows a little more.

To Be Continued . . .

He woke this morning
Another night of her dreams

He glanced into the mirror
She’s not real it seems

Society unknowingly accepts
The image presented
Unaware of the damage
Being self-inflicted

He hides her for fear of rejection
She battles for her reflection.
______

Michelle Renee Milford
Nov. 2014

I'm standing here,
not knowing what to say.
It seems to escape me now.
Losing it through fingers clenched to tight.

I'm standing here,
but you don't see me anymore.
It's fading beyond my grasp,
soon left to be polished memories and stale perfume.

I'm standing here,
fighting the impulse to run,
Not knowing what to do...
Feet frozen from backward thoughts that fill me with doubt.

I'm standing here,
and I have no idea why.
Just a naive girl with bare feet,
and hair let free.
Wondering why the wind keeps whispering your name.

Winters nascent white falls
on the boughs of orchard branches
and carpets the earth outside my window;

The coating has a strength in it's gentle glow
softening and subduing the landscape
in a pale light, diffused by cloud,

Lifting with the purity of a doves wings
And drifting with a melancholy like ashes,
Settling, like the baseness of bones,

Something bare and beautiful
is reflected outside
in the raw winds of transition,

Out of the dark belly of solstice,
In all the suddenness and subtlety of being
snow flakes are inchoate and bristling.

We sit in silence together
Surrounded by the celling fan and window creak symphony
The quiet moments speak louder than the laughter
I revel and hold tightly to these minutes
Knowing I'll be packing my bags in a matter of months
Leaving for unknown territory
Turning a new page in this book
Not knowing what I will write
And I can only hope that
You will continue to write your name
In the margins of my story
In between the lines of every page
And all that I ask is that
You will continue to write in pen
And never regret the moments you have written

A day goes by and clouds float home,
past field and flower, beyond the light,
where they go in their pleasant roam?
Fills the mind with simple delights.

A weary sun slides across the blues,
from sky and sea, it wavers goodbye,
a welcome change through evening's hues.
Appreciation in thought filled sighs.

A day goes by and welcomes lights,
of stars adorning the moonlit dome,
submerged beneath serene, sweet night,
dreams fill the the air, like softest moans.