I still uncover shards of him
Splintered glass buried deep within
I scratch the scabs just on the surface
Nails digging with a purpose
Some dark thoughts go undetected
These cuts run deep and feel infected
Weighted shrapnel riddles me
But I know I'm loved, I know I'm free
Some things just put me in that place
Where I thought things would never change
Where guilt would drip from every word
And spite was the dagger meant to hurt
The ground alight with coals and ash
Where I held my breath as I slipped past
Clutching nothing but insincere apologies
I learned to feed his selfish greed
So when there's pressure on old scars
I'm sorry if I flinch too hard
And when the alcohol burns against my skin
Please hold me tight as it sinks in

Far from here, away from me
A monster resides in the sea
As dark and as calm like the eye of the storm
Lingering deep down silently from many

It feeds off from the people who
Comes and goes
Into the eye of the dark storm
Away from the noise of premonition

And it moves, either fast or slowly
Within the waters of the sea
Eating away any fantasy

And the ships that managed to sail within
Face a monster that murders and kills
They either sink deep down or sail away

An entity who seems to embody something
And little by little, it follows me

To the point that it vanishes in the sea
Unbeknownst to many, it was underneath

It's calm, it's dark, I cannot see

That the monster in the sea was actually me

Growing to manhood is a slippery *****
Of razor blades and bones that grow.
****** screen shots of angel wings,
Red carpet slits, eye popping lips,
Miss Pageants and tutus on skates.
Britney shaking, Jennifer quaking,
No Old Spice to take young spice's place.
The X comes before the Y,
Yet Toxicity is the hue and cry.
I'm a man in a mixed-up world,
But girls still like boys,
And boys adore girls

I undressed for my shower,
And noticed something queer;
Something I've used all my days,
Suddenly disappeared.

I had it with me yesterday,
And used it several times;
I always put it in its place,
And took care of what was mine.

I really can't explain it;
Now what's a fella do;
I'm not to blame,
I refuse the shame
Of the hashtag framed MeToo.

My heart reads like a letter .

Convincing my lips
to Speak like a widow who lost her husband in a terrible accident .

“It’s like burning everything around us to keep the cold at bay. To keep the warmth in our tones , to keep that comfort between us there.
To prove that what he had was more than a feeling. But I didn’t know that the smoke that came from those flames would slowly be the death of us.”

“It’s like we were fighting for our lives while in a car that’s flipped 50 times. Who could’ve known this would happen. All we could do is watch it unfold.”

“And I know that I should forgive him but ... he stopped fighting first.
I know the circumstances were against us but I just don’t know what to do with this sudden end.

He should have stayed even just a little longer .
Why wasn’t the love that we had stronger ?

Let me put you in a spell
I want to make your life hell

Let me pull you back out
I don't like listening to you shout

Let me pull you of a funk
I don't want you packing your trunk

Let me put you in your place
I will get up in your face

What good is a masculinity so fragile,
That it harbors misery and shatters souls?

What good is an alliance so toxic,
That it tweaks tears as opposed to laughter?

So speak up and break free,
Live life merry as long as your body does plea.

After breaking your heart
I listened to Radiohead, really I was
Still trying to go over
The times you played Radiohead
Once,  I was just trying to
Remember the words you said

Now,
I just sit
And listen
To Radiohead
Because  
You never played them
More than once
And I will probably
End up playing their music
To someone else
Instead.