What good is a masculinity so fragile,
That it harbors misery and shatters souls?

What good is an alliance so toxic,
That it tweaks tears as opposed to laughter?

So speak up and break free,
Live life merry as long as your body does plea.

After breaking your heart
I listened to Radiohead, really I was
Still trying to go over
The times you played Radiohead
Once,  I was just trying to
Remember the words you said

Now,
I just sit
And listen
To Radiohead
Because  
You never played them
More than once
And I will probably
End up playing their music
To someone else
Instead.

You've built me up
Then torn me down.
Secured my cuffs
To bricks
So that I'd drown.
I've never been me
Around you
Because my loyalties lie
Within this heart of mine.
Can't you see
The wicked little world
You've created?
The deluded fantasy
That keeps you
Fascinated?
You fascist pig.
Fattening yourself up
Off the brunt of my back,
Then kicking me out to
Wander,
Societal refuse with their
Burlap sack.
Drifting off
Losing life
One little drop of pain
At a time.
This blood in my veins
Maybe there because
You made me,
But it'll stay there
Because I decided
To save me
From the cold
Razor sharp
Lie that is
You.

You and I we lived a lie
And spread it to the masses
I made sure to tidy up and wore rose tinted glasses
I saw the flags and all the bad but couldn't understand
I cried myself to sleep and stuck my head under the sand
But somehow baby I just never could be what you needed
Accusing me of everything, yet you're the one who cheated
Such a sad realization when you wake up to a stranger
That you somehow knew for years and yet your connection's weaker

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

You told me I was heartless when I left without a tear
I guess you didn't count all the times I cried those years
You wounded me in different ways in which I still can't heal
Still I was devoted, my hearts not an easy one to steal
I gave you enough chances, time and time again
If you really cared about me, than you should have listened
So call me this and call me that
I really dont give a ****
I know that for some other man someday I'll be more than enough

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

How can I learn to trust again after such a failure?
You were just another waste of time, you weren't my savior
Sometimes I still think of things you said I get lost inside your lies
But I've grown so much since I stood my ground, you'll never realize
I won't allow myself to act stupid over another guy
I deserve the world and will except no less than the moon, the stars, and sky

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

Fast forward to the future and look how much I've grown
Can't believe how good I'm doing out here all on my own
I became my own support system, my own best friend
I don't need nobody else baby I got this til the end
But then a pair of eyes caught mine in a way I can't explain
They look not a thing like yours and I'm over the moon again
But this time will be different, this time Ill be stronger
I refuse to be abused or suffer any longer

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
I'm done with all your heartache
And I promise you by the time you notice what you threw away
I'll be someone else's cherished "mistake"

there's a lot wrong
with the earth-
& with my head
i'm trying to shed my addict skin
i'm so much more than what i depict
& i've come pretty far,
considering where i've been

& this world may be bleak
but i've gained some light
by burning down every
bridge in my sight-
you may say my pyromania
is born out of spite
but your toxicity is now gone.
i can finally breathe right.

so i'm going to continue
to fix myself
i'll box up old memories,
hide them high on a shelf
because i’m done treating the past
as my prison cell.
i've roamed ******* far
from the pits of your hell.

toxic
Where ever you may be let there be solicitude. Clear all other moods my dear. a sensitivity you took for granted. All the ******* you ranted. Still all is forgiven, but not forgotten. As my inner demons want to see you rotting. this battle inst over yet, let compassion fill your heart; before all is to late an ripped apart. you had my sympathy but forget my empathy. Let off the deep end, descend my ill minded friend. i know this is hard to comprehend. quite useless indeed. just heed the warning because we may not see the next morning my friend. peace cease to rest as for your no longer here, just a mirror i broke.  so evoke or choke on this toxic air. as its seems harder to bare.   to everyone who thinks differently or indifferently i wish you all well. as i step through hell watching from the inside out.. endless route. i now walk in solitary, that this wont end through any

promissory i held.  ashes fades to grey.  only to feel betrayal to watch all vanish away.

  X.x ftw an FML