Sometimes, I wish that I were different
I am not talking about weight, height, or physically
I wish I were the old me
The nice me
The one who didn't expect ulterior motives
Expect to be hurt
The one who was afraid to say no
Or come off as mean
Sometimes, I think I'm still in there
Deep down
Underneath the fake cloak of harshness wrapped around me
Used as a shield
Protecting me from the world
Still protecting the old me

Thundering far away
You want to go to play
The squeezebox
By the church
About breathing
While breathing

But there is the blond one
Close to you
Smoking icos
Writing something
In the phone

And the brewery is opening soon
You want to talk to her
But remain silent
It is better to keep
Your mouth shut
She wears the ring
You wear the ring

The rib pain
Over your heart
Makes you tired
Makes you sleep
In the late spring heat

The wind starts blowing
The storm is coming
The boys are jumping
Into the water

The girl is taking
Her bra down
With elegance
Putting a light shirt on
Smoking icos

She folds the towel
Put a helmet on
And slowly leaves
With orange tires
On the small bike

The storm is gone
The warm wind is breezing
Over the pond

It’s been over a week now,


To be exact, it’s been twelve days.
If we are being really honest,
It’s actually been twenty nine days.
But, in reality it’s been so much longer.

You hopped on that plane,
That I had hopped on before.
Neither of us knowing how different it would all end up when you came back off the other side.
We are two birds who emigrate the opposite way from each other.

Crossing paths for only a day or two,
Spending the rest of the flight remembering what used to be.
You soar one way, I soar the other

‘Real friends, they never leave you’,
If only that was true,
To have a reason would make it easier

Us humans, we are just like pieces of drift wood floating down a stream
There is no saying if we will cross paths again,
Or only have a few fleeting moments together

As your wrinkles grow,
You realise that life is too fleeting to be mad anymore

Instead, you look at the moments from behind
You mourn the friends lost, the memories missed
You put down the album and let it drift away

You have learnt to forgive
Every now in then,
You dream of your paths crossing again,
But then you look around and see what you already have.
Sometimes the thoughts pour in and you wonder,

Will they leave me too?
The thing is in life, you just never know.

I sit
   all by myself
   again
and look out
   down upon the streets
cigarette in hand
a glass of wine upon the table
love's sweet exhaustion lingering in my bones
   and smell upon my skin
feeling so young and yet somehow so old

a late night bus drones by
and takes strange people
   to their desired stops
in a city
where I know only few
that could say
  yes  
  it's him

a woman with unsteady midnight gait
secretly walks her dog
into the public park
   both little more than blurs
   of bluish white and brown
   in the half-shadow
   of forbidden bushes

a couple leans entwined
   forever in a parting kiss
   upon the doorstep
unmindful of the plane
   that comes in low and loud
   before the landing

why is it that these moments
   seem eternal and yet
I sense the rush of time go fast
   and pass me by
   and her
   who sleeps next door

and leave us lost among our memories
of what was lovely
   and so beautiful
   before

          *

On this day I shall be vibrate.
Shining bright and uncaring;
Not minding ones hateful words.

I shall be strong and independent.

I'll talk a little too loud,
And act slightly more proud.

I will be happy and pleased today.

Then tomorrow will come,
And that day will become today;
But on that day I shall be grime.

Unable to stand the slightest of sound,
Startled and afraid, sick of being drained.

I will not be able to handle the day,
And all the things that await,
So I shall stay in bed and cry my life away.

To concerned now of the hateful talk,
Unable but wishing to change everything;
Every single little detail of me.

This today, is to loud,
But now its all in my head;
Where the monsters await for my dread.

Today, will always change,
But I will still be here for the next.

Pale blue dot in an endless void,
This rock has turned again and
     the skies are swapping places
     once more,
Regrets of things done or not done
      drag behind on the ground
      like a chain,
whilst hope for the new day
      flies ahead and above like a kite,
A day closer to death or
      a day well spent?
Either way, tomorrow it begins anew;
So turn, turn and turn again,
Pale blue dot in an endless void

I measure out my days in witticisms that fall
As freely and pointlessly as leaves in autumn,
My few amongst the countless that fall anonymously
Along streets, in parks, in gardens
Filling gutters, blocking drains, making homes
For hedgehogs, rats and beetles.
Things we **** with cars, poisons and heels.

The date that marks another month
came and went before I had a chance
to dwell on it.

You're already fading,
already disappearing
from my mind.

One day you will fade away completely,
only a memory
and no longer a heartache.

Well darling I wish you would stay,
please never stop haunting me
in this bittersweet way.

Because I'd rather have this heartache
than let you fade away and
become nothing but a shadowed memory.

Without knowing how it happened
A man’s heart can fail him
His father gone, his spirit dampened
His children near, for a while, but then
Gone as meant to be
Would it be worse if they stay
But while longing is an empty knee
The time must come for them to fly away

But which pieces did they take
And which pieces do remain?
There is no accounting of what did break
Only a heart that must learn to live again
To trust once again in the sky
An old friend watching as you return
Is to know life becomes a cry
As wings become flight and ashes an urn

To wait for the next great love
Is the way of heartache
The time we give to what we are thinking of
Is only what we decide to forsake
But did my every loss soften my mind
For I know of your sadness too
And in it I have finally come to find
That the time is now for me to comfort you