midnight cries for help go unheeded,
***** little secrets remain unchecked.
regret, misery, disgust -
at what i have done
and who i have become
(who have i become?)

Night lights
Casting light in the shadows
Minimizing the hiding places for monsters and negative thoughts
Providing a false sense of security
As though if I could see the danger coming, I could protect myself from it
Weather it was monsters or hearing that voice inside my head telling me I'm not quite good enough.
Did you protect yourself?
Did you learn how it felt before you dreamed a reality that left you of short of breath on the edge of falling into the abyss?
As though the monster had ****** up all the air in the room and was holding it captive just out of reach
Just far enough where you are not brave enough to walk
Did you ever wake up from the terror thankful for it to be over just to realize as the second passed that the monster still held you in his grips?
Hand pressed over your throat, stifling your screams dragging you back in, as your fingertips bleed from scraping at air, trying to pull away
Waking up, scarce of breath, trembling like the knees of a girl who is fragile and weak, begging for a rush of air
Did his face pressed against yours and his hands caressing your skin vanquish the monster and fill your lungs?
Did he make you feel safe?
As the nights drag on and the night light persists when will enough be enough
When will the darkness envelope me in comfort instead of anxiety
Will it always be a constant battle of needing sleep but not wanting to dream?
Childhood covered in night terrors and sweat.
My Fears took root in the darkness, thriving on my constant thoughts and well wishes.
Soaking up my confidence and using it as a weapon
I am not scared of sleep I am scared of what hides in my mind as I drift off.
What new version of hell could my mind construct
Night lights make waking up less of a mental battle.
Night lights help make me realize that the fear and danger is no match for reality
Night lights help pull me out of the abyss and bring me back to you.
But if I believed that light always conquered dark then wouldn't the dreams have stopped?

The monsters under our beds never left
They got bigger and stronger as we got older
Unlike what the movies said
We was told they were suppose to leave
They were gonna leave us alone and let us live
But the monsters under our beds never left

The ghosts in our closets never died
They became louder with words and learned more actions
They found ways to escape in the cracks
And crept up on us in the worst of times
We were always hoping they were gonna pass along
But the ghosts in our closets never died

The night-lights beside our beds burnt out
It was advertised as never ending
Suppose to protect me from the demons
Keep the light in and dark out
We were always happy when it shined
But the night-lights beside our beds burnt out

The crack under our doors only got bigger
Not physically of course but they somehow allowed more things through
The door is suppose to block out the bad people
Its suppose to protect me from the unwanted
And always keep me safe
But the crack under our doors only got bigger

Our dads always got stronger
We were told parents are suppose to be there for you
Protect you from the imaginary things
But he became the monsters and he became the ghosts
I tried to keep myself safe
But our dads always got stronger

We became more scared
Growing old is suppose to mean growing out of childhood terrors
But the monsters never left
The ghosts never died
The night-lights burnt out
The cracks got bigger
He became stronger
And we are now always terrified