I am a decade of broken.
Words laying on the cold ground,
Only to be frozen and forgotten.
Thinking that spring would soon come
And melt them away,
Bring them to light,
But they become buried.
The sunlight can't reach these words,
These painful words.
I can't throw these words to the wind,
They might come back at me.
And although I am silent,
My silence speaks for me.
Yet still,
Those around me are unable to hear what I say.
I am screaming these words,
But they fall like feathers on the ears of my peers asleep.
One day, had I opened my mouth,
Sound might have come.
But here I sit,
And there is no sound.
Not anymore...

There is no sound,
To describe the pain.
When you are betrayed by someone you trusted with your life.
When they held you in your hands as you were young,
And in a moment they took that innocence away.
Wilted, withered, and wrought with fear,
Never could you see anything the same.
Young, but now not as young as you should be.
Tainted innocence becomes you
In a swarm of emotions.
Hatred, anger, fear, denial.
Wishing you could forget,
If only you could forget everything.
A rose, drooping beyond it's vase,
Falling petals,
Lifeless.

And in that moment,
It is set on fire.
Burning a great flame until it is only ash,
And burning still,
Until there is nothing more.
The fire is gone, and so is all fear,
So is all worry,
So is all happiness that once was,
That once existed.
Emptiness and blackness fill the shell of what you once were,
But now there is nothing.
Void is imminent.
Decay is predicted.
Death and salvation are implorable.

Well that feeling was fun while it lasted.
And to think of the nights I wasted,
Thinking about you...
Man, If I only knew.

When were you going to tell me?
Was I blinded by the way you said "Marie" all lovingly?
I guess I was just desperate for someone to hold me safe and warm.
I'm such an idiot to think a love could form!

You didn't even say goodbye,
But that wasn't the part that made me cry.
She had always been there
But you certainly did not care.

I see that picture frame in my dreams.
And I tell myself that maybe it's not what it seems.
But then you said, all casually,
"This is a picture of my fiance and me"

But the way you held me so tight,
Seemed to me that you were loving me with all your might.
Did I just picture it all in my head?
How I wish I was dead.

Maybe then you'll remember me
and you would be able to see,
I'm better fitted for you
Than she is wedded to you, you have no clue.

What am I thinking!
There's something here that I'm not seeing.
I've fallen really hard...
Little pieces of my heart broke apart, shard after shard.

I purchased a ticket to your matinée.
You sold me on the storyline.
Boy likes girl,
girl likes boy,
live happily ever after.
Everyone loves a happy ending.

Here I am, front row and center,
popcorn in hand;
clueless as to why I am alone.
In this dark, cold, empty place,
I am alone.

Nonetheless, here for you.

The curtain rises, it's your time to shine.
It's just like you said,
boy likes girl,
girl likes boy.

There are no two hearts more in unison,
though it seems something unsettles his mind.

Thoughts of her lying,
Thoughts of her cheating,
Thoughts of her leaving,
bestow tragedy.

I am waiting.
Where is the happy ending?
I am here waiting to watch you love,
to watch you hold,
to watch you unite.

I throw popcorn at your deceit,
at your paranoia,
at your hysteria.

You ripped me off.
I now know why I am alone.
In this dark, cold, empty place,
I am alone.

Guess it is all a sad tale...the way the beating of one's heart fades.
Plastic feelings, fake attachments I went head in for the take. I stayed awake; I was just there, like a fool I waited and waited

I guess Its all over now huh?
because you can't hurt me anymore. Like wild fire the hurt spreads, but now all the spine and strokes of my body is dead.

You didn't know huh?
That after all these times I'd be moving on from you, you had me, you had me so tight, wrapped up in your manipulation and lies.

I wanted to break into you, infest your soul so you'll come alive, but I...I was the one who broke as you slowly snatched my life.

All I ever wanted, was to feel wanted...by you...
all I ever needed was my peace of mind that I later found out will never come if I had remained with you.


S.B

NJROTC is the one thing that made me feel confident in who I was, now it is gone. There will be no ROTC next year, most people don’t care, but the people who worked their butts off are hurting. We work all year round, constantly training and bettering ourselves. The funny thing about all of this is the fact that we all new it was coming, we just didn’t know how soon. People don’t care and I don’t expect them to but I hope people realize that having that program changed the school for the better and the cadets in it.
We weren’t perfect we had our days where we just wanted to give up. We have had rocks thrown at us, yet we stood firm. We have been made fun of and still are but that never once took an ounce of pride from our hearts. I will not be here I graduate in May, so people wonder why I am so upset. I am upset because I have personally worked with every cadet who wanted to be something, I have been there when we won first place titles, I have been there for the most hilarious fails, I have been there for the biggest wins in the smallest ways. Regardless of when or where I have been there! I have seen them at there best and worst, I have given pep talks at meets that have changed the outcome within the blink of an eye. You can’t understand what it is like to be in a program like this if you aren’t in it.
In the eyes of the Juniors everything they have worked for for three years have just been ripped from their hands, they don’t know how to handle something like this, neither do I. ROTC made these kids who they are, it has shaped me into the strong, confident and intelligent woman I am. How do I look them straight into the eyes and tell them it is gonna be okay when I myself don’t even believe that? I will walk out of high school with only one regret, that I didn’t prepare them properly for this hit. I have lead and prepared them for everything but this, could it be true? Is this it? It is………..

You said...You and I have a connection, is it a special kind of connection?
...Because You and I could conquer this world, would you take my hand.

I want to be so engulf in you...but now I just feel like I was in the line of your selection
...My heart yearned for you so badly, especially in a time of cold but your always away and I just couldn't understand.

This is you and I...and our hearts at war. You set your trap and I take for the fall, didn't we get entangled...after all?
Look at me falling down, in a circle...round and round.

I could lie on your chest for eternity just to hear your heart beat...your soul is within me and now I can't leave.
I could stay away with you forever...but I know that even forever, isn't forever.

But you and I ...as far as I can see, could spend the day but again I'd watch you slipped out of my arms as the sun fades, because you and I are a set of destruction as you released in me chemicals that reveals the only person I wish not to be.

So in the sake of you and I ... It's time for us to set ourselves free.


S.B

I don't quite know how to start off this letter, as I don't really know how to start to say goodbye. How do you say goodbye to somebody you've loved your whole life? How do you say words you never thought you'd have to say?
Never in a million years did I think that this is how you would go,  that this is how you would be taken from us. If you had caught me back when I was 15 and asked if I thought that my beloved aunt who had devoted her life and soul to the lord would be fighting cancer, I'd tell you it could never happen.
But, I learned very quickly that cancer does not discriminate. Cancer will take whomever it chooses, despite the amount of prayers, love, and hope we send out into the abyss.
I still remember the day I found out. The night before, everyone was gathering at grams for an extremely rare occasion - a visit from you. It was exciting and terrifying when I heard the news that you were coming down from the Monastery and staying the weekend, as typically Nuns are not allowed to leave the Monastery for any general reason, let alone for leisure. At the time you were coming down my cousin and I were not speaking, though I can barely remember why now. That night while I was working and you spent your first night home with your parents in very many years, I received a text from my cousin that read "Hey, when you talk to Aunt Sally tomorrow, text me. I know we're not on the best of terms but just text me, okay?" So then the worry became more prominent and it seemed as though I was being terrorized that night as I dreamed. The next day I went to my grams, and soon enough the world was crumbling around me. I was not prepared in the slightest to hear what I was about to hear, for nothing in this world can prepare you for the news that cancer has riddled it's way into your loved one. No one and nothing can prepare you for the news that the cancer isn't just at its beginning stages, but that its just nearing its end. That, from the moment the cancer formed in your body until the moment you noticed an abnormality and went for a doctor's visit, you had not even the slightest clue that cancer was taking over your body. I thank the Lord that your disease was, for the majority of the time before this past year and some, painless. I thank the Lord that we were lucky enough to have so much more time with you than what was originally thought. I thank the Lord for the many blessings already bestowed upon my family; for my amazing nephew and niece, for the wonderfully supportive family we are, and so much more.
But now, with each and every passing day, I wake up knowing full well that the time span of two weeks to two months left for you is only a number, that this means nothing. The Lord will take you when he pleases, and no amount of prayers to Him, to Mary, to Joseph, to the Seven Martyrs, or to any Saint, will change the Lord's mind.