reminds me of you,
breathing life
into the trees.
rain drops
remind me of you,
nourishing flowers
and brightening grass.
you shine in the windows,
warming up someone’s soul,
waking up the passion of a soul.
you shower over souls,
cleaning them of dirt and sorrow.
 
you worked hard in the spring,
bringing life to decades of history,
passing down the jewels in your eyes.
you were relentless as a spring storm,
never stopping,
always nurturing the flowers in your life.
you payed close attention to the wilted,
the rotting, and the forgotten.
your gentle hands
healed the sick
and fed the hungry.
 
bright as sunlight,
you sung to those you loved,
knowing the importance
of saying those three words.
i always woke up happy to see you,
peeking in my windows,
and wrapping warm arms around
me when i was cold.
you baked me sweets,
marshmallows and peanut butter,
each bite warming my soul.
how could one ever be mad
at warmth that followed them
everywhere they went?

we lay here together,
the sunlight, just beginning to peak in through the curtains
reflects off your cheek, encircling you in an angelic glow.
a single gentle curl on your forehead is lit gold by the light
acting as a benevolent midas; turning only the purest.
as my fingers softly graze over your skin, you sigh,
almost waking.

I’d never seen the beauty in mornings before you,
always such cold, miserable affairs.
tearing sleep from my eyes,
in a rush to stay on time, always
late.
for me, beauty was always in the evening, the dusk sun
sinking below the horizon and lighting the sky in its pinky rainbow.

as we lay here together,
I can’t begin to remember why I didn’t like mornings.

My entire adult life spent through selfies adorned with false smiles, vanity portraying the "best version" of myself.
My own body delusions still presented without filter, although masked.
Raw, vulnerable photographs through my weakest moments, tear strings, pink cheeks and red eyes aren't something I've felt comfortable posting.
However posed my photos are, they still aren't altered.
Playing up my own dysmorphic disorder from youth yet grasping my own beauty seen as overly vain.
Early youth Ex boyfriends told me selfies were extremely narcissistic, and made me seem rampant for attention.
But does a girl who has such little following still seek approval of others when they don't like photos?
I'm not sure.
My instagram feed is dull.
It's not uniform or beautifully choreographed.
I often hide photos, as I too enjoy hiding myself from time to time.
I intended on leaving an imprint of all these useless photos I've taken over the last decade. Physically I no longer share similar traits to younger versions of myself, though mentally I've changed overall time and time again. People have called me iron-clad, the strongest person they know.
But am I?
My body embellished with secrets of a personality I used to be too afraid of showing men until this fall.
How many basic accommodations I've missed out on, how my body soaks up the granules of this love.
My being is a season, wise in my own way and mystic in terms of value.  
Windows beaming with warm midday sunlight, and crispy fall mornings.
Evolving rituals, moonglow and warmth. Certain darkness like still plotted night skies. Teetering vulnerability, and overstuffed closet.
Days less spent pining over lost dysfunction, and moreover trying to figure out who I have become.
Perceived destruction of oneself versus proverbial Phoenix reconditioning.  
Warrior ignite.
This winter's met with welcomed warmth though grazed heartache and sadness.

There’s nothing 
I want more than 
to see the sunlight
pouring over your face
with a gaze that tells me
you’re the happiest 
you’ve ever been.

Soft as light that slips through windows shaded
alabaster body tangled up in
sea of wrinkled cotton warm and faded.
Still and silent, I dare not awaken

Spontaneity planned every afternoon
There was plenty of time to be responsible later
It felt like freedom, sunlight beaming down and a gentle breeze
It felt like freedom, running through the rain
It felt like freedom, the plans to run away with you

Comfort wraps me up every night
Time to reflect on the day
It feels comforting, open ears await my rambling thoughts
It feels comforting, the warmth of you holding me while I fall asleep
It feels comforting, to finally be where I am supposed to be

It feels free to love you
It feels comforting to love you and be loved by you