And our hands touched the water
Our heads faced the wind
We took a mental picture
Sand salt and skin
Emotions a mixture
Anxiety we've grown akin
And for a while I forgot
And I wasn't sad, I wasn't scared
If anything I was ill-prepared
As this took me by surprise
But the way the moon hit your eyes
Late Thursday night drive
You made me feel alive

To M.

See, I should have kissed you.

I should have kissed you when I had the chance to. Should have pulled you closer, stood on my tiptoes, my hand tightly clutching your neck, and kissed you full on the mouth. Should have run my fingers through your spiky hair, smiling as your arms closed around me.

I should have found you, the taste of tiramisu still on my lips, and I should have kissed you, giving you a taste of the happiness in a box that you'd handed me so timidly.

Your voice still rings loud and clear in my head, I hear it when I read your messages, that distinctive accent, eyebrows raised, cheekbones moving. And that smile, so sly and cunning, your lips slightly upturned. I *should have kissed those lips when I had the chance to do so. Then and there, among tears and sporadic, almost desperate hugs, I should have kissed you. When you held on to me for just a little longer, your hug tight, your hands running along my back, I should have traced your lips with mine. I should have sealed that promise with a kiss.


"You never see a person only once in a lifetime," you whispered in my ear, your breath tickling me. "That's a promise," I choked on tears, "You hear me, it's a promise."


I should have kissed you; instead, I hugged you once again as you held me tightly and rubbed my back. I should have just reached out. Fate or whatever mystical force there is ******* us up pretty badly. If only I'd met you earlier. If only I'd known you before I got mixed up with the wrong person. I wish we'd had more time. I wish I'd done a lot of things differently. My heart drops in my stomach every time you say you miss me. Your voice will fade away. I won't be able to conjure up your face without looking at pictures, and all your familiar features will be blurred by time and memory. The ephemeral imprint of your skin against mine will soon be gone forever. My heart will grow cold.


The taste of tiramisu will linger, though. Always in the back of my mind, the unanswered question of what it would be like to taste it from your lips. Have tiramisu some time. I hope it tastes like me. You never see a person only once in a lifetime, but perhaps you only have one chance to kiss.

I should have kissed you.

It was the summer of ‘83 and my hair was blonde like you liked it
I wasn’t anything you didn’t like
My nails were that aquamarine blue you said you liked after we sat on the pier
And I learned to make your favourite breakfast after your mother made it for us the first time I came over
I was for you, I was made for you, I was yours
But then that sunny Saturday evening just before sunset
I walked down to the pier to paint you the prettiest picture
And I saw her wrapped around your bones like our first time
I saw you gaze into her eyes like they reflected the constellations we would name together on a Friday night
And I ran straight home to dye my hair red
To paint my nails black because I knew it reminded of you of the car your father left in
And the last time you’d come over for breakfast, I made sure to burn your toast like you burned my heart
I saw you the week after with her, nails painted blue, hair curled the way you liked mine and I laughed
I was for you, I was made for you, but no more
No more

It was the summer of ‘83 and my hair was blonde like you liked it
I wasn’t anything you didn’t like
My nails were that aquamarine blue you said you liked after we sat on the pier
And I learned to make your favourite breakfast after your mother made it for us the first time I came over
I was for you, I was made for you, I was yours
But then that sunny Saturday evening just before sunset
I walked down to the pier to paint you the prettiest picture
And I saw her wrapped around your bones like our first time
I saw you gaze into her eyes like they reflected the constellations we would name together on a Friday night
And I ran straight home to dye my hair red
To paint my nails black because I knew it reminded of you of the car your father left in
And the last time you’d come over for breakfast, I made sure to burn your toast like you burned my heart
I saw you the week after with her, nails painted blue, hair curled the way you liked mine and I laughed
I was for you, I was made for you, but no more
No more

His love
Was as fleeting
As that summer
We met.

We all have
that one person,
who changed
everything.

Your personality,
opinions
and your life.

For me,
you are that person.

All it took was
a few weeks,
summer
and a guy like you.

I miss when he would call me beautiful because he could.
Because his eyes didn't just see it, but his heart felt it.

You strum your guitar
Like the strings on my heart.
Pluck them effortlessly
To get a smile or two.
& on those summer days I couldn't help but feel
w
  e
  i
   g
    h
     t
      l
       e
        s
         s      
Like a wandering balloon
With nothing to hold on to.