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sadgirl Oct 2017
after kaveh akbar

you'll get it over it* - lil *** vert

oh ***/beast/gun/green/baby boy
i tried, but my stomach nearly

disintegrated, my skin nearly
slid off, leaving me red as a anxiety-

irritated wound, i nearly
killed myself, & i'm not

just joking, like kids
at my school who

yell go **** yourself
across the hallways,

no,
i'm not that immature

sometimes you remind me
of my mother's disappointed eyes

when i rolled up
my sleeve,

and how she took me
to get frozen yogurt

afterwards
she told me not to

go crazy on the candy,
but i drowned myself

in mochi, because
i couldn't drown

myself in real
life
Inspired by Cotton Candy by Kaveh Akbar.
standing there
by a broken tree
torn to pieces
with a toothy grin screaming
"Im. Still. Breathing."
Here lies a scar
a short cut to a shortcut
on the journey home
to the heart
I almost died trying to
find a way out of myself
to release my own demons
free the inside of me
in the split second
of a split vein
the moment i almost lost
all of my moments
the breath of life
i realized its importance
there is no easy way out
you will hurt the ones you love
when you are here now
then suddenly gone tomorrow
there is no easy way in
there will always be trauma
that aches beneath the skin
things you want to escape from
escape into
life is full of paradoxes
you want to live
but self sabbatoge your life
though the same God
who created the stars
created you
you feel yourself undeserving
to be among the living
Yet you are here
In almost giving it away
I learned life is a gift
i must not squander it
eventhough I feel squandered by it at times
that I am wasting my time
These ill feelings pass
and ill get past my past
and the future will at last
be the last thing I grasp
my last will and testament
that I faced the present
my sadness, my fears, my anxieties
deep depression
fought them all tooth and nail
raised hell
to be comfortable in my shell
accept myself
And I outlasted it
won the battle
Lived
Survived
Thrived.
I am here.
One of my goals in life has been to become a person who advocates for the mentally ill and helps end the stigma attached to mental health, especially within the african american community, one of the largest groups of people that reject mental health services. One of the ways I do this, is through sharing my own trials and triumphs. I am deciding to be brave today, take a deep breath....and live
Lou Morgan Sep 2016
I'm falling through
there's nothing left to do.
I'm falling through,
I'm missing you,
I remember you,
And everything you do.
My shattered memories fade,
I lost myself somewhere between the lonely days.
I'm falling through,
Like I fell for you.
My love for you was all in vain,
I hear your name and I feel the pain.
You dig into my skin,
like mortal sin.

I slip away...
I slip away...

I'm falling through,
I'm missing you,
But where are you?
And in that moment,
with me listening to the sound of your breathing,
time slowed and it became my favorite moment of utter peace.

*please read my note
September is suicide awareness month. 10 months ago I lost my someone I cared about deeply to suicide.
I did not write this poem; my best friend wrote it over 2 years ago about something he was going through at the time and he sent it to me. I've thought about sharing it for a long time, I wanted to be selfish and keep it to myself. I decided to share it with the world in loving memory of him because it's a little piece of him, and he was such a beautiful person and had a beautiful way with words.
Taylor Poole Jan 2016
I stare in the mirror at this girl,
A girl who's lost her way.
I sit here, my mind in a swirl.
But weirdly I'm okay.

I look at the empty pill bottle,
And I know death fills me.
I'm empty like that bottle.
I know heaven may reject me.

I couldn't handle all the pains.
I'm weak.
The pills poisoning my veins.
A better place is what I seek.

These eyes watch me die.
I'm not afraid.
Actually I can't lie.
I'm very afraid.

Maybe this wasn't the best,
Maybe there was a chance for me.
Maybe it was all a test.
But now it's too late for me.

There's no saving me.
Sky Oct 2015
Someone else is saying goodbye,
Their last breath slipping out of the grasp
of pale petal lips.
Someone else is at the ledge,
Taking one last step into the abyss
to enter eternal nightfall.
Someone else is wearing the rope,
Preparing to leap and swing
back and forth, back and forth.
Someone else is holding the blade,
Sliding it into soft, soft skin
to create a chasm.
Someone else has said goodbye,
Lost their last breath
to remember who they love.
Another young soul has been taken by the terrible claws of self-inflicted death....may her soul rest in more peace than she had in life.
Ourfirstfarewell May 2015
Dear broken one,
We hear your cry,
I understand the hurt, I won't ask you why.
We are the ones who know your story,
There are one who walked that road before me.
Now I'm with them and we're here to be your safety.
We're just trying to get you home safely.
We're all still hurting, and we live with burning scars.
We're the ones that look up and know that heavens gained some special stars.
We're the ones that made it through the night,
The ones that the difference between "said" and "done".
So we'll walk you through to see the morning light.
There's nothing we can say to hold up your walls
But we can be the protection as each one falls.
We've seen that ocean of insanity
And cried out to humanity
For a saving grace,
But the "strong ones" turn their face
And neglect the fragmented mirror on our hearts,
They sweep the pieces beneath the rug as our reflection falls apart.
We've felt your resentment, we used to feel alone too.
But we realized there's an army of fighters that feel the way we do.
The world will never feel the ambiguous pain eating through the bottom of your heart.
They'll try to heal you but they won't know where to start.
This ship is unfixable, we all feel like we're sinking anyways.
The truth is, we'll patch each others weakness and float on for brighter days.
We've been where you are.
The top of that cliff used to seem so far
From the bottom of the abyss, now all you can see is this.
Darkness rising
Pain still paralyzing
A deep we can't explain
An unforgivable stain
A darkened heart
A fear of knowing what it's like to completely fall apart.
That laundry list
Of brokenness
Feels like it's grown to be a string
Wrapped around our throats overwhelming us with everything.
You can look out into that abyss
And lose your sense of direction.
You can look into the void and lose your soul's inflection.
But Angel, we know what it's like to fall.
None of us want that for you at all.
You look into darkness and feel alone,
But the congregation behind you has grown.
We're an army, facing this battle together,
We have to recognize that things can't **** forever.
We're all standing with you at the top of the cliff, looking down.
Please try to see the million people all around
Who feel you crying.
We're not trying
To tell you tomorrow will be alright,
Because not a single soul heals quickly over night.
It's a long way to recovery,
But when I realized even strangers love me
The burden was no longer my own,
The weight of the world was no longer made of stone,
And we all carried together,
That fear of failure, and the fear of forever.
If we needed to be taken, we'd be dead by now,
So we have to keep moving, taking the next step somehow.
I believe in you. I have faith in your existence.
We're all here to back you up, and fight with against life's resistance.
The worlds big and scary, dark and unforgiving,
But take it step by step and together we'll see the strength and joy of truly living.
Kate Lion Sep 2014
my personality only comes in one flavor
and I'm not here
to custom-make an order or
wait on the haters
hand and foot

it shouldn't matter if my poetry is bland and tasteless
if my story isn't interesting enough to be told

perhaps I am a lone comic book sitting on a shelf in Green River, Utah

I may be useful to somebody
Someday
(but in the meantime I'll learn to love myself)

— The End —