My face is caked
With pigment, baked
In glaring lights, and I,
Can't wait.

My stomach churns,
Adrenaline
Is coursing through my veins,
but then

"5 minutes!"
Someone shouts, my head
perks up immeditely
And when

They beckon fervently
For me
And I cannot contain
My glee

Step out onto polished wood
Look out into the aisles
See faces staring up at you,
You're here to make them smile

I have the power to make them laugh,
To make them shout or cry,
And my nervousness is gone now that
I know their hearts are mine.

Standing on the stage
surrounded by light,
My friends beside me,
the cheering of delight.

The future looks bright and clear
but soon that all disappears

the audience leaves
the lights go off
my friends change and leave
and I am left standing in the dark
alone,
waiting for the next show.

My vocal chords scream out,
But I haven’t the means.
My knees give out,
But it wasn’t on a screen.

I haven’t made the grade

Till I’m on that stage.

I ****** the stage with silence so the audience anticipates the articulation of words that soon spill out of my mouth.

The show lights blind my eyes so all I can see are headless ghosts sitting in rows, neatly compact in a spiritual communion.

My mind stutters, body shudders, yet the line is plain to see as it was painted on my lips - ready to perform, ready to be spoken.

Narration courses through my lungs to produce cornered speech, creating an introductory-zone for the others to encroach behind me

And there we were, separated into our own character beams while I stood with shallow confidence at the forefront.

Though I'm not a main lead,
or a side character,
or a set piece,
I am the narrator.
I carry the weight of the story,
And I carry the ears of those who listen.

wrap your warm
           benevolent
    loving
           and caring arms
  all around me
                and whisper to my ears
                that you've always heard
                all my prayers and pleas
                     renew your covenant
          right now
     that you'll forever
                                 be with me
for i've forever been faithful to you
        then help me
               tell the whole world
            that you've
      since been the one
              i have
                 always
                     believed
                         you are.
                   let me show them
           that you are not
                                       the mess
                              of ***
                                   christened
                                                     in crack
                                                and pina colada
                                  that they now
                          think you are
                               let me make them see
          that you are not
          just a sad sack
          of fairy tales
          white washed
          painted pretty
          to hide your scars.
                  let me
                             let them
                                           understand
                             that under the husk
                             of that hopeless mirth
                             of the man they see
                             when they see you today
        lies the man
                                          that i see
                whenever
i close my eyes.
use me to open their's
use me to have them know
that you exist.
please.
                         i know you are
            out there
                        somewhere.
the man that i
              used to know.
                          i believe
                      you haven't forgotten...
                          i believe
           you haven't changed.
                                  my heart burns
                 to be the sacrifice
                                         that invites forth
                                                       your presence.
                                i long for you
                                            to make known
                           your being
                           once again.
           fashion your altar
                     from the tongue in my mouth
      i shall never cease
                              to sing of memoirs
                   for you.
                              use my bones
                make them the foundation
                                       upon which
                           you grace with your miracles
                                  and with all
                     the living skin
                               of my flesh
                            carve your memory
                                        of which no one
                                        will ever forget.

rain kissed wing tips dip and dive
claws curled up on the wires
that bind us
ill conceived desires reign a planet
with the tears of another child born
in a cage bound for the stage
Freedom lies in the wings
in that song that the rainbird sings