I remember you told me
That birds gave you hope.
I understand now that
You could not bear to stay
In the same place for too long.

seashore and sea trucks all clanking their way
with my demons swinging their clubs at bay
the street lights flicker, the shade now the colour
of your pale mellow skin. i bleed in the colour of
the sea, maybe a bit of a whale blue and a tinge of a
seaweed. but the essence is still the smell of your
cigarettes. how can trucks that chug down Pondicherry
smell like typhoons flavoured like berries?
simple flowers that are dying. dry and sore, almost
like how i assume my face is a bore.
i can't do much now can i? i cry here and there
and lift myself and walk with a weak flair
and it's not that bad, because the anagram of my
love put the other way is lifeless.
how nothing can make me so much you ask
its because i kept running away from demons
why you ask, again, because i always loved my demons,
the way i loved your name, so why the race?

because now all my demons have your face.

not because it's full
but
because
you

s
     p    i
                 l            l
                                        e     d
                                                                me.

Commitment
That word alone scares me
Because I've had to deal with people
Abandoning me , leaving me
Having me pick up my broken pieces on my own
So thought of someone staying
Confuses me because they say '' I'll stay ''
But every single time like clockwork
Suddenly it turns into silently leaving me and
Abandoning me out of no where
So yes the word and actual commitment
scares me to the point where I am the one
to leave first to spare myself the hurt
And of course from what I've seen
everyone says they will stay but in reality
once one is vulnerable and shows someone all the reasons
not to stay along with the brokenness
that is their past
Of course they all leave
That's what I deserve / All I'm used to  
So why should I expect you to stay
Back it up with your actions
- excerpt from a book I'll never write

My hands reached for yours
Holding them in between
Just like it happened
In all dreams, I had seen

You smiled; I smiled
"You are beautiful," I said
"No. You are." You said
As if in protest.

I see war movies
in the night a little late
That's only place I find
People with greater pain

I see it when I'm sad
I see it when I feel disabled
I see it when I need pals
I see it to feel less miserable

I saw a man in wildfire
And another burning it
There was one in vicious smoke
There was one making it

I saw the little devil blast
I saw lots of flying metal
I saw men killing fellow men
And it squinched my heart a little

Men lost their lives in war
Some only died half
Curse with a lot worse
They'll have to die in parts

Love doesn't pierce your flesh
Or leave any visible scars
But for I know and all I know
I'd rather be at war

I got lost in the road map creases of your palms,


and the stromatic streets of your irises,


and the bar needle, compass cracks of your lips,


and as I looked for shelter,

I found myself walking in circles;

wrapped around your 


finger.


((((((((acquiesced))))))))

What could have been
But never was
The past is gone
I let it pass

So many chances
Never taken,
Did I miss out?
Should I keep waiting?

To seize the day
You must be brave
I was afraid,
Is it too late?

The easy way
Is to stay still -
Maybe someday
Love will appear