Sometimes I feel forgotten.
My friends hang out, meet new people, and here I sit alone. Silence is deadly, but my thoughts are deafening. I get promises of meeting them, but those words are just forgotten. Just like me.

Sometimes I feel weak.
I feel like I have no walls to keep me safe, and that I tear myself down but for what? I feel stupid because I can't fix myself, and the holes in my dam break and flood my mind.

Sometimes I'm misunderstood.
People constantly say they understand, but if they did they would recognize I have a problem, not that I want to be that way. I think negativity so I can't see a good side to things because that's all I'm fed.

Sometimes I'm wrong.
Sometimes I'm wrong in a argument, but when I know that you make me feel like a 5 year old child who's still learn to be their own human, and I am. But why walk out a victor and me and loser, when we both can be winners.

Sometimes I cause my own problems.
I do things I know are wrong, but I do them anyway. I shame and stress myself. I tell myself I have to pick myself up, and work to the top again.

Sometimes I don't need my space.
I hate being out all day, because I'm so used to being home all the time, I feel like I'm betraying something. But I don't know what. Maybe sometime you should ask me outside and help me get over it.

Or forget me like the rest of us.

Sometimes
I look outside and watch the rising sun
not for any particular reason
just for fun

Sometimes
I go to the kitchen and start to dance
not with anyone else
just myself and the pans

Sometimes
I cry until the oceans are dry
not because of someone else
just for the others who die

Sometimes
I get so mad I just want to go fight
not to inflict pain on anyone
but because some do to cause fright

Sometimes
I try too hard to find love
not because i'm desperate
but I don't always feel it from above

Sometimes
I don't see the truth in front of me
not because It's not there
but because I choose not to see.

Sometimes I think
About all my flaws
So I take the blade
To my bare wrist
And make a slice
Into my skin

Sometimes when there are pills in my house
Or nearby to where I am
I get an urge
To find the bottle
And swallow its contents

Sometimes when I’m alone
In my bedroom at night
I think about how much I hate myself
And that I would be better off dead

But if it weren’t for
Certain people
Those “sometimes” would be “all the times”
And I would be dead

sometimes my pain
is yelling at my family
not even remembering why
sometimes my anger
is crying in my room alone
being careful not to make a sound
sometimes my sadness
is standing in the rain
wishing it would wash me away
sometimes my depression
is lying in bed and wanting to get up
but not being able to lift the chains
sometimes my breath
is stolen from my lungs
feeling all of this at once
sometimes my mind
is numb and empty
feeling nothing at all
sometimes im just... there
not feeling anything
but not feeling nothing
and sometimes in those moments
i wish i was dead.

I find myself doing the things you used to do.
The way you'd bite your lip when you were thinking.
The way you'd put your hands together
During a scary movie.

I find myself mimicking the little things
That I loved about you.
And it breaks my heart to feel this;
That I can't get you out of my head.

Your actions, your smile, your voice:
They're imprinted in my brain.
You became a part of me
And I think that's what made it hurt so much
When you left and took that part of me
With you, away from me.

Everybody tells me
"Just get over it"
"Move on"
"It was just a stupid summer crush"

But you were everything to me
And I don't think I'll ever be able to feel that again.
I steeled my heart and closed off my mind.

I'll never let anyone in like that again.
Never.

But sometimes... I want to